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Welcome to Dementia Talking Point! Find out more and say hello.

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HarrietD

Administrator
Staff member
Apr 29, 2014
7,665
0
London
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point :)

If you have dementia, or care for someone who does, you're very welcome to join our community and get support from others. Find out more about how to join and say hi to our friendly community on this discussion!

Finding out more

If you've got questions about how to use Dementia Talking Point click on these links below.
  • You can find answers to frequently asked questions here.
  • Our Help videos will show you how to navigate the different areas of Dementia Talking Point.
  • We also have a Quick Guide explaining how to use Dementia Talking Point including logging in, posting, replying, checking private messages and searching.
  • Also we recommend having a read through our Guidelines which are some useful tips and things to remember when posting.

Connecting with others

Head over to our list of forums to find people who are in a similar situation, people at a similar stage of dementia or an information topic that interests you.

Here are some tips on how to post a reply or start your own discussion...

1. When you're in a forum, look for the blue "Post New Thread" or "Reply" buttons at the top or bottom of discussions


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2. To start a discussion, type a title, add your message and choose 'Create Thread'.


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3. To add a reply just add your message and choose "Reply"


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Any questions?



If you have any questions about using Dementia Talking Point, you can email us on talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk or Use our Contact Form - we're here to help.


Saying hello

This is our welcome thread - the place many members start. Our volunteer hosts and regular members are here to say hello to you and to welcome you to our community.

Why not tell us a little about your experience and how you'd like Dementia Talking Point to help you?

Whatever you're facing today, we hope you find our community to be helpful and supportive.

Harriet :)
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
9,148
0
Bristol
Hullo Chris and welcome to talking point. It's a friendly place full of knowledgeable and supportive members, so feel free to read a few threads and let us know more about your situation whenever you feel ready.
 

Carolyn.N.

New member
Jun 22, 2022
1
0
Hello,
I'm Carolyn and my father-in-law has vascular dementia.

We are struggling big time, especially my husband, as my father-in-law is losing all control of his body.

We really need someone to explain what vascular dementia is and what to expect with his failing body.

Thank you.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,280
0
Kent
Welcome @Carolyn.N.

I hope this link will help. Please realise with all types of dementia, nothing is set in staone. Many symptoms and behaviours overlap and the progression of the illness can vary significantly in different people, depending on age, other health issues and even basic personality traits.

When you next post, please start your own Thread in the Forum I care for a person with dementia , which is here.

i-care-for-a-person-with-dementia.70

This will help you get the support you need and it will be easier for you to access your replies.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
67,141
0
71
Dundee
Hello,
I'm Carolyn and my father-in-law has vascular dementia.

We are struggling big time, especially my husband, as my father-in-law is losing all control of his body.

We really need someone to explain what vascular dementia is and what to expect with his failing body.

Thank you.

Welcome from me too. I‘m sorry to hear about your father in law’s diagnosis. I wondered if this would be of help -

 

Garden convert

New member
Jun 23, 2022
1
0
Good Evening
My wife has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s although I have noticed her memory failing for sometime now. For the present she is quite responsible being left on her own for a few hours which gives me a slot to ride my bike. The future direction of her illness is uncertain so I am trying to do as much of my hobby things before I am confined to full time caring. Fortunately I have taken over her favourite pastime - gardening, which I am finding a joy.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,280
0
Kent
Welcome @Garden convert

It sounds as if you are facing this diagnosis with pragmatism and I`m sure it will serve you well.

I was able to leave my husband for a couple of hours for quite a while and it`s good you can still get out to cycle. It`s even better you have a pastime for when you will not be too happy to leave her for long. Can your wife still share her love of gardening with you?

To get as much support as possible, please start your own Thread in the forum I have a partner with dementia.

 

Isabellelevy

New member
Jun 24, 2022
2
0
Thanks for your welcome
I join this group as my mum has lewy body dementia, she was diagnosed in August 2020
But her memory loss and symptoms started early in 2019
She leaves in France and I leave in UK, I had managed for those last few years with carer at home , the were coming 6 hours spread across the day. But since few months she started to refuse her food, to not want to sleep in her bed, to not sleep....I had to go many time in emergency there ( I have 3 young kids at home)..the carer and doctor suggested the care home....where she is now.....it is absolutely killing me, I feel so helpless and guilty that I put her there, I visited so many before to find a good one but still I feel heartbroken. They accepted that I have a little camera in her room , so I can see her, how she is doing ...she is not bad, she even met some poeple and they say she is participating to the lunch and dinner....but still ,it is like watching an horror movie, this lady, my mum is not there anymore...
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,280
0
Kent
It must be really hard for you @Isabellelevy if you cannot visit frequently.

