So yesterday I became a new member of the Club, the club that nobody wants to join. The club which is joked about and mocked, the club which has a few illustrious former members, and thousands that no one has ever heard of.
Over a year ago I realised that something was wrong. That somehow something in my brain had changed and was changing. At the time I was in a psychiatric hospital following a depressive episode and the Consltant Psychiatrist had concluded that I had a personality disorder. A psychologist gave me a cognitive test which I aced - and despite my requests for further investigation the psychiatrist told me that as I performed well cognitively there was no possibility of me having dementia of any kind.
I have since moved to Edinburgh where my new mental health team seemed to listen more. First I was given a CT scan which showed a moderate degree of atrophy: membership of the club was looming. As a result of this I was sent off for a SPECT scan, to further investigate the highways and byways of my brain.
Yeserday I was told what this had found - that there is damage within both my parietal lobes, consistent with the early stages of dementia. Membership confirmed.
Next I will have neuropsychological tests to try and determine my category of membership. Apparently it might be the big A, although I have no memory loss. And it isn't clear whether I qualify for full membership or the beginner's special offer. Nor can anyone tell me how progressive my condition is.
I am 67, so I'm a Junior Member. Looking back, I suspect that this think has been gestating for decades. I've long had problems with dealing with planning and organisation in my life, although I was in a high powered job as a radio journalist: but my home life was chaotic. Sometimes this would give me problems at work - although generally I found ways around this. During the past year though I've suffered more and more from a lack of empathy, and increased apathy. I have problems with my perception of time, and I seem to have lost interest in my abiding passion for drawing.
I might be one of the first people to welcome my new membership. Finally I have some objective evidence that yes, I do have a disease that is influencing my behaviour. Yes, there are reasons over above and beyond my control. Some of my friends though are struggling, and are denying me my rights to membership which I find interesting. Suddenly they are experts on dementia, busy telling me about the brain's elasticity and how I can learn to cope.
I have a great sense of relief that my thoughts have been vindicated. It's not nice realising that neurons have died, never to be replaced. But I feel that I've known this for months. It's not nice thinking that I will deteriorate further - but at least I now know why. Yesterday afternoon I took part in an online interview with a dementia researcher. He was delighted to hear from someone who had literally just been a member of the D Club for a few hours. It's time to give something back.
Over a year ago I realised that something was wrong. That somehow something in my brain had changed and was changing. At the time I was in a psychiatric hospital following a depressive episode and the Consltant Psychiatrist had concluded that I had a personality disorder. A psychologist gave me a cognitive test which I aced - and despite my requests for further investigation the psychiatrist told me that as I performed well cognitively there was no possibility of me having dementia of any kind.
I have since moved to Edinburgh where my new mental health team seemed to listen more. First I was given a CT scan which showed a moderate degree of atrophy: membership of the club was looming. As a result of this I was sent off for a SPECT scan, to further investigate the highways and byways of my brain.
Yeserday I was told what this had found - that there is damage within both my parietal lobes, consistent with the early stages of dementia. Membership confirmed.
Next I will have neuropsychological tests to try and determine my category of membership. Apparently it might be the big A, although I have no memory loss. And it isn't clear whether I qualify for full membership or the beginner's special offer. Nor can anyone tell me how progressive my condition is.
I am 67, so I'm a Junior Member. Looking back, I suspect that this think has been gestating for decades. I've long had problems with dealing with planning and organisation in my life, although I was in a high powered job as a radio journalist: but my home life was chaotic. Sometimes this would give me problems at work - although generally I found ways around this. During the past year though I've suffered more and more from a lack of empathy, and increased apathy. I have problems with my perception of time, and I seem to have lost interest in my abiding passion for drawing.
I might be one of the first people to welcome my new membership. Finally I have some objective evidence that yes, I do have a disease that is influencing my behaviour. Yes, there are reasons over above and beyond my control. Some of my friends though are struggling, and are denying me my rights to membership which I find interesting. Suddenly they are experts on dementia, busy telling me about the brain's elasticity and how I can learn to cope.
I have a great sense of relief that my thoughts have been vindicated. It's not nice realising that neurons have died, never to be replaced. But I feel that I've known this for months. It's not nice thinking that I will deteriorate further - but at least I now know why. Yesterday afternoon I took part in an online interview with a dementia researcher. He was delighted to hear from someone who had literally just been a member of the D Club for a few hours. It's time to give something back.