Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

[karaokePete]

Hello @Lainey1969, welcome to TP. I hope you find this a friendly, informative and supportive place.

Do take time to have a good look around the forum as it's a goldmine for information.

I found that a good place to start was just reading the past posts and then the AS Factsheets and here's a link to the Factsheets https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

If you want to search for support in your area you can do a postcode search by following this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

 

[nellbelles]

Hi @Lainey1969 and welcome to TP.
There is a wealth of knowledge on this forum but I wonder if a good place to start might be with some of the fact sheets produced by the Alzheimer’s Society
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-s...7.2014574278.1526207327-1370286491.1335957541

 

[Nixnax1357]

Hello everyone,my dad has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and I just don't know where to turn,it also looks like he's been abused by his partner,got safegaurding up and a best interests meeting. But everything such a mess so hoping for some advice and support,thanks in advance

 

[canary]

Hi @Nixnax1357 and welcome to Talking Point
That sounds a very complex situation. I think it would be a good idea to start your own thread in the "I care for a person with dementia" sub forum https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-care-for-a-person-with-dementia.70/ so that more people will see it and you will be able to keep tabs on the replies.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Nixnax1357, welcome to TP from me too. You have come to the right place for information and support and I hope you find the forum a friendly place too.

Apart from the good advice already given by canary, a good thing to do is have a look at the threads on all the sub-forums for the great information contained in old threads. After, or before, that you may get some value from looking at the AS Factsheets and here's a link to follow if you want to do that https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list.

It's also possible to do a post code search for services in any area. Just follow this link to do that https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

 

[Alibear]

Hi, my Mum was diagnosed with vascular dementia and alzheimers a couple of weeks ago and i thought this site could be a valuable source of information and support for me. My Mum is 73 and lives alone as my Dad sadly died from cancer 12 years ago. Me and my sister are currently trying to gather info on what to organise first and what may lay ahead in the future but its hard to know where to start as its very new to us.

 

[canary]

Hello @Alibear and welcome to Talking Point.
I have found this forum an amazing place to get help and support. Do have a mooch around and feel free to join in, or start a new thread if you want to ask a question or talk about something specific. Do be aware that not everything that you read will happen to you/the person you are caring for.In the meantime, have you found the Alzheimers Society fact sheets https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia ?

 

[nellbelles]

Hello @Alibear welcome to TP.

Once you think your Mum is becoming unable to manage by herself you probably should get a needs assessment from SS, with a view to sourcing help for your Mum

Please now you have found us kept posting so we can offer support

 

[casidug]

Hi, I'm new to this group and hoping for some advice/support. My mum has alzheimers and dementia and has lived in a nursing home for just over a year. I have 2 brothers and a sister and one us us visits mum every day but she does not recognise us and cannot remember that we have been. I visited her this afternoon - with my dog - and she must have told me about 40 times that she just wants to die and can I help her? I have no idea how to reply. I have tried to sympathise, ignore, evade and distract but not sure what action I should really take. Finding this so hard and emotional

 

[Amethyst59]

Hello, welcome to Talking Point, though I am sorry that you have such a sad reason for joining. Is this new behaviour on your mum’s part, or does she say this to your siblings too? Is it possible she could have developed depression? I don’t think that is unusual and it might be possible to treat it. That was a good idea to take the dog...would it be possible to take a friend or other relative along? Maybe she wouldn’t say this with someone else there. I know it is possible to get into habits of behaviour and conversations and it needs something to break the habit and set a new pattern.

 

[Tin]

It could be depression. May be worth investigating a little, have you spoken to the staff at the care home, it is possible they may not have noticed anything, but worth asking and then if possible talking to her gp, if she is already taking anti depressants, maybe they need reviewing.

I too would suggest that maybe you go along with another member of family or friend, love that you are taking your dog with you, other residents probably enjoy this too.

 

[Costafortune]

Hello my name is Costafortune my husband's choicè. I've got dementia and I am always forgetting important and trivial things

 

[nae sporran]

Hello my name is Costafortune my husband's choicè. I've got dementia and I am always forgetting important and trivial things

Welcome to TP @Costafortune. I see you have already started your own thread where you will find plenty of support.

