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Welcome to Dementia Talking Point! Find out more and say hello.

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Carly2711

New member
Aug 3, 2021
1
0
Hi all, I've recently started caring for my Nan who has alzheimers. My grandad passed away 7 weeks ago and me and my mum share the care of Nan (I do 3 days and nights a week). Feel a bit overwhelmed with it all at the moment I have a partner, 3 young children and have given up work to do this, so huge change for us all!
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
8,101
0
Bristol
Hi all, I've recently started caring for my Nan who has alzheimers. My grandad passed away 7 weeks ago and me and my mum share the care of Nan (I do 3 days and nights a week). Feel a bit overwhelmed with it all at the moment I have a partner, 3 young children and have given up work to do this, so huge change for us all!
Welcome to Talking Point, Carly. Condolences on the loss of your grandad. We can all identify with that feeling of being overwhelmed at first, but you are among people here who can advise and support you. So, feel free to start your own thread when you need anything or just read around other threads while you settle in.
 

Britnic

New member
Aug 4, 2021
1
0
Hello! Im 51 and live in NW England. My mum is 76 and is experiencing signs of dementia. However she became extremely upset when this was brought up last year. My dad is doing a great job looking after her without explicitly referring to her increasing problems. He doesnt see the point of her getting a diagnosis. Any guidance from you guys very welcome! X
Hi Pam, I am Nicki. I am also 51 and my mum is 76 with vascular dementia. Would love to connect.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
8,101
0
Bristol
Hi Pam, I am Nicki. I am also 51 and my mum is 76 with vascular dementia. Would love to connect.
Hullo and welcome to the forum, Nicki. Sorry your mum's condition brings you to us. Without discouraging you from making connections with Pamsdaughter, you will certainly find many others here who are going through similar things. So, post more about your situation and have a read around the threads.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
65,170
0
70
Dundee
Hello Sophie,
My name is Bridge. I am a new member
Welcome to the forum!

I’m glad you have found us and I know you will get a lot of help and support here. Now that you have introduced yourself you might want to tell us a little bit about your situation so that others can respond to you. If you want to you could start a new thread here -


Whatever you decide - please keep posting. There’s always someone here to listen.
 

Knitandpurl

Registered User
Aug 9, 2021
18
0
Hi Thid is the first time I’ve ever done anything like this. My husband has dementia, he was diagnosed with posterior cortical atrophy in early 2018. There have been lots of times it would have been lovely to share with someone who would understand and also I believe I, and we (him and me) have learnt a few things some other people might find helpful. There is only a certain amount you can share with friends and family, I don’t want to seem disloyal, or that I complaining, even though sometimes I am, and also I don’t want to upset his children and grandchildren, I want them to see him as much as himself for as long as possible. He is adamant he s not going to any groups so we can’t meet other people in the same boat as us that way, so that is why I am joining this group. 😀knit and purl
 

Knitandpurl

Registered User
Aug 9, 2021
18
0
Hi Pam, I am Nicki. I am also 51 and my mum is 76 with vascular dementia. Would love to connect.
Hi Pam try and persuade your Dad that he needs to persuade your Mum to get a diagnosis. Trickery or blackmail might be required. My husband has PCA which meant his eyesight was the first obvious problem though I knew he had dementia. He wouldn’t go for diagnosis or give up driving, very scarey, I finally got him to go about his eyesight when I got a recall for a mammogram, I told him I would only go if he would see go about his eyesight! Took awhile to get it, but he was put on Donepezil, and there was a dramatic improvement in his speech, remembering words, and thinking capacity. In 3 years we have only missed a few tablets, but I can tell by mid morning, (he takes them at night). I’m new to the sight too, today in fact. Welcome, it’s nice to know we’re not alone.
 

Greygal

New member
Aug 12, 2021
5
0
Hello!
Myself and my brother have been caring for our Dad for almost 5 years since our Mum died.
Although he’s only recently been diagnosed with vascular dementia (January) it’s clear that he’s had it for a good few years before that.
He has the added complication that he has profound hearing loss which leaves him very isolated as he won’t allow ‘outsiders’ to help, believing that they won’t be able to communicate with him. This in turn heaps the pressure on us.
He’s unable to cook so we’ve been making sure that he has a meal each day.
We do a week each but as I can only go every other day, I cook him a meal one day and eat with him and leave one in the fridge for him to heat in the microwave.
Recently I’ve been finding the meal left in the fridge the next day that I go around - he says that he wasn’t hungry but I suspect he’s forgotten to eat or can no longer use the microwave.
We have cameras installed to keep an eye on him - a few weeks ago I was alerted to the fact that he was going out of the front door at 1.40am, fully clothed.
He thought that it was 1.40 in the afternoon as that’s the time that I go around and he was looking for me.
Thankfully he went back in but I’m constantly on edge as to his safety and can’t sleep for the worry .

We recently had to call an ambulance as he was very dizzy and couldn’t get up - this resulted in a trip to A&E where they found that he had had a minor heart attack.
He’s currently still there but is medically stable for discharge - am waiting to hear from the social team as to what they suggest we do.
When admitted he was deemed to lack capacity but that will be reviewed by the social team as his confusion could have been due to infection etc.
He also had a fall in hospital and was under 24/7 enhanced watch.
I have secured a place in a good care home for him initially for rehab/assessment but he insists he wants to go home.
There’s no way he can cope and myself and my brother can no longer provide the level of care and supervision that he needs.
My concern is if they deem him to have mental capacity then will his wishes trump the dangers that sending him home (albeit with Carers going in) will pose?
I’ve sadly decided to stop visiting him in the hospital as whenever I visit he thinks I’ve come to take him home and gets agitated and angry when I tell him I’m not taking him home.
Sorry to ramble on, but I’d be so grateful if anyone can offer any advice.
Thank you! x
 
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