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Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by Mark_W, Feb 21, 2018.

  1. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,020
    Yorkshire
    hello @JBK
    a warm welcome to TP
    I couldn't agree with you more - it was such a relief for me when I found TP to discover a whole community of folk who 'get it' and are so easy to talk to
    so, settle in and have a good read round
    and join in on a thread or start your own with whatever is on your mind
     
  2. JBK

    JBK Registered User

    Feb 25, 2018
    35
    Female
    Thank you
     
  3. Caz Brightley

    Caz Brightley New member

    Feb 25, 2018
    1
    Hi my name is Caz and I am carer to my 90 year old Mother, who lives with my husband and me. She has a granny flat built specially for her attached to our house. We share the kitchen and I do all the cooking. She was diagnosed with Dementia a year ago. She was prescribed Memantine tablets to help slow the Dementia. Roles have reversed and I am the mother, I find it quite difficult as never having children, it feels like I have one now. I am lucky because she loves my husband and he is very good with her. He works all week, where I am retired and at home . Mum does go to Age UK twice a week and she loves it .
    I have joined a carers group which meet once a month so have been given some advice etc. It is good to talk to other people in the same position.
     
  4. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,582
    Female
    Dundee
    Hi @Caz Brightly and welcome to Talking Point. I'm so glad you have found the forum and have shared your situation with us. I have no doubt that you will find lots of help and support here. Have a scout around and start a thread of your own if you feel like it. You'll see the kind of thing people are posting about here -

    https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-care-for-a-person-with-dementia.70/

    I look forward to seeing you around the forum.
     
  5. oldgrumpy

    oldgrumpy New member

    Feb 22, 2018
    1
    Hello everyone, I am a recent new member and was advised by our Daughter in law to join the forum, which I think I have done!

    My wife was diagnosed with mild Alzheimer's two years ago which left us both reeling and in my case, still does, despite trying to be positive with the life changing situation we both find our selves in

    We are in the situation of now leaving this to medication after having our home modified with regards to living aid appliances, frames for the bathroom, bedroom and such.

    Anyway I'll not go on too much in case I have not posted correctly for now.

    Nice to meet you all.

    Regards

    Oldgrumpy
     
  6. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,910
    Male
    Bristol
    Hullo @oldgrumpy and welcome to TP. Sorry your wife had been diagnosed with alzheimers, my OH was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia 7 years ago and dealing with it still leaves me reeling some days.

    I hope you will post any more details or ask any questions as and when you feel like it. We have all had occasions when we just want to let off steam as well as asking for advice, so don't worry about anything.
    Just browse forums or go to
    https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-have-a-partner-with-dementia.69/ or
    https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-care-for-a-person-with-dementia.70/
    At the top, you'll see a button called 'Post New Thread' - click or tap on this.
    Add a discussion title and below, add your message. Then click or tap the [Post new Thread] blue button.
    Under the "post new thread" button is the option to 'watch thread' which can give you updates if you get answers.

    Best wishes,

    Rob
     
  7. flash22

    flash22 New member

    Feb 27, 2018
    1
    Hi all

    I'm new to this site -so I just wanted to say hello and something about my situation.

    My mum has dementia - it hasn't been officially diagnosed because she refuses to accept anything is wrong and will not go to any assessments for a diagnosis. Consequently she is receiving no treatment at all. She is 87 and doesn't recognise people all the time and constantly changes reality. She is becoming more and more isolated as she doesn't like meeting new people and wont' go to any centres or join in activities. She will not let us take her to places and becomes really upset and angry if we try to reason with her.
    She had a hearing test a year ago and refused to wear a hearing aid, as she thinks there is nothing wrong with her. She does get hostile and upset and I just wondered if anyone has experienced similar? How do you help someone who won't accept any help? I have made another appointment for her to have an assessment in order to keep her in the system, but what happens if she won't communicate with the professionals?
     
  8. Collywobbles

    Collywobbles New member

    Feb 27, 2018
    5
    Female
    At the moment, all I can do is say yes, hostile and upset happens with my Mum whenever we try to suggest that she has a problem. She refuses to talk to the GP, so we can't get into the system to begin with.

    I can offer solidarity but not much else - you're not alone!
     
  9. Jeanz71

    Jeanz71 New member

    Feb 27, 2018
    3
    Hello, my 82 year old father is just going through the process of diagnosis. We have had an initial home visit appointment but are waiting for his referral to the memory clinic to come through, as it is there that will give the final diagnosis as to what type of dementia it is he has.

    I also have an Uncle who has Alzheimer's who has been put in a care home. After my dad having a fall in January he is now living in my home with me and my daughter, as well as my mum who we are caring for also. (my mum and dad are divorced).

    I am looking for somewhere to ask advice from people who have gone through something similar or who are going through it now.

    Both myself and my daughter also have Menieres Disease, EDS type 3, I also have fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, IBS, and I am waiting for some referrals to come through too. I was made redundant back in 2009 and have been full time caring for my mum since then.
    My daughter (who is 22 yrs old tomorrow, her usual/proper birthday is 29th Feb) and she is a self employed nail technician and works from home which helps me a lot caring for both my parents.

    I hope I haven't rattled on too much.
     
  10. Jeanz71

    Jeanz71 New member

    Feb 27, 2018
    3
    I was in a pretty similar situation with my dad with the hearing aids and forgetfulness and odd behaviour. He ended up having a fall, his blood pressure dropped dangerously low and he was taken to hospital. His confusion was noticed there and I sort of took it from there as he wasn't in a position to argue. We are still in the diagnosis stage,though for his safety and my peace of mind I am in the process of ending his bungalow tenancy and moving him into y home.

