1. Meldrew

    Meldrew Registered User

    Apr 28, 2003
    This new area on Talking Point starts today, Monday 21 January 2008. It's here so that anyone who identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transegnder (LGBT) or anyone else who feels it appropriate and who has concerns about dementia can post messages and hopefully get some online support which addresses their sprecific needs. That's not to say that if your'e an LGBT person you cannot post in other areas of Talking Point but, in the same way as the Alzheimer's Society LGBT Carers Group telephone support deals with dementia related issues often unique to LGBT people, we hope that this signposts people to share experiences and knowledge.
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    I`d like to add my welcome and hope that LGBT members will not just confine themselves to this section. The whole of Talking Point offers support, shared experiences and virtual friendship to all members.
  3. cathy baldwin

    cathy baldwin Registered User

    Jan 21, 2008
    Central Office
    Just want to add my welcome too and hope that many will find support and information that is right for them in all areas of the site! Don't be shy - we want to hear from you x
  4. KatherineW

    KatherineW Volunteer Moderator

    Oct 2, 2007
    Another welcome, particularly to any new LGBT members who may have found to their way to Talking Point through this section... :)

    I really hope that this will be a useful addition to the fantastic support already available on Talking Point.

  5. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
  6. LizP

    LizP Registered User

    Mar 6, 2006

    Hi Everyone,

    Just a quick hello.

    My name's Liz and I'm a researcher with a particular interest in sexuality. I've been doing some work recently on gay and lesbian carers' experinces of dementia, which is how I got involved with the gay and lesbian carers' network.

    I'm hoping that this board will generate interest from both LGBT carers and people with dementia, but also from those who are interested to see how and why LGBT people's experiences of dementia may be different from heterosexual carers.

    Looking forward to some interesting discussion.

    Liz :)
  7. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    Hiya Liz, so how did you hear about this board being set up?
  8. LizP

    LizP Registered User

    Mar 6, 2006
    #8 LizP, Jan 23, 2008
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2008
    Hello Helen,

    I'm a member of the LGBT Carers' Network Steering Committee, where the idea of a special board on the forum was discussed some time ago.

    My interest in dementia itself comes from my background as a social woker - I worked with older people with mental health problems and many of the people I worked with had one or other form of dementia.

  9. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    Hi everyone!

    A very big welcome to any / all who post on this forum! I think it is a GREAT idea, and I hope others find it a help and a support. Don't forget you are always welcome to post on ALL the TP forums - this is one of the great strengths of TP.

    Every best wish.
  10. kikkim41

    kikkim41 Registered User

    Jan 17, 2008
    Great to see this forum!

    I am delighted to see this forum!

    My mother (92) has dementia and is now in a nursing home. My father was the primary carer and my partner and I visited frequently. When my father (then 88) began to crumble, my partner and I spent many months visiting nursing homes.

    As a gay man, it was ‘interesting’ to compare the reactions of care home staff to the fact that we were a gay couple. At best the reaction was warm and welcoming, involving us both equally in the discussions. At worst the reaction was one of discomfort verging on hostility.

    Subsequently I have experienced both personally and as a volunteer with the Society’s LGBT Carers network, just how variable the reaction of professionals can be when their services are called upon by an LGBT person. Reaction, which ranges from excellent support to judgemental hostility when the relationship is explained. I believe this adds considerably to already existing stress and exhaustion.

    This is just one example why I feel it is so important for the Society to offer the LGBT network as an opportunity for others who may wish to gain support by talking with someone who has a similar life experience.

    Ooops! Gone on a bit!

  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Welcome to TP Bruce.
    I really do hope this section will become as active as all the other sections.
    Love xx
  12. Dave W

    Dave W Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005

    As a relatively long time user of TP and a happily out gay man, it's great to see this section - although I hope as everyone else has said that everyone will continue to post elsewhere - I've learnt so much from other carers here (and had immense, immense emotional support from them) and hope that we're not creating a little ghetto in the corner.

    I think I must be fortunate, in that my partner has been involved with my Mum from the outset, visiting hopsitals, homes and care professionals of all types with me throughout. Our only frosty reception was from a psychiatrist we later discovered had a nasty reputation for frostiness to relatives of all persuausions. And the care home staff have always welcomed us very warmly and openly (my other half even got a birthday cake made for him last year). From my broader experiences of life, I suspect we have indeed been fortunate - in the care we've witnessed and the lack of attitude towards us. (Maybe we're just nice people and they like us - who knows?)

    I am interested to hear others' experiences - and particularly the experiences (direct or observed) of LGBT dementia sufferers: one day we're both going to be old too, and I know we'd both want the best for each other (and how to make sure we don't get something less than that).
  13. Thanks Dave

    Hello again Dave.
    Your point about LGBT people with dementia highlights something which concerns us in the Carers Group very much.
    We estimate that 35000 LGBT have dementia (that is based on 5% of the 700000 with dementia) but we dont know where they are.
    Occasionally we get to hear about gay people in residential homes but it is a rare occurence.
    I have said many times before that I used to visit my partner in his residential home and there were a number there also with dementia who never received visitors; I always said to myself that some of these are gay and no one knows and it is too late to know. I dont want to be in that situation.
    My feeling is that we must mobilise the gay community on this one, but first we need to get the same community to recognise that older LGBTs really do exist!!!! From the gay press you get the impression that all LGBTs die off at the age of about 35.
    Much more I can say about this but at least this is a start on such an important subject.
    Best wishes
  14. river_

    river_ Registered User

    Oct 15, 2007
    Wow how lovely we have a section of our own :) I identify as a bi woman although have my "i think I'm gay" moments.
    I am in a polyamorous relationship with a bi man and dating women, also I am going to see my first love tomorrow, it will be nice to see her and hopefully we can be friends and be in each others lives again after 5 years apart.

    I have felt like this forum is quite conservative and any reference to my sexuality or life style has been made with a little nervousness but look we are welcome here :) So hello :D
  15. Kate P

    Kate P Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    Hi river,

    Can I be dense and ask what polyamorous means? It's not an expression I've heard before.

    I did look it up on the thesaurus on my computer but wouldn't you know, it's not there.

    Hope I'm not being too nosy!
  16. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    Katie, from reading the post I take it to mean more than one relationship at the same time. I am so glad to be able to read of the experiences of others and hope that this will give me an insight into an area I haven't thought about before. Just a thought but, I wonder if it is easier for gay men who have partners, relatives, friends in a care home situation than it would be for a lesbian woman? I wonder this because of the preponderance of females who work in the caring profession and wonder if acceptance is a little easier if you are dealing with the opposite sex in such situations?

  17. Kate P

    Kate P Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    Ah thank you Tina. Makes sense now you've said that. It's always good to learn something new.

    I too think this could be a very interesting "room" as I think it's hard to understand the difficulties faced when you are not in that environment yourself.
  18. river_

    river_ Registered User

    Oct 15, 2007
    Responsible non manogamy is a nice way to put it :)

    Have to point out there will be some upset people that the subforum title does not include bisexual or transgender, bi and trans invisability a big issue in LGBT campaining.
  19. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    #19 Grannie G, Mar 30, 2008
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2008
    Hello River.

    If you look at the first post on this Thread, Welcome, posted by Meldrew, you will see a reference to LGBT....including bi-sexual and transgender.

    I am not sure what happened to the naming of the Section, I thought it was fully inclusive. :confused:confused:

    I know when it was being discussed, it was always referred to as a LGBT Section.

    I will try to find out and get back to you.
  20. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006

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