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  1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by Mark_W, Feb 21, 2018.

  1. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,462
    East of England
    @Wifenotcarer you have come to the right place as I have found just this year. My experience is so similar to yours and I have found the forums invaluable.
     
  2. Costa fortune

    Costa fortune Registered User

    Mar 10, 2018
    33
    Thank you. I found out 2 years ago and now I'm getting horrendous headaches.
     
  3. Costa fortune

    Costa fortune Registered User

    Mar 10, 2018
    33
    I understand you're not alone in feeling like that.
     
  4. Costa fortune

    Costa fortune Registered User

    Mar 10, 2018
    33
    I can remember that my mother worked in St Andrews but I can't remember what I did yesterday.
     
  5. Costa fortune

    Costa fortune Registered User

    Mar 10, 2018
    33
    I am Scottish and my husband is English. Dave is my best friend too. I had a stroke then heart op etc and when I thought that's the worse to happen. Then 2 years ago I was diagnosed with Dementia.
     
  6. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    6,096
    Male
    Bristol
    Sorry to hear of your diagnosis and your problems since then@Costa fortune. My OH had her diagnosis following a stroke too, and I see the frustration on her face when she cannot remember names or places, even details from the distant past.
    You will get plenty of good support here.
     
  7. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,343
    Merseyside
    @Costa fortune I’m glad you’re finding TP helpful. When you’re ready you could start your own thread here https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-have-dementia.56/ & it will be easier to keep track of your replies & support.
     
  8. Nelly 6

    Nelly 6 New member

    Mar 11, 2018
    1
    Hi, I have just joined the site today. My mum has dementia and is currently in a care home. I'm just looking for shared experiences and support. I appreciate that no one can tell me just exactly what will happen but it's good to have somewhere to "talk"
     
  9. Baby Bunty

    Baby Bunty Registered User

    Jan 24, 2018
    297
    Hi all..i joined this site about 6 weeks ago..and i can say it as literally safe me..i was at the point were i was that overwhelmed i felt that i couldnt cope..cry constantly for 3 months to the point i couldnt even eat without crying.. ( my mum is end stage vascular dem)..since finding this site it as put a lot off things into perspective for me and helped me enormously!!..i honestly can thank talking point enough and i been this from the bottom off my heart..so welcome to you all and i hope you all find re asurrance , help, answers or just some one to listen to you...love to you all and bless each and every one off you going through this horrific cruel journey..love babybunty.xxxxxx
     
  10. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    6,096
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to TP @Nelly 6. You will get plenty of support and advice here. Just take your time to find your way around and start your own thread when you are ready.
     
  11. Ripdark

    Ripdark New member

    Mar 8, 2018
    2
    Hello I’m new to this site and wanted to find some people who are having to deal with caring for someone with dementia. I’m looking after my stepfather and have been for the last 6 years since my mum passed away. He has dementia caused by alcohol and it’s been a long hard struggle to get any support to help me care for him. We share a house and have joint tenancy, I spend pretty much all my time caring for him apart from 7 hours per week when a Carer comes to see him. He has 5 children of his own but they don’t want anything to do with him or his care. I feel very overwhelmed and completely alone because anyone on the outside who doesn’t know what’s it’s like to deal with dementia think I’m doing a grand job and it’s easy looking after him, but the reality is the constant repeating, having to talk loudly so he can hear, hearing the same story’s over and over, having to explain things all day long, constant worry if he’s safe, not having a life away from it is so hard. I sometimes feel I’m going mad myself. I’m looking for people to talk to to off load some of the pressure and share experiences with x
     
  12. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    6,096
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to TP, @Ripdark.
    You will get plenty of support here, indeed the feeling of isolation and having family who don't understand or won't help is one I can relate to in the four and half years I've been a full time carer.
    Are those 7 hours care for your father in law personal care every day or a block? If you can also get an afternoon off while a carer takes him to some kind of activity or even just out for coffee and cake it would give you some time to yourself. Ask Social Services for a carers assessment and a care needs assessment to see if you can get some kind of respite support. You are entitiled to the former and your father in law to the latter under the Care Act.
    Feel free to start your own thread in the "I care for a person with dementia" forum. Just click on the blue "start a new thread" button and write down your concerns or questions. Don't forget to click on "watch thread" in the top right corner to monitor replies.
    Best wishes, Rob
     
