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Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by KatherineW, Jul 22, 2013.

  1. Nov

    Nov New member

    Dec 1, 2017
    1
    My 91 yr old father has dementia and my mother is his carer, they have been married 66 yrs but he has told her he wants her out the Home. He tells people she is his carer and he is getting rid of her. It is obviously upsetting her and we don’t know where to turn. Any advice
     
  2. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,717
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to TP, @Nov.
    Have you tried Social Services or the National Dementia Helpline. The link to Alzheimers Society is in the top right of the page. Sorry, wish I had better advice.
     
  3. julieL

    julieL New member

    Dec 2, 2017
    1
    hello i am looking for help please.my mum as this illness shes in a care home do anyone know if she can get anyhelp with money she is selffunding and i am the lpa .my mum got a house and we dont know what we can do
     
  4. Tlewis

    Tlewis New member

    Dec 3, 2017
    2
    Hi I’m Tracey !!! Thanks you for allowing me to join the forum. My dad I was diagnosed with dementia 6 yrs ago. Mum has looked after him for all that time until recently when he had a fall. He is still currently in hospital. Luckily he didn’t sustain an breakages from the fall but he has gone into decline. He’s now not eating / walking or using the toilet, now classed as incontinent. - he was able at home before the fall. He had a mild kidney infection which the doctors have treated him for, but now they have decided there’s nothing more they can do for him. Mum went to to see him Friday and he’s had been dumped in a discharge ward !! No name above his bed, just left like a piece of rubbish !! His social worker will be calling to see him Friday and hopefully we can get him moved to a card home !! Today I don’t know who or what I’m angry at the most - thank you for listening. Hope it’s ok to vent like this on my first visit x
     
  5. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,041
    Merseyside
    Welcome to TP

    Does your mum claim Attendance Allowance?
     
  6. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,041
    Merseyside
    Welcome to TP

    Of course it’s ok to vent. You’ll get lots of support here.
     
  7. Tlewis

    Tlewis New member

    Dec 3, 2017
    2
    Thank you
     
  8. DaisyCat

    DaisyCat Registered User

    Dec 2, 2017
    70
    Female
    Hi, this is my first foray into online forums. My husband has dementia, he was diagnosed about three years ago but won't tell anyone. I haven't told anyone either and feel disloyal right now.
     
  9. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,738
    Yorkshire
    hello @DaisyCat
    a warm welcome to TP
    I am so glad that you have joined this wonderfully supportive community as after 3 years being unable to talk with anyone you probably feel isolated and that the whole responsibility for holding everyday life together rests only on your shoulders
    now you will be able to chat with the folk here who are generous with their support, sympathy and in sharing their experiences - we are all living with dementia in our lives in some form, so we understand
    you aren't being disloyal - you need support from others, we all do - your husband may be surprised at how others react to his diagnosis as there is so much more awareness now in the wider community - and, to be blunt, your needs are just as important as his and you have a right to discuss your own situation and get help
    what ever is on your mind, at any time, just start a thread of your own and members will respond
    maybe here
    https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-have-a-partner-with-dementia.69/
    just press the blue 'Post a New Thread' button, give your thread a clear title so folk know what it's about, and post away
     
  10. Greeny123

    Greeny123 New member

    Dec 4, 2017
    1
    Hello, I have both parents, living in their own home. Mum has been diagnosed with Vascular dementia and am just gathering strength to get Dad diagnosed. The problem I have is the violent domestics they are currently having. Most of the time they just bicker (not much change throughout their married life) but now they seem to hate each other and shout and threaten each other. This is so distressing to watch and no doubt to them at the time (but then they forget about it after calling me to intervene) the impact on me and my sister is huge. Any tips to cope? I've resorted to putting them into separate rooms (to watch different Tv programmes!!) to calm down. Thank you.
     
