Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by Mark_W, Sep 21, 2018.

  1. karaokePete

    karaokePete Volunteer Host

    Jul 23, 2017
    3,045
    Male
    N Ireland
    Hello @Sue_PCB welcome to the forum.

    You have come to the right place for understanding, information and support so feel free to look around and ask any question you may have
     
  2. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,512
    Welcome here, sweetheart, you will find friends here. I find this a life saver. Of course you are broken hearted, angry and lonely. You have us now. This is a very tough time. On this forum we see each other through.
    with warmest wishes, Kindred.
     
  3. karaokePete

    karaokePete Volunteer Host

    Jul 23, 2017
    3,045
    Male
    N Ireland
  4. Wilcaws56

    Wilcaws56 New member

    Oct 10, 2018
    1
    Thanks for the great welcome to the forum I am currently caring for my elderly mother and have always had a good positive relationship and best of friends but however recently the condition has taken a turn darker with a vitriolic temper and abusive nature which is so out of character. I guess it was the stage of the condition I was aware of and dreaded. I have been a teacher and carer for over 25 years and felt I would be well equipped with the skills to help me through this stage,, how wrong I was everyday is a new lesson learnt..look forward to feedback from other kind folk on the forum
     
  5. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    4,744
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to TP, @Wilcaws56. I'm sorry your mum's condition has so badly affected your relationship with her. Others can advise better on medication to help control your mum's temper, and you definitely need to speak to her GP if she will consent.
     
  6. Jimmy67

    Jimmy67 New member

    Oct 9, 2018
    1
    Hello my name is Jim I have recently been diagnosed with dementia
     
  7. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    4,744
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to TP Jim. You will get plenty of support from people going through the same, and from carers who understand.
     
  8. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    7,755
    leicester
  9. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    7,755
    leicester
    Hello @Jimmy67 welcome to TP

    This is a friendly supportive forum so I hope now you have found us you will continue to post so we can support you.
     
  10. BigTig

    BigTig New member

    Oct 12, 2018
    3
    Hello. My dear husband is now in residential care with vascular dementia. I have recurrent periods of depression as a result of bi-polar disorder. Rather than finding his care a relief, I am now encountering deep feelings of guilt and grief. Thankfully Alan seems to be reasonably settled, though still sakes why he can’t come home with me. I love my husband dearly, and believe that I have done the best thing for him, but the guilt’s still there. I feel as if I’m trying to play God. I’m not good at asking for help, so it’s taken a while to join a group of any kind. My love goes to all who are travelling a similar journey.
     
  11. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    4,744
    Male
    Bristol
    Hullo and welcome to TP, @BigTig. You will find plenty of fellow feeling on here, I have had my own fights with depression over the years, and grief or anticipatory grief is normal as is guilt. You have done the right thing if you are unable to cope and your husband will get the care he needs. Please keep posting on "I have a partner with dementia". Best wishes, R.
     
  12. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    7,190
    Female
    South coast
    Hello @BigTig and welcome to Talking Point
    Im sorry that you are feeling so guilty, but it is a common theme after someone moves into a care home. What you are describing is a form of grief - this is an end of an era and it will take a while for you to udjust, just like it will take your husband a while to adjust. You know that it is for the best, but it needs to get from your head to your heart.

    Just because he is in a care home it doesnt mean that you will have stopped caring - it will just be in a different way. You are now his advocate giving him a voice, making sure that he is OK, reporting problems to the staff, checking his laundry, managing his finance etc etc. After a while I found the carers, other residents and their families became like a big extended family
     
  13. karaokePete

    karaokePete Volunteer Host

    Jul 23, 2017
    3,045
    Male
    N Ireland
    Hello @BigTig, welcome to the forum from me too.

    I look forward to seeing your future posts.
     
  14. Hell

    Hell New member

    Sep 19, 2018
    1
    Hi my name Helen, my mum has dementia she is 84 years young, she lives in Wales with my dad. L live in Swindon , which is two and half hours away. And finding it so heard being so fur away .
     
  15. karaokePete

    karaokePete Volunteer Host

    Jul 23, 2017
    3,045
    Male
    N Ireland
    Hello @Hell, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

    Do take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in your parent's area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

    You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc.
     
  16. Xmanc

    Xmanc New member

    Oct 13, 2018
    1
    Hi, I have joined because my partner has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and I am sometimes at a loss as to how deal with certain situations and hope someone can give me ideas on how I might cope.
     
  17. karaokePete

    karaokePete Volunteer Host

    Jul 23, 2017
    3,045
    Male
    N Ireland
    Hello @Xmanc, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

    Do take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

    You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc.

    Do feel free to join in on the sub forums and threads as I well remember the initial shock and grief of my wife's diagnosis. It's normal to feel at a loss but the members here are great for support.
     
  18. Here we go agai

    Here we go agai Registered User

    Jan 7, 2017
    3
    Female
    Leicester
    Hi.

    My Dad has just turned 92 and is now in a small residental home near me.
    He has started to display aggressive behaviour in the afternoons and we believe this is sundowning.
    However last week he was like this for 2 whole days and had to be given diazepam.
    Is this latter stage ??
     
  19. karaokePete

    karaokePete Volunteer Host

    Jul 23, 2017
    3,045
    Male
    N Ireland
    Hello @Here we go agai. This could be something like an infection such as a UTI. Has your Dad been checked for an infection.

    Sundowning itself wouldn't necessarily indicate late stages.

    This link will take you to a Factsheet about changes in behaviour.

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/media/1096
     
  20. Tassie

    Tassie Registered User

    Jul 13, 2017
    18
    Female
    Durham
     

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