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[fluffydog]

Hi I am Fluffydog and have not been on the forum for some time , however my husband has had dementia for nearly 5 years .
Things had not been too bad he was on Domezaple but has now been on Mementine for three weeks and has gone quite confused short term memory bad!!!
Has anyone else notice the same?
I have had to cancel a holiday today as i just could not go through a week living somewhere else with him the way he is , I feel so selfish about it.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @fluffydog, welcome back again.

Confusion is listed as a side effect on the information leaflet for Memantine so I would suggest it's best to mention this to the doctor. It could be that it doesn't suit your husband.

 

[Wifenotcarer]

Hi, this is my first contact and I would appreciate any advice or thoughts please.



Another main issue is that she constantly thinks that there are other people in the house & that they are wearing her clothes, using the toilet etc. She gets really very angry & upset about this and she is now obsessed with washing clothes & cleanliness, especially after using the toilet and now hides everything and takes clothes to be beside the bed at night.


Thank you.

This section of your post immediately rang a bell. My PWD kept seeing his father (who died 24 years ago) in our house, particularly in the bedroom and hall way. Eventually the penny dropped that these two rooms had full length mirrors and what he was seeing was his own reflection which he saw OK but interpreted as an old man who must therefore be his father, just as he often thinks I am his Mother because I look old and white haired, whereas his much loved wife is in his mind's eye still young and beautiful.

I wonder if your Mum is also seeing or catching glimpses of herself in mirrors but being unable to recognise these as herself, even though they are wearing her clothes? Maybe try removing or covering up the mirrors and see if that helps?

 

[fluffydog]

Hello @fluffydog, welcome back again.

Confusion is listed as a side effect on the information leaflet for Memantine so I would suggest it's best to mention this to the doctor. It could be that it doesn't suit your husband.

Thanks I think you may be right ,he has been on Memantine for 3 weeks I dont know if things will improve with the full dose, it seems just trial and error,and what do you do for the best,

 

[Lemondrizzle]

Hello. I have been reading TP for a while and learned so much. Thank you all for sharing your experiences. I help care for my MIL who was diagnosed with Alzheimers 6 years ago. She still lives in her own home with support from us and carer visits. My husband's family have all but abandoned us to it, except to offer criticism or silly ideas because we don't meet their standards and they simply do not understand the progression of the illness. This year hasn't been the best healthwise for myself or my husband adding to the strains. We are doing our best to balance our lives against MIL's needs so try to get out and about as much as we can as I am still working full time so do get very tired. I do currently have a dilema which I will post about separately.

 

[Izzy]

Hi @Lemondrizzle and welcome to the forum. I'm glad you've found us.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I'm glad you're going to post about your specific concern. I'm sure you'll get lotsif help and support.

 

[Worthabite]

Hi all
My mum has been suffering from Alzheimer's for at least five years and after a number of spells in hospital due to a broken pelvis and broken hip is now in a private nursing home. She has been there for 20 months. Until recently we have been able to take mum out in a wheelchair and she has really benefitted from getthing out and about. This is now not possible due to her declining health. She is now very fragile and unable to stand or raise her head. In bed most of the time. We are finding ths situation hard to cope with.

 

[Cat27]

Hi all
My mum has been suffering from Alzheimer's for at least five years and after a number of spells in hospital due to a broken pelvis and broken hip is now in a private nursing home. She has been there for 20 months. Until recently we have been able to take mum out in a wheelchair and she has really benefitted from getthing out and about. This is now not possible due to her declining health. She is now very fragile and unable to stand or raise her head. In bed most of the time. We are finding ths situation hard to cope with.

Welcome to TP @Worthabite.
It’s very hard watching someone we love get frailer.
Keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Worthabite, welcome to TP from me too. I hope you find the forum a friendly and supportive place as that's how I found it when I first came to the site after my wife's diagnosis.

Dementia is an emotional rollercoaster and it can get hard to cope with it at times. I have shed many a lonely tear when sitting alone late at night. Do keep posting here for support but don't be afraid to turn to your GP for help as I know many members have found counselling very useful.

 

[Worthabite]

Welcome to TP @Worthabite.
It’s very hard watching someone we love get frailer.
Keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.

Thank you very much. I'm glad to have got in touch.

 

[Worthabite]

Hello @Worthabite, welcome to TP from me too. I hope you find the forum a friendly and supportive place as that's how I found it when I first came to the site after my wife's diagnosis.

Dementia is an emotional rollercoaster and it can get hard to cope with it at times. I have shed many a lonely tear when sitting alone late at night. Do keep posting here for support but don't be afraid to turn to your GP for help as I know many members have found counselling very useful.

Thank you very much. Haven't thought of approaching my GP for myself.