  13. DCW

    DCW Registered User

    Oct 12, 2016
    1
    Hello, I'm new to this, so will apologise before I make a mistake!
    My wonderful Dad has Vascular Dementia, he is in his 4th year of this hateful disease. At the moment, I consider myself very lucky as in comparison to many others, he is relatively well.
    I need some advice concerning the Health and Welfare LPA.
    Is this the right place to be? Today alone I have tried to contact the CAB and 2 other helplines, but with no success and I could really do with some help now.
    Thank you
     
  14. DeMartin

    DeMartin Registered User

    Jul 4, 2017
    711
    Kent
    Welcome DCW, sorry you’ve had to join us. Re your question on POA, check out the government website, print it off, have a read. It is doable by most people. Age Concern and Citizen Advice can help if needed. If you browse through the forums you’ll find a lot on POA. You can use the search box at the top of the page.
     
  15. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    6,096
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to Talking Pont, DCW.
    Sorry you are having trouble with LPA, on top of dealing with your dad's condition. As DeMArtin says AgeUK (as they are now) helped us with the forms and would be a good place to start. https://www.ageuk.org.uk/services/in-your-area/ will give a local phone number.
    Or you could try the National Dementia Helpline, they have advisors for every eventuality, and their number is 0300 222 11 22.
    Good luck.
     
  16. LouLou23

    LouLou23 Registered User

    Mar 12, 2018
    11
    Female
    North Yorkshire
    Hi, I have joined because I have a Mum with dementia. We lost dad to last year to Vascular dementia but going through it a second time is not easy, especially since my mum. She is a very independent women and sometimes stubborn! She does not make it easy when you try or offer help. The whole situation is not made easy by both my brother and I living a distance away.
    Mum is still living in at home by herself and no carer.
     
  17. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    5,022
    N Ireland
    Hello @LouLou23, welcome to TP, you will find this a friendly, informative and supportive place.
    That is tough to have both parents hit by dementia. Do keep posting and have a good read at the various sections of the site. Maybe start your own thread about your issues as more people may see it and respond.
    You mention your difficulties concerning communication and maybe it would help you find a new approach if you had a look at the following thread first, just click on the following link:-

    https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/
     
  18. Ripdark

    Ripdark New member

    Mar 8, 2018
    2
    Thank you for your reply Rob
    It’s good to know I’m not alone and will be able to connect with other carers on this site
    Kind regards Rachel
     
  19. HelenTW

    HelenTW New member

    Mar 12, 2018
    8
    Female
    Hello, I'm new to the forum. Mum has quite advanced Alzheimer's dementia, was cared for by my father but sadly he has recently died after 4 weeks in hospital. Both of them had denied needing help up to that point and had hidden the diagnosis from my sister and I. When Dad went into hospital, my sister and I basically gave up our lives to get help for Mum and obviously visit Dad in hospital. We aren't local, I live 80 miles from Mum and my sister is 240 miles away.
    I lost my job as a result of taking the time off, which was another trauma to deal with.
    We have managed to get 4 care visits a day for Mum but I feel really guilty about not being able to be there more and I worry about the time she spends alone between the last visit at night and the first one in the morning. However, I've got to get on and find another job (whilst dealing with all the post death stuff too)
    I haven't grieved properly due to the stress of Mum's situation and I find myself worrying about her 24/7. I guess I joined to get advice on steps to take and also feel I'm not alone.
    Sorry, that was a bit of a splurge!
     
  20. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    5,022
    N Ireland
    Hello @HelenTW , welcome to TP, you will find this a friendly, informative and supportive place.
    You do have a lot on your plate at the moment so I wouldn't worry about writing at length or feel guilty about the amount you can do. We all have limits and you appear to have done a lot in getting 4 care visits a day for your mum.
    If you haven't done so already, and your Mum still has capacity, I would get her affairs in order with things like Power of Attorney.
    I don't have experience of this level of care need so can't offer any other advice. I can say you are not alone and you should feel free to start your own thread about your situation as it will be seen by more people who will have experience.
    Do have a good look around the site and keep posting.

    To start a thread just go to the sub-forum 'I care for a person with dementia' and click on the blue button to the right of the title that reads 'Post New Thread' and away you go.
     
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