• We're currently experiencing technical issues with our newsletter software, so our Dementia Talking Point monthly updates have been put on hold for now. We hope to restart the newsletter soon.

    Find out more >here<.

Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

Status
Not open for further replies.

sarah1979!

New member
Mar 17, 2018
4
At Helen's mereseyside
Hi just wondering if any one can help me with some advise. I've heard you can get you're council tax cancelled if you have dementia/alzheimers? It's for my mum who has alzheimers. My dad needs to know how he can sort this any help would be greatly appreciated.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,775
Kent
Hello @Sarah1979

You can only get council tax cancelled if you have dementia and live alone. If your mum and dad live together they can get a 25% rebate.

Your dad should apply to the Council.
 

ScarletPimple

Registered User
Mar 16, 2018
16
Hi, @karaokePete,
And thanks for your answer.
We had (a couple of days ago) got 2 new keys cut, as she had been odd with this same key before. And I did pretty much what you said - didn't tell her we had keys, but locked the door after she'd gone to bed and unlocked it this morning before she got up. I'm still hoping she'll find the original key somewhere you see, and if she thinks we have keys she won't bother looking AND she'll demand we hand over our keys so we'd be back to square one again if she hides those too.
I will do as you say about starting my own thread... if I can figure out where to do that. And look at that link you posted. Thanks for that too.
Yours S.P.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,634
N Ireland
Hi, @karaokePete,
And thanks for your answer.
We had (a couple of days ago) got 2 new keys cut, as she had been odd with this same key before. And I did pretty much what you said - didn't tell her we had keys, but locked the door after she'd gone to bed and unlocked it this morning before she got up. I'm still hoping she'll find the original key somewhere you see, and if she thinks we have keys she won't bother looking AND she'll demand we hand over our keys so we'd be back to square one again if she hides those too.
I will do as you say about starting my own thread... if I can figure out where to do that. And look at that link you posted. Thanks for that too.
Yours S.P.
To start a thread:-
Log in then pick a sub forum from the list, like https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-care-for-a-person-with-dementia.70/

When in that forum look to the right of the forum title for a blue box that says POST NEW THREAD, click on that.

Give your thread a title and away you go in the dialogue box.

Finally, hit the blue box that reads 'CREATE THREAD' under the dialogue section and the job's done.
 

jonte2512

New member
Mar 17, 2018
2
Cheshire
Hi there. I have been working in the Dementia sector for a number of years, also both my Mum and my partners Mum passed away having had Dementia so I have some first hand experience. I wanted to join this site as I sometimes get asked questions that I don't have the answers to but also to help others if I can. Looking forward to meeting new mates and sharing experiences, anything to make life a little easier for those with Dementia or those caring for them. X
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
7,046
Bristol
Welcome to Talking Point, Jonte. Sorry you have had such a bad time with losing your mum and your partner's mum to dementia. I hope will settle in and start your own thread if you feel the need to ask questions or just get support from people who have gone through the same battles.
 

ScarletPimple

Registered User
Mar 16, 2018
16
@karaokePete,
Um, I may have posted a new thread in the wrong place... or it may still be just a draft. I can't find it now.
I'm unused to forums via my phone. You don't get all the options on a phone.
ScarletPimple.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,634
N Ireland
@karaokePete,
Um, I may have posted a new thread in the wrong place... or it may still be just a draft. I can't find it now.
I'm unused to forums via my phone. You don't get all the options on a phone.
ScarletPimple.
Don't worry about it. I saw your post earlier so it does exist.
If you want to find your content just click on your avatar in the top RH corner of the sign in page, to the left of the envelope and flag, which are for your messages and alerts. When you click on that avatar you get a drop down menu with 'your content' as an option, click on that to find your posts.
You'll get used to it.:)
 