It might be a mistake to watch your mother on the camera, especially if you say she is not too unhappy and is participating in meal times. Maybe once a week might help you.

Because it is remote observation it won`t bring any comfort to your mother and all it is doing is hurting you.
 

Isabellelevy

New member
Jun 24, 2022
2
0
Thank you , I guess you are right , I know you are right😊
But I feel so guilty that it is my only way of seeing that she is safe🙄, she is always in the back of my mind.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,280
0
Kent
it is like watching an horror movie,

Sometimes observation is more painful than actually being with the person simply because you can do nothing to help and all you want to do is give your person with dementia a hug and try to reassure them.

I know this because I used to follow my husband when he went walkabout and could see how confused he was.

Perhaps it might help you to phone the care home and speak to members of staff who should be able to give you some reassurance and comfort.
 

Wishful thinking

New member
Jun 30, 2022
9
0
Gloucestershire
Hullo
I am caring for my husband with Alzheimer’s diagnosed in April but of course suspicious incidents started probably 4 years ago.He’ not too bad but his memory and moods are difficult at times and we are farmers so machinery and getting him to understand we have to part with cattle is very difficult.He has been told not to drive but still drives the tractor in the fields.Yesterday he took the truck down to check cattle and got it stuck in a bog so went down with the tractor to pull it out.Only trouble was that he got the tractor stuck too by doing the same thing.Our friends came over with their tractor to pull all out so all was well in the end but it is very stressful with the addition of danger and accidents on the farm.
He has a great deal of pain with severe arthritis of the hip but the consultant won’t operate because it could escalate his memory problems I feel very sorry for him but it is very trying at times.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
67,141
0
71
Dundee
Welcome to the forum @Wishful thinking.

It’s so terribly sad to read about your husband’s diagnosis and the problems you’re facing. I know you will get lots of understanding and support here.

Perhaps, when you’re ready, you would consider starting a thread in the I Have A Partner with Dementia area of the forum. Many members do this so that they can keep their thoughts and concerns and other members’ responses in one place.

Whatever you decide - keep posting.
 
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nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
9,637
0
leicester
Hello and welcome to the forum @Wishful thinking.
it sounds a very difficult situation for you to deal with.

I‘m glad you have found the forum it’s a friendly and helpful place to share your experiences
now you have found us I hope you will continue to post..
 

YDT

New member
Jul 13, 2022
1
0
Hello I am a new member so not sure if I am posting this in the right place!
After caring for my Mum by supporting her at home for around 7 years with vascular dementia, my family and I have made the decision to move her in to our house.
We are nearly a month in now and we are settling down to 'normal' life but I know there will be challenges ahead.
Mum is 90 and is very mobile for her age thankfully. Her short term memory is now extremely poor and she will forget to feed herself and drink if left alone for too long.
I also supported my Mum and helped care for my Dad who passed away 6 years ago with Parkinsons and dementia so I have been in a caring role with my parents for around 17 years now.
I am exhausted by everything I have had to deal with and are hoping life will be a little calmer now having everyone under the same roof...time will tell!!
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,280
0
Kent
Welcome @YDT

You are a gem but please don`t allow yourself to become too exhausted. Carer breakdown won`t help anyone, least of all your mum.

If you can, get as much help as possible.

You certainly posted in the right place.

Now you have introduced yourself, please start your own Thread in the section I care for a person with dementia


This way you will be able to access members` support in one place and let us know how you are managing.
 

Grizly

New member
Jul 18, 2022
4
0
Hello. My name is Paul. I live in Hull. My Wife Pip was diagnosed last year with mixed dementia. Mainly vascular with a dash of Alzhimers. We have good days, bad days and very bad days. It is a bit of a lonely life as our children have grown-up and don't live near enough to help. Social media is about most of the support I get. Life is hard. It took nearly 11 months to get the diagnosis. Very frustrating. Our family GP never booked the memory clinic appointment. He just filed the initial blood tests and left it until I rang 2 months later to ask when the appointment would happen. We had to start all over again.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
67,141
0
71
Dundee
Welcome to the forum @Grizly I’m so sorry to read about your wife. I’m glad you’ve found this forum as you will never feel alone here.

Now you have introduced yourself you might want to consider starting your ow own Thread in the section I Care For A Person With Dementia area


Keep posting. I know you will get lots of help and support here.
 
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