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  1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Weds 28 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 28 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by Mark_W, Aug 17, 2018.

  1. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,880
    Female
    South coast
    Hello @DonnaTr and welcome to Talking Point.
    It is nice to meet you. I do hope you will find it helpful. Have a look around and feel free to join in. If there is something specific you wish to talk about then please do start a new thread. Nothing is off limits - its even good for having a rant!
     
  2. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,331
    leicester
    Hello @DonnaTr welcome to TP

    Your Mum sounds in a difficult situation at the moment I’m sure you are very worried, have you asked for a meeting with the lead doctor to see what they can tell you about your Mums prognosis?
     
  3. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,836
    N Ireland
  4. Doggy86*

    Doggy86* Registered User

    Sep 2, 2018
    51
    Islington
    Hello,

    I am new to this site, I joined because my Mum has been suffering from frontal lobe dementia for about 7 years. My brother and I look after my Mum at in her home as we don't want to put her in a care home, Mum is getting very aggressive now and we hardly recognise her as she used to be. I joined for to get information and ideas from others who are going through the same thing and how to handle different situations.
     
  5. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,836
    N Ireland
    Hello @Doggy86* you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

    I wonder if you have had a needs assessment done and in case you haven’t and you want to read up on this you can follow this link for a Factsheet about it https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites...assessment_for_care_in_support_in_england.pdf

    There is also a Factsheet about aggressive behaviour and you can find that with this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites...ctsheet_dementia_and_aggressive_behaviour.pdf

    Other Publications can be read if you follow this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

    If general communication is getting to be a problem you can read a very useful thread by following this link https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/


    If you have any specific questions you can ask by posting in this section of the forum and I’m sure you will get advice from our knowledgeable members https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-care-for-a-person-with-dementia.70/
     
  6. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    Hello Donna and welcome to TP where I am sure you will find support from fellow members. I am sorry to hear of your mum's diagnosis. You say she is currently being held in a care facility at present. Have Social Services carried out a care assessment yet? Her future placement will need to be determined and a care plan established. Did you know that, as your mum's carer, you too are entitled to a an assessment? I would urge you to accept this; you need support too - we all do. Please let us know how things go over the next few days/weeks. Just for info, my mum has vascular dementia and Alzheimer's and has been in a nursing home for almost 2.5 years. Best Wishes Jan
     
  7. DonnaTr

    DonnaTr New member

    Sep 9, 2018
    4
    My mum was sectioned a few weeks ago for 28 days because she was aggressive to my daughter. She’s on haloperidol at the moment. They said they would reassess her at the end of the 28 days.

    I’m not sure if I’ve had a care assessment as I was looking after my Mum myself at her home. I was also getting a carer in for her personal care.
     
  8. DonnaTr

    DonnaTr New member

    Sep 9, 2018
    4
    No, I haven’t done that yet. I’ll ask that tomorrow when I go and visit her. Thankyou
     
  9. SpiderEric

    SpiderEric New member

    Sep 10, 2018
    3
    Hi. I'm 24/7 carer for my dad, 90, who has vascular dementia & is bed bound and also mom, 87, who has mobility & memory issues. I've been dipping into the forums & have found them to be a great help. Sometimes it's just reassuring to know that you're not on your own in dealing with whatever life throws at you. Looking forward to being able to join in with conversations.
     
  10. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,836
    N Ireland
    You are very welcome here and I hope you find the forum a friendly and supportive place.

    I hope to see your posts in the various forums in the future. Just join in any thread as you will be welcomed and never be afraid to start your own thread if you have a question or just want to vent feelings.
     
  11. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    Hello there! Your username caught my eye as I am terrifed of spiders!! What a wuss eh? It may be good to begin your own Thread under "I care for someone with Dementia" so folks can identify with you easily.
    You are 24/7 carer for your mum and dad? My goodness - how on earth do you manage - do you have any help? That has to be tough and you have my utter respect and admiration. My own mum has been in a nursing home for two and a half years and is nearing the end. It is a dificult road we travel but this wonderful forum has brought me comfort and friendship. So, it is lovely to "meet" you and I look forward to hearing more from you. Love Jan
     
  12. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    Apologies. As @karaokePete says, you will be welcome on other threads too!
     
  13. SpiderEric

    SpiderEric New member

    Sep 10, 2018
    3
    Thanks Jan - yes, I'm 24/7! Dad has carers calling in 3 times a day, which is a great help, but mom just has me to help her.
     
  14. Chae

    Chae New member

    Sep 12, 2018
    6
    Hi
    I have joined TP today and already had some really useful links and advice from karaokepete , I didn't link my posts in , so I haven't had any other comments yet so I am trying to put the posts on now.
     
  15. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    Well I really admire you. Even with carers 3 x daily, it's a lot of hard work and your mum relies on you. You clearly love your parents very much. It's truly humbling to read this. Take care Jan x
     
  16. Tpat

    Tpat New member

    Sep 4, 2018
    2
    Hello. Thanks for accepting me into this group. My dad and MUM live in London and I live in the USA. my dad has Alzheimer’s and MUM recently got diagnosed with cancer. It’s been really tough for all of us but this forum is so informative and useful.
     
  17. Tpat

    Tpat New member

    Sep 4, 2018
    2
    My dad has Alzheimer’s and my mum is undergoing chemo. She is always so mad at dad. She can’t believe he’s actually got Alzheimer’s and thinks it’s all an act. Can anyone suggest a way of her accepting his condition? She was with dad at the doctors office when he was diagnosed 7 years ago but she still can’t accept it
     
  18. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,836
    N Ireland
    Hello @Tpat, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

    I too found it hard to accept my wife’s behaviour and felt it was some sort of act but did accept it when it was diagnosed as dementia. In my case I also asked my GP for copies of the Consultant’s reports so that I could see exactly what I was dealing with. Maybe doing that would help your mum to accept things.

    It may be that your mum’s acceptance is clouded by her concerns for her own health and perhaps it would help her if she talked to other carers. Things like memory cafes may be run in her area and these are places where both people with dementia and their carers can meet and talk, even engaging in activities and/or getting useful information. You can do a post code check for any such services in your parent’s area by following this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
     
  19. Ma May

    Ma May Registered User

    Sep 14, 2018
    17
    Female
    Bournemouth, Dorset
    Hi. Thanks for accepting me to this forum. My husband has been diagnosed with early onset dementia aged 56. He’s deteriorated quite quickly over the last 6 months or so. I was after some advice and guidance on how to explain to him about money. He’s recently had to stop working so we obviously don’t have the “free” money available. He just doesn’t seem to understand and I just don’t know how to explain it - does anyone have some suggestions?
     
  20. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,836
    N Ireland
    Hello @Ma May, welcome to the forum, which I hope you will find to be a friendly and supportive place.

    My wife is also early onset and I must confess that I have taken over finances, other than personal spending, completely as my wife has also lost the ability to understand finances. It's a common and difficult problem. There is a booklet sub-section on finances available on the site and you can read it by clicking on this link http://alzheimerweb.prod.acquia-sit...actsheets/living-with-dementia-managing-money

    I know that some people get to the stage that they hand over dummy cash or old debit cards just to keep a person happy, or provide small amounts of ready cash just to keep a person reassured. Some people also scrub the security numbers off the back of debit cards(after keeping a careful note of them) to prevent scamming etc.
     
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