tryingtosmile

New member
Mar 13, 2018
6
Hi there. My husband is in late stage dementia. I am told it is complicated with a brain injury he sustained several years earlier from a car accident. He is 70 years of age. He has all the "normal" symptoms of late stage. On good days he can figure out how to open his mouth to eat, on bad days he licks the pudding off his lips . I am told that he is in a dementia loop, where he will have episodes of near dying and then recover somewhat and then repeat. We have had this happen 4 times since June. I Know that I lost my husband some time ago, long before he ever left the house to move into a nursing home. I think I miss his ability to talk to me the most. We had wonderful conversations. It's been 15 months since he moved in, I live very close to the home and I go often. But now a days it is more difficult to make a connection with him. I will shave him, when he doesn't really need to be shaved , just to touch him. I will put cream on his hands and feet. I look for signs that he is still in there behind those roaming eyes that no longer see. Like the way he use to roll his eyes, smile, or laugh. I believe I am grieving and experiencing the 7 stages of grief. Someone died in the home last week. I found myself thinking they were able to walk , go the bathroom, talk, feed themselves and "they" get to die, while my husband has to continue to live. I don't usually have angry thoughts...depressed thoughts yes, oh poor me thoughts.. smile.. yes, I have those quite often. But not angry ones.. I hate the road I am on. I want a short cut. I want to stop thinking what ifs, this never happened what would we be doing now. I never thought I would pray that God would take my sweet man away from me..and release his spirit..but now a days I do. I think when will I start feeling better, when is this hellish life I am living going to feel better.
 

Pol7

New member
Mar 18, 2018
2
Hi, my dad was diagnosed about 18months ago. I have been finding the whole thing very stressful recently and that is why I have joined this forum. We have organised someone to visit him twice a week , but he is very resistant and suspicious, has anyone had similar experiences.
 

tryingtosmile

New member
Mar 13, 2018
6
Hello my partner of over thirty years is now in a nursing home with the later stages of dementia, she is only seventy three years of age now I know some of you may think that to be old but when you get there you will probably change your mind I feel that I have been cheated because of the fact she is the love of my life and now although I get a smile occasionally she cannot correspond any more, we had a lovely time together holidays etc before this dreadfull condition robbed us both. I find it difficult to leave after my visits but have gradually become more able to do so ,I shed lots or tears listening to music which we both loved I have no family living near by so I have to cope on my own which isn't a problem as I speak to them all quite frequently. But loneliness is a terrible thing.
Hi there, our stories are much the same. Makes me feel like I am not alone...it also makes me cry...to think ..I am not alone. I have a lot of loneliness, it's been 15 months for me. I shouldn't be lonely any more, But I am. It isn't that I don't company, or that I don't invite people in, I actually have more going on in my life right now then I did when I kept him home. As back then I couldn't even leave the house to for a walk. I also feel robbed. I have always believed in God, but there are days ...I don't want to talk to Him. We also always listened to music, loved classic country, use to go to the legion dances, that is where we met. thank you for sharing this...smile
 

tryingtosmile

New member
Mar 13, 2018
6
Hi, my dad was diagnosed about 18months ago. I have been finding the whole thing very stressful recently and that is why I have joined this forum. We have organised someone to visit him twice a week , but he is very resistant and suspicious, has anyone had similar experiences.
hi there..my husband lives in a home, 15 months now, it is stressful, but not as bad for me, as when I kept him at home. Back then I didn't know which one of us was going to die first. It does help to talk about it ...smile...
 

Pol7

New member
Mar 18, 2018
2
hi there..my husband lives in a home, 15 months now, it is stressful, but not as bad for me, as when I kept him at home. Back then I didn't know which one of us was going to die first. It does help to talk about it ...smile...
hi there..my husband lives in a home, 15 months now, it is stressful, but not as bad for me, as when I kept him at home. Back then I didn't know which one of us was going to die first. It does help to talk about it ...smile...
hi there..my husband lives in a home, 15 months now, it is stressful, but not as bad for me, as when I kept him at home. Back then I didn't know which one of us was going to die first. It does help to talk about it ...smile...
Thank you .
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
4,764
Salford
Hi just wondering if any one can help me with some advise. I've heard you can get you're council tax cancelled if you have dementia/alzheimers? It's for my mum who has alzheimers. My dad needs to know how he can sort this any help would be greatly appreciated.
Much as I hate to correct Grannie G the "council tax disregard" (and it is important you use the correct term as if you ask for a CT discount then you're asking for the wrong thing) is only open to people diagnosed as having a "Severe Mental Impairment" (SMI) and a diagnosis of AZ/dementia of itself is not proof of an SMI. Either a doctor has to sign a form confirming it is an SMI or the getting certain benefits (Attendance Allowance for the over 65's, PIP, DLA and other) can be used as passport benefits but they have to be awarded for an SMI not another medical condition.
K
 

