Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

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karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,084
N Ireland
Hello @Sue_PCB welcome to the forum.

You have come to the right place for understanding, information and support so feel free to look around and ask any question you may have
 

kindred

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
2,338
Hi - thank you for accepting me. My husband aged 60 has just been diagnosed with fontotemporal dementia. At the moment I am broken hearted, angry and frightened. I have no specific questions at the moment but I know the road ahead if going to be tough and lonely. I just wanted to find people who understand and can perhaps help with advice in the future.Thank you
Welcome here, sweetheart, you will find friends here. I find this a life saver. Of course you are broken hearted, angry and lonely. You have us now. This is a very tough time. On this forum we see each other through.
with warmest wishes, Kindred.
 

Wilcaws56

New member
Oct 10, 2018
1
Thanks for the great welcome to the forum I am currently caring for my elderly mother and have always had a good positive relationship and best of friends but however recently the condition has taken a turn darker with a vitriolic temper and abusive nature which is so out of character. I guess it was the stage of the condition I was aware of and dreaded. I have been a teacher and carer for over 25 years and felt I would be well equipped with the skills to help me through this stage,, how wrong I was everyday is a new lesson learnt..look forward to feedback from other kind folk on the forum
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
6,346
Bristol
Welcome to TP, @Wilcaws56. I'm sorry your mum's condition has so badly affected your relationship with her. Others can advise better on medication to help control your mum's temper, and you definitely need to speak to her GP if she will consent.
 

BigTig

New member
Oct 12, 2018
3
Hello. My dear husband is now in residential care with vascular dementia. I have recurrent periods of depression as a result of bi-polar disorder. Rather than finding his care a relief, I am now encountering deep feelings of guilt and grief. Thankfully Alan seems to be reasonably settled, though still sakes why he can’t come home with me. I love my husband dearly, and believe that I have done the best thing for him, but the guilt’s still there. I feel as if I’m trying to play God. I’m not good at asking for help, so it’s taken a while to join a group of any kind. My love goes to all who are travelling a similar journey.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
6,346
Bristol
Hullo and welcome to TP, @BigTig. You will find plenty of fellow feeling on here, I have had my own fights with depression over the years, and grief or anticipatory grief is normal as is guilt. You have done the right thing if you are unable to cope and your husband will get the care he needs. Please keep posting on "I have a partner with dementia". Best wishes, R.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,306
South coast
Hello @BigTig and welcome to Talking Point
Im sorry that you are feeling so guilty, but it is a common theme after someone moves into a care home. What you are describing is a form of grief - this is an end of an era and it will take a while for you to udjust, just like it will take your husband a while to adjust. You know that it is for the best, but it needs to get from your head to your heart.

Just because he is in a care home it doesnt mean that you will have stopped caring - it will just be in a different way. You are now his advocate giving him a voice, making sure that he is OK, reporting problems to the staff, checking his laundry, managing his finance etc etc. After a while I found the carers, other residents and their families became like a big extended family
 

Hell

New member
Sep 19, 2018
1
Hi my name Helen, my mum has dementia she is 84 years young, she lives in Wales with my dad. L live in Swindon , which is two and half hours away. And finding it so heard being so fur away .
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,084
N Ireland
Hi my name Helen, my mum has dementia she is 84 years young, she lives in Wales with my dad. L live in Swindon , which is two and half hours away. And finding it so heard being so fur away .
Hello @Hell, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

Do take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in your parent's area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc.
 

Xmanc

New member
Oct 13, 2018
1
Hi, I have joined because my partner has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and I am sometimes at a loss as to how deal with certain situations and hope someone can give me ideas on how I might cope.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,084
N Ireland
Hi, I have joined because my partner has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and I am sometimes at a loss as to how deal with certain situations and hope someone can give me ideas on how I might cope.
Hello @Xmanc, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

Do take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc.

Do feel free to join in on the sub forums and threads as I well remember the initial shock and grief of my wife's diagnosis. It's normal to feel at a loss but the members here are great for support.
 

Here we go agai

Registered User
Jan 7, 2017
3
Leicester
Hi.

My Dad has just turned 92 and is now in a small residental home near me.
He has started to display aggressive behaviour in the afternoons and we believe this is sundowning.
However last week he was like this for 2 whole days and had to be given diazepam.
Is this latter stage ??
 

Tassie

Registered User
Jul 13, 2017
18
Durham
Hi, I have been reading this site for about 14 Months. I don't use social network so I have never posted anything. Please forgive me for any mistakes I make now or in the future!!! My Mum was diagnosed with moderate dementia 14 months ago. The whole thing has been a nightmare. I have felt responsible for my Mum and her many medical issues for 35 years but this dementia thing is a whole new ballgame!!!! I'm tired, drained, confused and finding help is really hard to find. I guess, right now, we are at crisis point and a care home is the only option. She has been living alone with carer visits three times a day. At the moment she is in hospital until I, along with some of my family, can find a care home suitable for her. This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. Unfortunately my family is not very forthcoming with help. Most of it is left for me to deal with. I have pretty much stumbled along trying to sort things but finding there is no guidance by authorities. They seem to assume you know exactly what to do.
 
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