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Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

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UJ2015

Registered User
Dec 12, 2015
9
Hi, I'm Jane and I've finally got around to looking for support and guidance to help care for my father. I'll just roam around the threads. Thanks for existing and being here!
 

Bellabeau

Registered User
Dec 14, 2015
1
Lancashire UK
Hello TP

Hi, I'm Lisa and I lost my Dad two weeks ago, he had Alzheimer's for nine years. Today was his funeral. After all the activity of today I am now just sat here feeling a bit lost and decided to seek some comfort from the AS website, that lead me on to finding TP and I'm glad I have, I think talking to others in the same boat will be comforting.
 

Alley

Registered User
Dec 14, 2015
5
Newhall, Derbyshire
Pick's disease

My wife was diagnosed with Pick's disease in September. The family had noticed a difference in her behaviour for many, many months. I have got very frustrated/angry with her and am blaming myself, rather than her, so I sent an e-mail to a dementia support worker. I asked her if this was unusual, but she said no.
We have been married for 43 years and I am on edge when out with her in case she embarrasses me or says something inappropriate. I am 68 and my wife 64.She has always been a happy person, but not the cleverest, although she has been a hair stylist full and part time and still has a couple of mobile customers. She is on one tablet per day, in the hope it may slow down the dementia.
Has anyone experienced a similar situation to mine?
 

stanleypj

Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
10,708
North West
Welcome to TP Alley. I'm so sorry about what has brought you here but can assure you will get a lot of support. I have no experience of Pick's but I'm sure there will be members who have and I hope you will soon hear from them. You could also start your own thread asking for info about Pick's here:

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/newthread.php?do=newthread&f=70

People often feel blame or guilt initially. There is absolutely no need to. Concentrate on how you can help her, day by day.
 

Kylie

Registered User
Dec 7, 2015
18
Devon
Hello

My names Kylie, my mums been diagnosed with Alzheimer's three months ago, although she was forgetting things a year before being diagnosed.

She's had a urinary infection which brought on delirium so she was admitted into hospital while there she had tests done which confirmed Alzheimer's. She came after four weeks she was only at home one night when she got angry with my dad and assaulted him. She was re-admitted to hospital where she has been since.

We are having her home with me and my family for Christmas over three weeks as can't stand the idea of her being on her own for Christmas. After this period we will have to decide if we can continue her care here or need to look at care homes.

Iv joined to get advise and help as iv never experienced Alzheimer's before.

Many thanks
 

stanleypj

Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
10,708
North West
Welcome to TP Kylie. You've come to the right place for advice and support.

People with dementia are sometimes not helped by being in hospital. It's brave of you to have her for three weeks and hopefully she'll have some pleasure with the family during that time and you will have a chance to think about where she should live in future.

Bear in mind that aggression is sometimes a phase that people go through. Sometimes they become a lot calmer when that phase is over. I hope this will be the case woth your mum.
 

Kylie

Registered User
Dec 7, 2015
18
Devon
Thank you

Thank you for the welcome, iv already learnt a lot from this forum going through the posts has been very helpful.

I'm hoping she will be more relaxed when she's here she's really looking forward to it which is lovely the nurses at the hospital say she's been in a better mood since knowing she was coming here . Fingers crossed
 

Kylie

Registered User
Dec 7, 2015
18
Devon
Welcome to TP Kylie. You've come to the right place for advice and support.

People with dementia are sometimes not helped by being in hospital. It's brave of you to have her for three weeks and hopefully she'll have some pleasure with the family during that time and you will have a chance to think about where she should live in future.

Bear in mind that aggression is sometimes a phase that people go through. Sometimes they become a lot calmer when that phase is over. I hope this will be the case woth your mum.
Thank you so much for the welcome
 
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hollydar

Registered User
Dec 17, 2015
9
Hello I am so relieved to have found you

Hello everyone my name is Pat. I will have been married to my Husband, Tony, for 50 years in February, all being well. Tony was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia in June, although I had noticed the odd problem about six months before, but I made light of it, hoping it would go away I suppose. Apart from being forgetful and asking me the same question repeatedly I felt I was coping quite well. However, he had to have a small operation on his ear in October and we had to visit our Doctor's surgery for dressings every couple of days, that is when the restless nights began. He has always worried about being on time for appointments so the day before he was due for the appointment he was constantly checking what time we had to be there. We have separate bedrooms but sleep close by to each other. I heard him up and thought he was going to the loo but he came into me dressed, even hat and coat, saying we had to be at our appointment. I tried to coax him to go back to bed but he wouldn't, so we both came downstairs and I made a drink. I went back up but, of course, no sleep as I kept listening to hear what he was doing. It seemed ok on the days we had no appointments as he slept right through the night before. The appointments lasted 9 weeks and I was so relieved they were over and thought sleep would get back to normal. How wrong I was, this problem has now got worse and most nights he gets up and gets annoyed to think I am still in bed, bearing in mind this is usually 2.00/3.00 am. This is not like him at all as he always tells me I do too much and need to rest more, so this change in him is hard to cope with. I have always been such a patient and capable person but I find that this lack of sleep is driving me to despair. As we were not blessed with children and all our other family live hours away, I am completely alone trying to deal with something I have never experienced before. Any help or advice, no matter how small, would be very very appreciated. Thank you in advance and thank you for being there. Kindest wishes.......Pat
 

