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Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by Mark_W, Aug 17, 2018.

  1. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,638
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to TP, TiddyBarrat. I don't know what to suggest, but understand your frustration at the lack of support you are getting. Many people on here have mentioned using hoists, and I think one of the previous tenants in our extra care housing had one. So, your mum should be ok once the OT has done an assessment. I don't know how long that will take though.
     
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,673
    Female
    South coast
    Hello @TiddyBarratt and welcome to Talking Point

    Your mum does sound as though she is in late stages. Im afraid that the carers are right - they are not allowed to lift someone and it is going to require a hoist which the carers can use. The OT may well suggest a hospital bed and a special mattress to try and prevent the pressure sores. I would try and chase the OT up as it sounds like it is urgent that your mum gets the equipment.

    My own personal opinion is that it is very hard work looking after someone who needs hoisting at home. If you are beginning to wonder about residential care it would probably be a good idea to go and look at some. She would probably need a dementia nursing home.
     
  3. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,775
    N Ireland
  4. Belerra

    Belerra New member

    Sep 4, 2018
    2
    Female
    Belfast
    Hello everyone, I have joined as I am supporting an Aunt with Alzheimers. The official diagnosis came just over two years ago and although difficult my Aunt and our family managed without many problems.

    We are now finding things more difficult as we seem to be moving to a different stage with my Aunt resisting everything we are trying to put in place to make things safer and easier for her to stay in her own home. I hope to get some ideas and learn from others and maybe be able to offer support to others.
     
  5. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    9,804
    Merseyside
    Welcome to TP@Belerra

    I’m sure you’ll get lots of ideas & support here.
     
  6. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,775
    N Ireland
    Hello @Belerra, welcome to TP from me too. I hope you find the forum a friendly and supportive place.

    After reading your post I was left wondering if your Aunt has had a care needs assessment. In case she hasn't here's a link to the AS Factsheet about the issue https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites...assessment_for_care_in_support_in_england.pdf

    It may also be useful to check for any available support services in your Aunt's area and you can do a postcode check if you follow this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

    Now that you have joined us I do hope you keep posting.
     
  7. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,569
    Yorkshire
  8. Hope999

    Hope999 New member

    Sep 5, 2018
    5
    Hi, I've been looking for somewhere I could get support. I've been a career for my mum for so long now I've forgotten when it started. Since the death of my father it has got so much worse and I feel that I need to talk to keep my own sanity. Mum has 24/7 care from her children. I am finding that almost all of my evenings, we have the sundowner issues, mum wants to go home and no matter how hard I try there is no getting round it. Mum has always been a determined, but depressive lady sadly a glass half empty kind of girl. Dementia has completely emptied and cracked her glass, amplified the depression, removed her stop button and increased her tendencies to be nasty and to lash out at those who are trying to help her. "Going home" can last anywhere from one to seven hours, I have tried everything I can think of, distraction techniques, showing old photos, possessions, talking, not talking, routines, changing routines, removing myself from the room as often she gets quite abusive, nothing seems to help. I know that many of you will have seen this before , and I'm hoping that someone will suggest something that might help
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,920
    Kent
    Hello @Hope999 welcome.

    My husband went through sundowning every night and there was nothing I could do to distract him.

    Winter time was best , if anything could be best, when I could tell him it was too dark, too cold, too wet or too windy to go home and let's leave it till tomorrow. Believe it or not I was glad when winter came.

    I have read of people taking their people with dementia for a car ride and when they arrive home , home is accepted.

    Its late for many replies but I'm sure you'll get lots more tomorrow.
     
  10. Hope999

    Hope999 New member

    Sep 5, 2018
    5
     
  11. Hope999

    Hope999 New member

    Sep 5, 2018
    5
    Hello @Grannie G
    Thank you for your reply, we used to walk with mum but the walks got longer each time. One time we couldn't get her to come back and it became dangerous. I had thought about taking her out in the car but I'm somewhat worried that a similar thing would happen and I'd not get her out of the car, as who she really wants to see is her mum who died before I was born, but at this point I'm willing to give anything a try.
     
  12. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,920
    Kent
  13. TiddyBarratt

    TiddyBarratt New member

    Sep 3, 2018
    7
     
  14. TiddyBarratt

    TiddyBarratt New member

    Sep 3, 2018
    7
    Thank you all for your kind support its taken me a few days to work out how to reply..... sorry. i have requested a re-assessment through social services as well as the OT referral so will see...
     
  15. Scared1

    Scared1 Registered User

    Sep 8, 2018
    14
     
  16. Scared1

    Scared1 Registered User

    Sep 8, 2018
    14
    Yes i understand. I get similar from my husband thinking someone like the window cleaner is going to take things.the mood swings are difficult.can chane within a minute..his started two years ago very slowly after athe death of our best friend.. word finding is really difficult. Social disconnection is more difficult and names .. i just say oh look theres david over there.. then he can say hi david..thats a fix for that problem..but as yet i havent applied for benefits but must try and make a start.
     
  17. Scared1

    Scared1 Registered User

    Sep 8, 2018
    14
    Thank you
     
  18. Scared1

    Scared1 Registered User

    Sep 8, 2018
    14
    You need to get some help in to to give you a break..selfishness and lack of empathy is part of this dementia with some people..they cant sympathise because they font know how to .also selfishness is how the elderly act its like going back to childhood..its very hard but dont tske it to heart..hope this helps
     
  19. glasshalfempty

    glasshalfempty New member

    Aug 20, 2018
    6
    Have you made sure you have POA in place. I would see about benefits as soon as you can especially if you have POA in place already. I have noticed a huge difference in change just over the last two years between mood swings, late night confusion, very disruptive sleep patterns and all the rest. Xx
     
  20. DonnaTr

    DonnaTr New member

    Sep 9, 2018
    4
    Hello my name is Donna,

    I’ve decided to join this forum because my mum has been diagnosed as having vascular dementia. She is currently being held in a care facility. Her behaviour has got more agressive over the last few weeks which makes me think she’s had another mini stroke.
     
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