 

[Jezzer]

Hi, I'm new to this group and hoping for some advice/support. My mum has alzheimers and dementia and has lived in a nursing home for just over a year. I have 2 brothers and a sister and one us us visits mum every day but she does not recognise us and cannot remember that we have been. I visited her this afternoon - with my dog - and she must have told me about 40 times that she just wants to die and can I help her? I have no idea how to reply. I have tried to sympathise, ignore, evade and distract but not sure what action I should really take. Finding this so hard and emotional

Hello @casidug I am so pleased you have joined TP
although, of course, sorry for the circumstances that brought you here. This is a wonderful forum and I hope you find it as helpful as I, and so many of us, do. You will find support, understanding and friendship here. Having a loved one with Dementia can be a very lonely place. It is terribly tough to deal with and certainly emotional. Sadness, anger, confusion, fear to name just a few of those emotions. Has mum been expressing a wish to die only recently or has this been happening for a while? Prior to admission to her CH 2 years ago, mum as on a low-dose anti-depressant but she settled happily and the GP decided it was no longer needed. Perhaps similar medication might help your mum? I would definitely discuss this with staff. The son of a resident at mum's home always brings his Lab when he visits and she is so popular. Many of the residents adore her and she absolutely loves all the fuss made of her! Please let us know how things go and never hesitate to post. Take care.

 

[Mitch60]

Hi everyone ,My name is Mitch60 the reason I'm back here in TP is my dear late Dad suffered from vascular dementia, I supported my mum through this period of 6-7 years ...we did the courses went to the dementia cafe's and took him the day centre and I watched him sadly pass away . I am now finding myself looking after my poor dear mum who has now been diagnosed with the same thing and here I am again going through this all again and finding it harder to cope this time as mum and I now live together . ...being an only child and I've been a widow now for 15 years .

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Mitch60, and welcome to TP. I hope you find the forum to be a friendly, informative and supportive place.

Do take time to have a good look around the forum as it's a goldmine for information.

I found that a good place to start was just reading the past posts and then the AS Factsheets and here's a link to the Factsheets https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

If you want to search for support in your area you can do a postcode search by following this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

When you feel ready, don't be afraid to start your own thread with any questions, observations or just to vent feelings as there is usually someone on line to reply.

 

[nellbelles]

Hi @Mitch60 I’m sorry you find yourself in such a difficult place for the second time in your life.
This time I think is different because you are the main carer and it sounds as if you have little if any support.
Maybe it’s time to get SS involved and get a needs assessment for Mum and a carers assessment for you.
Doing this doesn’t necessarily mean SS have to be involved just that you will be on thier radar.
Please keep posting so we can offer support

 

[Mitch60]

Thanks , we are having some help with day care and I have a carer coming in ...the course we are on will open doors for more help , I know...but it seems so much harder this time round ... so will see what happens next week . Thank you for your reply .

 

[Jezzer]

Thanks , we are having some help with day care and I have a carer coming in ...the course we are on will open doors for more help , I know...but it seems so much harder this time round ... so will see what happens next week . Thank you for your reply .

Hello @Mitch60 . I'm so sorry you are faced with this illness again, this time with your dear mum. I'm not surprised you are finding it harder this time. Being on your own dealing with this has got to be very difficult. I'm glad you are getting some help and, as you say, more help is likely to come. It's a very lonely place to be so please use TP. It's invaluable to me. Take care.

 

[cuteweenumber]

Hello

My mother in law has a dementia diagnosis (not specific) and has recently come to live with us as it was becoming unsafe for her to be on her own anymore without support. We have moved her from the central belt of Scotland to the Highlands and 6 weeks or so in so far so good.

My problem is that my partner, her son, has no understanding of dementia and we can have some fraught conversations both him and me and him and her. I have a bit of an understanding as i have a nursing background though I can say that this does not prepare you for having someone live with you. I do try to give him strategies but I think he's finding it difficult to accept that his mum is going.

i have tried to find out where we can go just to talk about what is happening, what to expect and how to react. He thinks that taking her away for 10 days holiday in the summer will be ok cos 'she'll know she's on holiday'. I remain to be convinced...

Anyway, looking forward to reading all the threads and picking up all the hints and tips from others further down the journey than us.

cuteweenumber