    Could your mum's doctor help you?
     
  11. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,910
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to TP, Jeanz71.
    That's a lot on your plate for you and for your daughter, though I hope that doesn't sound a little trite, just taking in how much you are already dealing with.
    Feel free to rattle on as much as you want to or need to.
    If you post on the forum https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/memory-concerns-and-seeking-a-diagnosis.26/ you should find plenty of knowledgeable people with good advice.
    Good luck with the referral.
     
  12. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,910
    Male
    Bristol
    Hullo and welcome to TP @flash22.
    I'm sorry I can't offer any words of wisdom in your situation, it's harder than anything I've ever had to deal with. You may also get more support and advice by posting in the memory concerns and seeking a diagnosis forum.
    Type in https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/memory-concerns-and-seeking-a-diagnosis.26/
    At the top, you'll see a button called 'Post New Thread' - click or tap on this.
    Add a discussion title, then add your message below. Then click or tap the [Create Thread] button.
    Under the "post new thread" button is the option to 'watch thread' which can give you updates if you get answers.
    I hope this helps, but if you have any further questions about using Talking Point, please contact the team by emailing talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk
    Best wishes,
    Rob
     
  13. Collywobbles

    Collywobbles New member

    Feb 27, 2018
    5
    Female
    Thank you Rob, much appreciated. Another Admin has already taken my post and moved it to its own thread, where I'm getting some extremely helpful ideas.
     
  14. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,910
    Male
    Bristol
    I'm pleased you're settling in and getting some good ideas Collywobbles.
     
  15. SeismicPenguin

    SeismicPenguin Registered User

    Feb 28, 2018
    22
    Scotland
    Hello, I found this forum last night and it looks really useful and supportive and non-judgemental so I decided to sign up.

    My background is that I have spent most of my life working an office job. I gave that up when my father was ill in 2015 because I lived a long way from the family home and it was clear that my parents needed additional support. I am the youngest of three, the closest emotionally to my parents and the one who spent all my holiday time here; I have always known I would do this in a heartbeat if it was ever needed. So August 2015 was my time and I packed up my life, hit the motorway and headed north, back to the home I had left 27 years before.

    Very sadly, my father survived only one short month after I arrived home. That was totally not the plan, but he went to his grave relieved that I was there to take care of things once he'd gone.

    Two and a half years on, life without Dad around has gradually become our new normal. Mother got an Alzheimer's diagnosis about a year ago and so we just try and live each day as it comes. She is 92 but very fit physically and still insists on doing everything around the house and retaining a lot of control over her life.... having lived a life of being bossed around by my father, she is not intending to let her youngest child boss her around anytime soon! That leads to its own frustrations for me but, on the whole, we get along pretty well.

    I'm conscious that the disease is always advancing but am grateful that, for now at least, my Mum is still my mum, just with a few extra challenges bolted on. I am well aware that it may not always be this way, but I will deal with that (or not) when the time comes. No point worrying - I might as well try and enjoy this special and privileged time that we have together, eh?

    Anyway that's quite enough about me for now. Sorry to say it but it's a huge relief to be in contact with other people who are dealing with the same sort of stuff. It really does help, so thank you in anticipation of providing a listening ear at some point when I need one :)
     
  16. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,910
    Male
    Bristol
    Good morning and welcome to TP @SeismicPenguin, that's a great name by the way. As you seem to be finding your way around I'll leave you to post any questions or let off steam when you feel ready, but if you need any help just ask on this thread. There's a few Scottish members who will know the social security and health system up there. Best wishes, Rob
     
  17. outinthecountry

    outinthecountry New member

    Mar 1, 2018
    3
    Hi - I have joined the forum as we are trying to care for my mother in law and are struggling with many issues. She is deteriorating so fast, or at least that's how it appears to us - NHS do not seem too concerned yet! I am hoping to get some information and advise from those of you who have more experience than us.... it will be a relief to express some of my frustrations too.
     
  18. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,910
    Male
    Bristol
    Good morning and welcome to TP @outinthecountry. I'm sorry your mother-in-law is deteriorating, am I right to assume from your post that she has not had an official diagnosis of dementia?
    It would be worth contacting social services to see what support you can get for your mother in law and for yourself in the form of a care needs assessment and a carers assessment, and I don't think you would need a diagnosis from your GP for that.
    If you need any more advice or help in posting on the seeking a diagnosis forum or the I care for someone with dementia forum then let me know.

    Best wishes,

    Rob
     
  19. Martini

    Martini New member

    Feb 28, 2018
    3
    Hi, my Mum has been struggling with memory and cognitive issues for a few years but functions quite well with the support of my Dad. He has recently been diagnosed with cancer and we are now having to make decisions about how to care for mum if he is unable to. Just starting to look at these dementia websites and draw in more support!
     
  20. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,910
    Male
    Bristol
    Hullo and welcome to TP, @Martini. Sorry you and your parents have cancer to deal with as well as memory and cognitive issues. Has your mum had a diagnosis and do you already have social services supporting. You should call them for a care needs assessment and a carers assessment if you have not already done so. They should be able to help you decide what you need and help you find the right support.
    If you start your own thread on the "I care for someone with dementia" forum you should get more support and ideas. Best wishes, Rob
     
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