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Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

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Mark_W

Registered User
Sep 28, 2015
4,036
London
Welcome to Talking Point :)

This thread is for all our new members to say hello and tell us a little bit about yourself. For example, about your connection to dementia and your reasons for joining.

Just click on the blue "Reply to Thread" button above this post, type your message and click the blue "Post Reply" button to make your first post.

If you've got questions about how to use Talking Point click on these links below.
  • You can find answers to frequently asked questions here.
  • Our Help videos will show you how to navigate the different areas of Talking Point.
  • We also have a Quick Guide explaining how to use Talking Point including logging in, posting, replying, checking private messages and searching.
  • Also we recommend having a read through our Guidelines which are some useful tips and things to remember when posting.
If you just want to know how to post your own thread please read on.

Posting on a small screen
(Click on the images to enlarge them)

Firstly click this link to see a list of our forums: https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk

Then scroll down and chose the most appropriate forum by clicking on it's name.

Forum List Mobile.PNG

When you're in a forum, click on the blue "Post New Thread" button.

Forums Mobile.png

Then, type a title, add your message and click 'Create Thread'.

Post New Thread Mobile.png

Posting on a big screen
(Click on the images to enlarge them)

Firstly click this link to see a list of our forums: https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk

Then scroll down and chose the most appropriate forum by clicking on it's name.

Forum List.png

When you're in a forum, click on the blue "Post New Thread" button.

Forums.png

Then, type a title, add your message and click 'Create Thread'.

Post New Thread.png

If you have any questions about using the forum, please don't hesitate to contact the Talking Point team as we're here to help.

We hope you find Talking Point helpful.
 
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RachH

New member
Sep 21, 2018
3
Hi, my Dad has vascular dementia which he has had for 12 years. He lived at.home with Mum up til 3 years ago when she became terminally ill. He has been in full time care for all this time, and recently moved to a specialist dementia home from one that was an adults with mental health problems.
He has lots of challenging behaviours and can be verbally and physically so....He isn't mobile now but sure can be difficult. I have grieved my Dad as he was but I am finding it hard been so responsible (we have an old finance only POA) and I find it hard to talk to family about my Dad.
I think I need online friends to perhaps open up about my feelings xx
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,567
N Ireland
Hi, my Dad has vascular dementia which he has had for 12 years. He lived at.home with Mum up til 3 years ago when she became terminally ill. He has been in full time care for all this time, and recently moved to a specialist dementia home from one that was an adults with mental health problems.
He has lots of challenging behaviours and can be verbally and physically so....He isn't mobile now but sure can be difficult. I have grieved my Dad as he was but I am finding it hard been so responsible (we have an old finance only POA) and I find it hard to talk to family about my Dad.
I think I need online friends to perhaps open up about my feelings xx
Hello and welcome to the forum @RachH, you are welcome here.

Now that you have found us I hope you continue to post as you will get support here from people who understand.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,166
Yorkshire
hi @RachH
a warm welcome to TP which is just the right place to come to to chat with folk who understand - many here will recognise the feelings you describe
so settle in, have a mooch around and start your own thread when you're ready
 

Chaos

New member
Sep 21, 2018
2
Hi I have a sister with dementia in NE Lincs and have employed a few care organisations over the last few years but they don’t provide the quality of care l would like for my sister.

Personal hygiene has become an issue and she is left all day in her dressing gown because her default answer to questions about about showering, cleaning her teeth are and being taken out is always no. The care organisations say they can’t force her and I wouldn’t want that but there are ways to encourage her.

Can anyone give me advice about how to get good care for her in that area

Regards Chaos
 

Sumkat

New member
Sep 21, 2018
1
Hi my grandad was diagnosed with vascular dementia three years ago he has been fine living at home with my nan but she suddenly passed away something that was a shock to us all I’m now concerned for my grandad the shock and change in his daily routine has made me see that my Grandad’s not going to cope looking after himself but he does not seem to see a problem himself. I have just come onto this site to see other people’s experiences and how they deal with different situations regarding caring and supporting for a family member in their own home xx
 

clarinuts

New member
Sep 17, 2018
2
My dad has Alzheimer’s, he was diagnosed in January this year and things have progressed quite quickly, unfortunately he is very aggressive both verbally and physically and paranoid. It’s awful to see him so distressed and being unable to reassure him. He is in a lovely care home at the moment but will not settle , he is there under guardianship after he was sectioned at the end of May. He is fighting against everything and I am so worried that he won’t be able to stay where he is and will end up somewhere a lot worse.
 

Ollybear

Registered User
Mar 8, 2018
18
Hi everyone, My mother has Vascular Dementia. She is bed bound. She is still in her own home. She needs constant support with all personal care, needs moving regularly to prevent bed sores and requires soft food now and needs support to feed and drink. I love my mum so much but it hurts so, so much seeing her like this. I cry every time I see her, but she doesn't recognise or relate to this emotion.
 

Ollybear

Registered User
Mar 8, 2018
18
Hi I have a sister with dementia in NE Lincs and have employed a few care organisations over the last few years but they don’t provide the quality of care l would like for my sister.

Personal hygiene has become an issue and she is left all day in her dressing gown because her default answer to questions about about showering, cleaning her teeth are and being taken out is always no. The care organisations say they can’t force her and I wouldn’t want that but there are ways to encourage her.