stanleypj

Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
10,708
North West
Hello Pat. Welcome to TP. I'm so sorry to hear about what has brought you here. Sleep deprivation is very difficult to cope with even for someone leading a 'normal' life (as opposed to the life of a carer) and it can't be doing your Tony much good either.

Have you had an opportunity to discuss this with your GP or whoever diagnosed the dementia? It's possible that some medication would help Tony to get back to a better sleep pattern, though many of us are wary about medication for a person with dementia.

Do you know about the Admiral Nurses?:

https://www.dementiauk.org/how-we-help/admiral-nursing-direct/

The link tells you about the direct phoneline but you may be lucky enough to have one based near you. You can find out in the website. Most people find talking to an Admiral Nurse very helpful indeed.
 

hollydar

Registered User
Dec 17, 2015
9
Thank you

Thank you so much for all the information you have given me. I will look into these links. I do feel that as Tony is on so many meds ,for various other health issues, I wouldn't want to add more, unless absolutely necessary. I feel so much better to have found you all as I have felt so alone with the problem so far. Kindest regards.....Pat
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
4,771
Salford
Hi Pat, welcome to TP
The sleep deprivation is an absolute nightmare I can't remember the last time I got more than about 4 hours uninterrupted sleep and even when you get so tired nothing wakes you up...something always does. You have my sympathy.
K
 

strugling

Registered User
Dec 19, 2015
2
hi and thank you

my dad has alzheimers, he was diagnosed about 18 months ago, although I think he has had it for a while, we just didn't recognise it, he has tried to kill himself and still regularly says he wants to die. Hes in hospital at the moment and they have told us he needs to go into a care home as mum wont be able to look after him. I feel so guilty and such a failure. He wants to go home, and he refuses to admit there is anything wrong, apart from he says he cant cope. We want him to go home, we want him not to have alzheimers. All of which I know we are not going to get.

I found this forum while looking for a fund raising event and am really glad I did as I have read a couple of threads and just started crying cos I could relate to them, and then I realised that I haven't really cried over my dad apart from when he tried to kill himself and perhaps this forum can be my place to come and say the things I cant say to anyone else, does that make sense?
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,161
Yorkshire
Morning strugling
a warm welcome to TP
you're absolutely right - this forum is a godsend to me and many others - so I'm sorry you have the need to post but so glad you found us - write whatever and whenever, there'll be plenty of sympathy and information in response

your family has been through a tough time and in no way are any of you failures - you're standing by your dad - so please, no guilt
maybe think instead of him 'refusing to admit' there's anything wrong, that actually and sadly, now his brain is compromised so that he is no longer capable of grasping what is going on with him - I found that when I changed my thinking, I could accept myself that my dad's changes in behaviour were because of the disease/dementia and so he had no control over them - so now I can howl at the disease not at my dad

read a lot here and post as often as you like :)
 
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Shiese

Registered User
Dec 19, 2015
1
Shiese

Hi I have a mum that is 83 and has been diagnosed with dementia for just over a year things seem to be getting worse quite quickly and I often feel a lot of guilt as I struggle to cope with it all I am looking for support and advice when I need it
 

nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
8,783
leicester
Hi Shiese

Welcome to TP, but so sorry circumstances made it necessary, I'm sure you will get much support here and that we can answer some of your questions.

Please keep posting so we can all help.
 

strugling

Registered User
Dec 19, 2015
2
Morning strugling
a warm welcome to TP
you're absolutely right - this forum is a godsend to me and many others - so I'm sorry you have the need to post but so glad you found us - write whatever and whenever, there'll be plenty of sympathy and information in response

your family has been through a tough time and in no way are any of you failures - you're standing by your dad - so please, no guilt
maybe think instead of him 'refusing to admit' there's anything wrong, that actually and sadly, now his brain is compromised so that he is no longer capable of grasping what is going on with him - I found that when I changed my thinking, I could accept myself that my dad's changes in behaviour were because of the disease/dementia and so he had no control over them - so now I can howl at the disease not at my dad

read a lot here and post as often as you like :)
Thanks Shedrech, yes I think you are right it is more that he cant make sense of what is going on, and to be honest neither can I most of the time because I put my logic on what he does and say and I know that really hes not living with my logic now, I just want him to be happy and content and I'm not sure if he will be again.

But I think this forum will help, so thanks again.
 
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