  11. Trapisha

    Trapisha Registered User

    Nov 28, 2017
    135
    Hi I'm new to this also don't even know if I'm posing on right page but here goes
    i have already posted a couple of posts didn't realize you should introduce yourself
    first sorry. I am 65 and my mom has just been diagnosed with mixed dementia AD
    and vascular I've known for about three years something was wrong however when
    she had a fall and broke her wrist thats when tests began and carer twice a day
    kicked in. I've been going through anxiety ant panic attacks since we are very
    close and the thought of her having this awful disease has devastated me. Ive had to start medication to help me through and it has calmed me down although the sadness remains
    mom is 86 so i know its not young but still so hard to deal with.Hello to you all xx
     
  12. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,216
    Female
    Dundee
    Hi @Trapisha and welcome to Talking Point. It's not compulsory to introduce yourself here but lots of folks do!

    I'm sorry to hear about your panic attacks. As you say this awful disease is devastating. I'm glad you're sharing how you feel on the forum and hope it helps a little.

    You might want to consider starting your own thread. I know I found that useful as all my concerns, questions and rants were in the one place and it was easy to find people's replies. If you want to do this just click on this link to the I Care For A Person With Dementia area and you will see the blue button which says 'Post New Thread'. Just click on that and you're off. Again - it's up to you. Just post as you feel happy with.
     
  13. Trapisha

    Trapisha Registered User

    Nov 28, 2017
    135

    Hi Izzy

    Thank you for the information. I would like to create my own thread and yes it does
    help to write down how you feel as all my friends moms are fine and it helps to know
    your not on your own as i often think i am. Thanks again xx
     
  14. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,216
    Female
    Dundee
    Looking forward to seeing you around!

    Edit - just a thought - you might like to have a look at the Tea Room if you haven't already. There's some lighthearted stuff there - https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/tea-room.44/
     
  15. DaisyCat

    DaisyCat Registered User

    Dec 2, 2017
    70
    Female
    Thank you for your lovely welcome!
     
  16. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,041
    Merseyside
    @Greeny123 welcome to TP

    You may find this thread useful https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/
     
  17. Ruth 4chrystal

    Ruth 4chrystal New member

    Dec 7, 2017
    3
    Female
    south uk
    HI i am the carer to my dad he was diagnosed in August with vascular dementia.
    so this is still all new even though caring is nothing new to me i carered for my mum for 16 years and now i have been a carer for my husband now i am also a carer for dad so i am a double carer.
    I am also disabled myself.
     
  18. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,738
    Yorkshire
    hello @Ruth 4chrystal
    a warm welcome to TP
    you have so much to deal with, how on earth do you cope?
    I'm glad you found this site, the members are wonderfully supportive, so although we can't physically help you, we can help by offering sympathy and sharing experiences
    when you feel ready, start a thread of your own with whatever is on your mind and folk will respond
     
  19. Ruth 4chrystal

    Ruth 4chrystal New member

    Dec 7, 2017
    3
    Female
    south uk
    thank you went to the Chichester meting today they told us about you.
    be good to have someone to talk to . i think im going to need a lot of help this time all i seam to be doing is fill in forms but getting no where. today they were in a panic that i must fill in for this carers card as im not to well. lol she told me if i would not fill it in she would .
    should of told her to see how far she got lol with no info.
    And of coarse that again is something else i cant just do on line like every one else as i have two not just one cares info to go on my card.
    so i have got to find two lots of info then find the phone number then phone them.
     
  20. Tany@

    Tany@ New member

    Dec 8, 2017
    1
    Hi everyone, I have a 73 year old mum with mixed Vascular and Alzheimer's dementia. I feel lucky to be one of 6 children, however my mum is showing signs of deterioration, she lives alone but has a family member there 24/7. She is unable to carry out any daily living tasks independently, but is walking and eating well. She recognises us as children but forgets names. A few times she has forgotten how to speak. Some of my siblings are not coping emotionally so we have less of a support network than originally intended, and we are trying to keep her in her own home. We have been reluctant to request help as she gets so agitated and aggressive when she sees unfamiliar faces. I wrote more than I intended for this introduction! But happy to have found the site as relating to some of the stories brings a sense of kinship xx
     
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