Can anyone give me advice about how to get good care for her in that area

Regards Chaos
Hi I have a sister with dementia in NE Lincs and have employed a few care organisations over the last few years but they don’t provide the quality of care l would like for my sister.

Personal hygiene has become an issue and she is left all day in her dressing gown because her default answer to questions about about showering, cleaning her teeth are and being taken out is always no. The care organisations say they can’t force her and I wouldn’t want that but there are ways to encourage her.

Can anyone give me advice about how to get good care for her in that area

Regards Chaos
 

Ollybear

Registered User
Mar 8, 2018
18
Hi, I know the carers to your sister are right, in a sense regarding the matter of "choice", but this really is a gray area. A similar situation happened with my mum. What is the main concern here is, like you suggested, encouragement: Your sister has dementia. Where is the initial needs assessment for your sister? Is this assessment completely thorough and to the correct level? It does appear that no encouragement or, assisted encouragement is taking place. This situation happened with my mum, who was left for 6 hrs, would have been more if I had not seen her. She was left in bed, soaked through with urine and poo. She also had a urine infection. My mum also said no (without any encouragement) from this horrendous, so called carer. The initial needs led assessment failed to note mum was diabetic, had hearing problems, heart problems as well as dementia. I tried to contact the Caring Agency, but as usual no reply. I contacted Emergency Social Services and put a massive complaint about this Agency. This was severe neglect. You must contact a social worker asap. Your sister could become poorly if her personal care is not being met. Write down now communications and responses with this agency. This situation needs to be examined asap. Personal Care is one of our basic needs.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,517
Kent

lindsmat

New member
Sep 23, 2018
1
Hi, my mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimers. When she was diagnosed they said she was in the moderate to severe stage, although that was over a year ago now. She doesn't live near me, but my brother lives with her and my sister lives not far from her. We don't really know what next step to make as we have been going to people with advice,but she is denying she has anything wrong. She refused to take any meds, and only keeps saying she has a bad memory. Now lately she has started having incontinence. She wont let anyone come in and help her so is it time for us to talk about going into a care home. We really don't know what els to do as she refused all help. Would appreciate any advice from anyone on here.thankyou
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,567
N Ireland
Hello and welcome @lindsmat .

I wonder if your family may find and local support services of some use. You can do a post code check to see what's available to you by following this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

The full list of the very informative Factsheets can be found with this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

If communicating with your mother becomes an issue for you a few handy tips can be picked from the useful thread that can be reached with this link https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/
 

RachH

New member
Sep 21, 2018
3
hi @RachH
a warm welcome to TP which is just the right place to come to to chat with folk who understand - many here will recognise the feelings you describe
so settle in, have a mooch around and start your own thread when you're ready
 

Ollybear

Registered User
Mar 8, 2018
18
Hi,
I replied to you on Friday? I do apologize, I have read your 'thread' again, I thought you were talking about Personal Care concerning your sister and not Personal Hygiene. However, the 'encouragement' from the carers still applies. Although it is a difficult one. But, I still think you need to address the original needs assessment from the carers (establishment). Then you should speak to the manager and address this important issue regarding your sister.

There are many ways to work with your sister to regain Personal Hygiene.
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,835
Hi, my Dad has vascular dementia which he has had for 12 years. He lived at.home with Mum up til 3 years ago when she became terminally ill. He has been in full time care for all this time, and recently moved to a specialist dementia home from one that was an adults with mental health problems.
He has lots of challenging behaviours and can be verbally and physically so....He isn't mobile now but sure can be difficult. I have grieved my Dad as he was but I am finding it hard been so responsible (we have an old finance only POA) and I find it hard to talk to family about my Dad.
I think I need online friends to perhaps open up about my feelings xx
Hi, my Dad has vascular dementia which he has had for 12 years. He lived at.home with Mum up til 3 years ago when she became terminally ill. He has been in full time care for all this time, and recently moved to a specialist dementia home from one that was an adults with mental health problems.
He has lots of challenging behaviours and can be verbally and physically so....He isn't mobile now but sure can be difficult. I have grieved my Dad as he was but I am finding it hard been so responsible (we have an old finance only POA) and I find it hard to talk to family about my Dad.
I think I need online friends to perhaps open up about my feelings xx
You will find support here, on Talking Point.
 

Harven

New member
Jan 12, 2018
2
Hi, I have been reading this site for about 14 Months. I don't use social network so I have never posted anything. Please forgive me for any mistakes I make now or in the future!!! My Mum was diagnosed with moderate dementia 14 months ago. The whole thing has been a nightmare. I have felt responsible for my Mum and her many medical issues for 35 years but this dementia thing is a whole new ballgame!!!! I'm tired, drained, confused and finding help is really hard to find. I guess, right now, we are at crisis point and a care home is the only option. She has been living alone with carer visits three times a day. At the moment she is in hospital until I, along with some of my family, can find a care home suitable for her. This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. Unfortunately my family is not very forthcoming with help. Most of it is left for me to deal with. I have pretty much stumbled along trying to sort things but finding there is no guidance by authorities. They seem to assume you know exactly what to do.
 
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