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Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by Mark_W, Feb 21, 2018.

  1. WA123

    WA123 Registered User

    Jan 20, 2018
    85

    thank you for the welcome. I've already found it useful just knowing I'm not on my own and am continually amazed at how many families are affected by this horrible disease.
     
  2. Rambling Sid

    Rambling Sid Registered User

    Mar 7, 2018
    30
    My mother is in her 80s and has been diagnosed with early stage dementia. She still recognises me and seems happy in her little world ("pleasantly confused" according to the GP).

    Our huge problem is the distance between us - she is in the far north of the UK and I am near London. All journeys involve trains, taxis, accommodation, meals out -- so not a cheap or easily affordable trip.

    She lets her bills build up because she is not capable of dealing with finances, so I pay them when I visit. I am following advice here about getting POA, but it is all very confusing. Other sites say it is too late once a dementia/alzheimers diagnosis has been made, others say no, do it all online with no solicitor involvement. So I am very confused and feel lost. Just wanted to introduce myself but am going back to read the other posts now.....
     
  3. Loretty

    Loretty New member

    Mar 7, 2018
    1
    Hello; my name is Stef. I’ve just joined x
     
  4. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,757
    Salford
    Hiya Stef, welcome from all of us:)
    K
     
  5. Lola345

    Lola345 New member

    Mar 6, 2018
    2
    Hi everyone. I've just joined.

    My mum's 'forgetfulness' has rapidly worsened in the last few months. She has massive anxiety about doing anything by herself now as she knows she forgets things and gets confused. (She couldn't get money out the ATM to pay her water bill yesterday and genuinely didnt know what to do)

    I've recently gone through her legal docs with her (will and POA) which took ages but I'm glad it's done. I don't really know what to do now though - I don't have anyone else to help as I'm the only family member nearby.

    I'm hoping that the lovely people on this site will be able give me some honest opinions.

    Nice to meet you all x
     
  6. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,802
    Male
    Bristol
    Hullo and welcome to TP @Lola345.
    I know the feeling of isolation that comes with being a sole carer, as my OH has family near by but they have their own lives and their own problems. I think that feeling of frustration with yourself and feeling useless is quite normal in people with dementia, so sorry for your mum dealing with it.
    For your own sake and for your mum I would recommend going to carers support groups and memory cafes. I have found a befriending scheme through social services who send a lady to take OH to cafes after she never took to singing for the brain. It gives me time to myself witout worrying and may help you and your mum.
    Contact carers groups on https://carers.org/
    Contact Alzheimers for memory cafes or singing for the brain or just good advice at http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/info/2...1360.1519998619-604353012.1519998619#!/search

    Good luck and if you need anything more, feel free to start your own thread on "I care for a person with dementia"
     
  7. Lola345

    Lola345 New member

    Mar 6, 2018
    2
    Thank you @nae sporran.

    I'd love to get her more involved in groups/activities, but convincing her it's a good idea may take a small miracle!

    I'll have a proper nosey at links and round the site in a bit once my daughter's in bed ☺

    Thanks again x
     
  8. Gib Gal

    Gib Gal New member

    Mar 8, 2018
    3
    Hi. Mother in law has been in a care home after a fall at home and being found in a terrible state. She spent time in hospital, then an assessment unit, who said she needed full time care. She keeps saying she wants to go home. I've lost both parents recently and find this next journey so difficult. Thats why I looked for a group to join.
     
  9. ShaneWhitty

    ShaneWhitty New member

    Mar 8, 2018
    1
    Hi I am 25 and my reason for joining the forum is because my dad was diagnosed with dementia a few years ago, he is 65 now and so far he didn't have many symptoms just a bit forgetful, well almost overnight he has changed completely, he went wondering at night and was found the day after by the police miles from home very upset and confused, he seems to get very frustrated at little things and the big change in him has really opened all of our eyes to just how serious this is and just how much we don't no about it yet so I am hoping this forum will help me and my family understand more and maybe make things easier for my dad as he seems to know that there is something going on and he is really scared, thank you for you amazing people willing to share your experiences and giving your support because me and my family are lost at the moment!
     
  10. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,372
    leicester
    Welcome to TP @Gib Gal
    This is a good group to join, we are very friendly
    The wanting to go home is so common but unfortunately it is a home that no longer exists, be it a childhood home or just an early memory.
    Just no longer a reality
    Please keep posting, the support will help
     
  11. LostOne

    LostOne Registered User

    Mar 9, 2018
    17
    #71 LostOne, Mar 9, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2018
    Hi, I wanted to join as my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a while back. He’s been deteriorating rapidly, his Dr has told us that he only has days - weeks at best to live. I guess I’m just looking for support and people who understand what I’m going through.
     