 

[Clonk59]

Hi
Just to introduce myself and hope I can get and give support to other members in the future. l am slowly going out of my mind trying to deal with my father who has a diagnosis of mixed dementia. My mother died suddenly in July in difficult circumstances (not dementia) and my father finally got his dementia diagnosis 6 days later, having previously been told he only had mild memory problems. We all knew they were far from mild!! But he presented well in a consultation so was told to ‘come back in a year’. My poor mother had 7 months of hell before being taken ill. The trauma of trying to sort out a funeral and deal with my dad’s confusion has taken its toll and I actually can’t bear him near me at the moment - he is so wrapped up in himself and his needs that my feelings have been completely steamrollered. I know he’s ill but I just don’t think I’ve got the strength to carry on. Please tell me how to survive this nightmare.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Clonk59, welcome to TP. You will get support here.

You have so much going on there some support may help. You and your dad are both entitled to a needs assessment and there is an AS Factsheet that will guide you through the process. You can find it with this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites...assessment_for_care_in_support_in_england.pdf

You can also do a post code search for support services in your area if you click on this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

 

[Cat27]

Hi
Just to introduce myself and hope I can get and give support to other members in the future. l am slowly going out of my mind trying to deal with my father who has a diagnosis of mixed dementia. My mother died suddenly in July in difficult circumstances (not dementia) and my father finally got his dementia diagnosis 6 days later, having previously been told he only had mild memory problems. We all knew they were far from mild!! But he presented well in a consultation so was told to ‘come back in a year’. My poor mother had 7 months of hell before being taken ill. The trauma of trying to sort out a funeral and deal with my dad’s confusion has taken its toll and I actually can’t bear him near me at the moment - he is so wrapped up in himself and his needs that my feelings have been completely steamrollered. I know he’s ill but I just don’t think I’ve got the strength to carry on. Please tell me how to survive this nightmare.

Welcome to TP @Clonk59

I’m sorry to read about your Mum.
Re the being wrapped up in himself, lack of empathy & care is sadly very common with dementia.
You’ll get a lot of information & support here so please keep posting.

You may find this thread helpful
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/

 

[karaokePete]

BTW @Clonk59, I forgot to mention that a quick read at this thread may help with your communication with your dad. Just click on the link https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/

 

[KV63]

Hi
My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in December last year. He has been put on strong drugs which I think are slowing down some of the symptoms. He is still able to get to the supermarket (his purchases are getting more erratic even with a list) and also the tip on his own but no where else. His short term memory is poor, repeating things constantly and in denial that anything is wrong. Friends & family are sympathetic but don't really have much idea. Just need to talk to people in the same boat. Thanks for listening

 

[Cat27]

Hi
My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in December last year. He has been put on strong drugs which I think are slowing down some of the symptoms. He is still able to get to the supermarket (his purchases are getting more erratic even with a list) and also the tip on his own but no where else. His short term memory is poor, repeating things constantly and in denial that anything is wrong. Friends & family are sympathetic but don't really have much idea. Just need to talk to people in the same boat. Thanks for listening

Welcome to TP @KV63
Everyone here will understand.
You’ll get lots of support here so please keep posting.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @KV63, welcome to TP from me too.

If you want to do some reading, the AS Publications list is a good place to start and you can find that with this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

You may find it useful to see what support is available in your area and you can do a postcode check if you follow this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

 

[Roc]

Hello,my husband has vascular dementia, diagnosed about two years ago, the worst aspect has been in the decline in his mobility.He had a chest infection in April and had to be admitted to hospital, followed by a rehab hospital for a month. Since then his limited mobility has completely gone and he has to be hoisted and has carers three times a day. His mental state has also declined considerably .It has all happened very quickly and we are both struggling. I have a wry smile to myself when I hear of people with dementia wandering off ..... chance would be a fine thing! Lots of help with the memory problems on line but very little about the physical.
Any one else out there with a similar experience?

Hello!
Yes my father has it as a result of Stroke. He already had some walking issues prior, but as the dementia progresses the mobility is a lot worse. I too don't understand why dementia effects mobility but it does. As vascular dementia progresses it starts effecting more and more of the brain is the only thing I can think if. It's a slow brain death, both cognitively and physically. I eventually will see my dad in the same situation as your husband, not being able to standup and having to be lifted. It's a horrible way to go towards the end of one's life and I have great difficulty dealing with this. I'm sure you do as well. To try to deal with this I have to emotionally distance myself or try to close myself off, in otherwords trying to numb my own brain or I would be bawling all the time. I don't know any other way of handling this. Anyway I thought I would share what I am experiencing and I hope you can get through this as well. Somedays are easier than others. If you have people there to help out that's a big plus. Take care!
The Roc!

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Roc, welcome to TP. I hope you find the forum a friendly and supportive place.

Now that you have found us do take a good look around the site and ask any questions you may have or just join in with existing threads.

In relation to your comment about loss of mobility, you are correct. The loss of brain matter/function eventually leads to a situation where nerve impulses no longer get through to the muscles. People often think of this as forgetting how to walk as the muscles are fine in themselves. It isn't actually forgetting though; the signals are no longer being sent by the control centre(the brain).