mickyinlondon said:
My wife went through WW2 as a young girl; worked all her life; paid all her dues; only to once in her life need help; and the ******** sold her out.
Bet your life I am angry; bet your life I detest them all; and bet your life; if my wife suffers; then the rest of my life I will hound them all; in any way I can.
They say the pen is mightier than the sword; well I can write; and I fear no man, and I will tell it as I find it.
My anger will subside; but it will be replaced with a vengeance that will give my life a meaning; and cause to live on alone.
You ain’t seen nothing yet.
You can ban me if you like; I have been banned before from forums; not for abuse; but for just being honest; to honest for hypocrites’ and I know its par for the course.
But I believe in free speech; something politicians do not like us having; but who cares; what can they do; shoot me, if so; then they can expect the same back.
Micky.
Dear Micky,
Your post vibrates with anger. As others have said, you have a perfect right to be angry that your wife, whom you obviously love and adore, is suffering this awful disease.
You also have a perfect right to feel that the years when you and your wife should be enjoying your "golden age" have been negatively affected by dementia.
I'm sure you are right to feel angry, too, that there is never enough money or political will, to make sure that everyone gets the very best treatment he or she deserves.
Having said that, though, I would suggest you take care not to "spray" your anger like a hail of bullets into the crowd. If you do, it will "hit" those who are not responsible as well as those who should bear more responsibility. It will earn you no favours and could even mean people pay you less attention than you deserve.
Please consider the following points, many of which others have also raised:
It IS unfair that your wife is suffering this dreadful disease, but it is no body's fault. It is unfair to every sufferer that they must go through this.
It is unfair that we, as Carers, have such a difficult task - but it is what we choose to do. Once we've chosen to be Carers, we recognise that life will never be as it was before. (Sadly, we can never go back to what we had.)
HOPE can mean different things to different people. As others have quite rightly pointed out, there is NO cure for this disease (yet!) but we can hope for the future.
We can hope that our loved ones will not suffer too greatly.
We can hope we have the strength, courage, tenacity, grace and humility to care for them in the way that is best for them (the sufferers), not in the ways that are necessarily what we would choose.
May I suggest that you direct your considerable energy to:
1) working with the medical profession to find out exactly what they plan in the way of treatment for your wife, when they plan to implement it and what you can do to help.
2) seeking support from your local community to help you in this task you are undertaking, of caring for her yourself. You may well find, as others on this forum have, that you and your wife are entitled to help that is practical and useful (whether it is day care for your wife; help with housework and shopping; whatever best meets your needs).
3) staying well yourself - physically, mentally and emotionally. This is a very draining disease for Carers. We can never really predict how our own loved ones will be affected and what is coming next. It seems that just as you get used to one thing, something else pops up! One person's experience of the disease is not the same as another's, so we can't predict the future at all. We all need to stay fit, well and strong to last the distance.
Finally, I do encourage you to stay with Talking Point as it is truly a godsend for us Carers. Here we can "talk" to others going through similar situations. We can get very helpful information and advice. And above all, we can find support when we need it.
You are starting a long and difficult journey and you are to be highly commended for undertaking it. Remember that we are here to help and support you, and each other, even when we don't agree with each other!!
Wishing you and your wife the best of all possible journeys. Nell