  12. Amethyst59

    Amethyst59 Registered User

    Jul 3, 2017
    5,738
    Female
    Kent
    Hello, @LostOne, welcome to Talking Point. I am so very sorry to hear about your dad. This must have been such a hard couple of years for you, and you are now facing the hardest bit of all. You have definitely come to the right place for support, as lots of members are or very recently have been, in exactly your position. It helps so much to talk to others who know exactly what you are going through.
    I am going to suggest that you start your own thread. Your posts will be noticed by many more people.
    Click twice on the ‘forum’ link. Select ‘I care for a person with dementia’. Click ‘start a new thread’ , fill inthe boxes, with a title, and then a brief description like you have written on this thread. If you click ‘watch this thread’ you will get an email notification with every reply.
     
  13. LostOne

    LostOne Registered User

    Mar 9, 2018
    17
    @Amethyst59 Thank you for the welcome, your kind words and guidance. I’ll try and do that now.
     
  14. Gib Gal

    Gib Gal New member

    Mar 8, 2018
    3
    Thank you. I have lots of questions!
     
  15. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,876
    Yorkshire
    hello @ShaneWhitty
    a warm welcome to TP
    it can be really scary when someone unexpectedly goes wandering - what a worry for your family and for your dad himself
    does he have a mobile as it's possible to use that as a tracker - or to organise a tracker system so that should your dad go out on his own, you can find where he is
    may be make sure he has some ID on him - I put a small card in a pocket of all of dad's coats with the fact that he has dementia and a contact number
    have you checked in with his GP - a sudden change can be the result of an infection eg a UTI - and it's useful to keep his GP fully informed of any changes, so they have an up to date picture of his situation
    there's lots of information on TP and lovely supportive members, so have a mooch around and start your own thread when you're ready, with anything that's on your mind
     
  16. Costa fortune

    Costa fortune Registered User

    Mar 10, 2018
    33
    I was diagnosed with dementia. I'm having nasty headaches.
     
  17. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,876
    Yorkshire
    hello @Costa fortune
    a warm welcome to TP
    sorry to read that your headaches are bothering you so much
    I don't know whether this is one of your symptoms, but do have a chat about them with your GP, and your consultant if you have one - who knows, there may be some meds that will help
    sorry to be obvious, but I get a very tight ache at the back of my head if I am dehydrated - sometimes I concentrate so much on a task that I forget to have enough to drink
    now you've found TP do settle in and have a mooch around as there's lots of info here and members who have dementia in their lives in some way, so you've joined a community of folk who offer sympathy and understanding
    when you are ready, do start a thread of your own and others will respond
    best wishes
     
  18. Wifenotcarer

    Wifenotcarer Registered User

    Mar 11, 2018
    229
    Central Scotland
    Hello. I have joined today after 'lurking' for a few weeks. My 78 year old, DH (dear husband) only got a formal diagnosis (frontal temporal + Alzheimers) last summer although he had been showing symptoms for 4/5 years. This was mainly because our Health Board had no permanent Geriatric Mental Health Consultant and none of the succession of locums was prepared to investigate further or change the official diagnosis from 'mild cognitive impairment'. Since the formal diagnosis things have moved quickly, DH has an assigned Social Worker, has had more than the statutory 6 months of intensive support, including weekly Day Therapy, a 3 day trial run in Respite Care, been granted higher rate Attendance Allowance, had to return his Driving Licence, has a MECS alarm, is currently waiting for a blue badge. I had already obtained POA while he was still compos mentis enough to understand that. Thankfully I have always done all the financial stuff, including DH's tax return, but even that has been problematic with various companies/agencies insisting on speaking/corresponding with my DH directly.

    With his 'intensive support period' at an end DH has been awarded a once weekly 5 hour visit to an Alzheimers run day care facility. He also goes fortnightly to play drumkit for a Steel Band (he has played in bands his whole life). Other than that we are together 24/7 which can be difficult - we get on each others nerves - especially over the last couple of months when we both had severe colds, followed by the never ending coughs and just as we were improving, our village was 'snowed in' for nearly a full week. We were both going stir crazy! Obviously it was my fault that we had no milk, bread or particularly his bananas. Our two daughters, who normally supply excellent back up, could not reach us but saved my sanity via phone calls and internet chats.

    I have been left feeling a bit vulnerable having really struggled to cope whilst feeling ill myself, and then a full week of no day care, cancelled carer support, Social Worker off ill, and MECS service unreachable. It was disappointing that none of our lovely, friendly, younger neighbours offered any help or even a bit of company, although a passing family, out for a tramp in the snow, saw us struggling and insisted on taking over the clearing of our path.

    Off now to explore any threads about failing appetite and Financial Assessment forms.
     
  19. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,185
    Female
    South coast
    Hello @Wifenotcarer and welcome to Talking Point
    Thank you for telling your story and I look forward to seeing you around the forum
     
  20. Costa fortune

    Costa fortune Registered User

    Mar 10, 2018
    33
    Thank you for your post. I've been diagnosed for 2 years and I'm lucky to have the support of my husband. He does so much to help me and get gadgets that will help me.
     
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