tryingtosmile

New member
Mar 13, 2018
6
This is my first ever link to a forum. My husband was diagnosed with Altzheimers approx 18 months ago but it had been apparent that something was wrong for at least 3 years prior to that. He has become progressively closed in on himself, having been a headteacher of a large secondary school and a mentor for failing schools, so a very intelligent man. Also a very good musician specifically organist. This is possibly the saddest reflection of his condition currently as he can't read the music quickly enough to play, and can't hold the rhythm of a piece. He struggles to understand the long term impact of the diagnosis, still thinking that if he tries hard enough he will get better.His own children are not taking any interest in his well-being. I feel that I am losing the man I love daily having come together 17 years ago. I have established the PoAs and he has had the DVLA annual assessment so can drive, but has lost confidence when once he was an enthusiastic good driver. My life has shrunk to the boundaries of his, and the loneliness becomes unbearable at times when people don't understand what we are dealing with. I think I am dealing with my own depression but can't afford to let go, as we would have nothing to eat and he relies and trusts only me.
I too have life with nothing in it except my husband and his care, and care givers and everything that goes with dealing with dementia..Keep sharing...I hear you..smile
 

Booknpint

New member
Mar 19, 2018
3
Hi, I live with and care for my 72 year old mam, She was diagnosed with early onset dementia at 60 (I think). I am not sure what type of dementia my mam has as my dad attended most memory appointments until his death from lung cancer in early 2012. Mam was taking dopazinil until last September and although her mental condition had deteriated slowly over the last few years, physically she was fit and well. In September she was prescribed memantatine. There was cognitive improvement on this medication especially in early evenings,, but her mood was low and turned suicidal and she was getting violent with me,. this calmed down at whilst we were on holiday at Christmas but she had a fit on new years day. The hospital in Spain did blood tests and scans and diagnosed a urine infection and thought this might be the cause of the fit. On our return home I phoned memory clinic they told me to stop memantine as it could be linked to fit, that was only contact that we 've had from them.
Mam was on antibiotics for a month after the fit and had to be admitted to a&e on 26th Jan as she d picked up a chest infection on top of urine infection. SHE was then on more antibiotics until end of Feb, she has now recovered from urine infections. She has been prescribed sodium validate for her tremors and the fit. She's only been on them a week but tremors have subsided. I Joined this forum as mam dementia has entered a new phase and although I m still trying to get to work I m finding that we are stuck in house more and physical care encouraging her to eat and drink plus toilet is taking up most of day in between she sleeps A lot, I miss her as a person, we 've always been close and have socialised together. This rapid deteriation over the past year has been hard to deal with.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
7,046
Bristol
Welcome to TP @Booknpint. Sorry your mum is taking a turn for the worse, sadly UTIs and chest infections do sometimes lead to dementia symptoms getting worse, happened to my OH after several UTIs 4 years ago.
Do you have a care package in place for outside carers to help with washing and getting ready for bed. It takes a lot of pressure off and gives you someone to talk to about health concerns.
You will find plenty of support and if you need more advice then starting your own thread in the forum "I care for someone with dementia" is a good step.
Best of luck and good wishes, Rob
 

Booknpint

New member
Mar 19, 2018
3
Welcome to TP @Booknpint. Sorry your mum is taking a turn for the worse, sadly UTIs and chest infections do sometimes lead to dementia symptoms getting worse, happened to my OH after several UTIs 4 years ago.
Do you have a care package in place for outside carers to help with washing and getting ready for bed. It takes a lot of pressure off and gives you someone to talk to about health concerns.
You will find plenty of support and if you need more advice then starting your own thread in the forum "I care for someone with dementia" is a good step.
Best of luck and good wishes, Rob
 
Status
Not open for further replies.