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Welcome to Dementia Talking Point! Find out more and say hello.

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Meetoo

New member
May 23, 2021
2
0
Hello, I have joined after a chat with a kind Admiral Nurse. Finding it difficult to manage my 93year old husband’s challenging behaviour. Confirmed diagnosis unavailable without his consent. Looking forward to exploring the forums and learning more.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
15,516
0
South coast
Hello @Meetoo and welcome to Dementia Talking Point
Im afraid it is quite common to have difficulty persuading people with dementia to go for diagnosis. Usually you have to use stealth, love lies and reverse psychology!
Yes, do have a mooch around the forums and feel free to join in the conversations. Do remember, though that not everything that you read will happen to you.
If you want to ask advice about your husbands behaviour, then it is probably best to start a new thread so that more people will see it
 

RachelMC123

New member
May 25, 2021
1
0
Hi,
I am new to this and am living with my Mum who has decreased mental capacity and needs 24 hr care. She is in denial and I just need to talk to someone who can support me as this is really hard and new
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
74,099
0
Kent
Hello @RachelMC123

I`m pleased you`ve found this Forum. Caring for someone with dementia can be so lonely.

Please start your own Thread in the forum I care for a person with dementia. It is here;


This means all the replies and support I`m sure you will get will all be in one place.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
15,516
0
South coast
Ah, Granny G beat me too it @RachelMC123
If you post in the section she suggests, more people will see it and if you explain the problems you are having, you will get lots of replies.

PS, welcome from me too
xx
 

Annette. M

New member
Jun 11, 2021
6
0
HI, my name is Annette. My dad was diagnosed with mixed dementia in 2015. He is starting to forget what day it is now.
He has other health problems and I do his shopping and collect his pension. I have power of attorney so this is no problem, but he called me today as he forgot I gave him his money on Tuesday. He virtually accused me of stealing his money.
How do I deal with this? How do I carry on knowing he doesn't trust me?
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,711
0
Hello @Annette. M

It’s the dementia that doesn’t trust you, not your Dad. You are obviously doing a very good job of looking after him. I used to find it best to say something to my mum along the lines of “Oh, goodness, I am such an idiot. It’s all my fault, I forgot . I’ll do it tomorrow” or something similar. Hopefully next time you see your Dad he will have forgotten that he accused you of anything. It’s very hard to deal with. The following link might be useful. Others will be along with their advice, so keep checking in.


You may want to start your own thread in the following forum to receive more replies. Lots of us out here to help you along, so don’t feel lonely.

 

Wrighty1

New member
Jun 16, 2021
1
0
Mum waiting on scan results however memory test reduced from 70 to 20 percent in 4 years anticipating vascular dementia what help is there to help both mum and my dad caring for her?
 

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
1,397
0
73
Devon, Totnes
Mum waiting on scan results however memory test reduced from 70 to 20 percent in 4 years anticipating vascular dementia what help is there to help both mum and my dad caring for her?
I have experience as my wife is now in a home with vascular dementia. I’ve spent the last 5 years looking after her at home and supporting her in the care home. Please ask any questions you like.,You are not alone and although no one’s the same we all have similar experiences. See my thread “Dementia journey “ started back in 2017.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,711
0
Hello @Kirstie wright

My mum is now in the late stages of vascular dementia. She has been in a care home for the past few years but I looked after her myself for a couple of years before that. There are lots of us out here to help you along so, as @Dutchman says just ask any questions you like - or just post to let us know how things are going. There is a great deal of information available on this site but don't assume everything you read about will happen to your mum.

This link might be useful:


When you are ready, you can start your own thread in the forum:

 
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karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,255
0
N Ireland
Hello @Kirstie wright and welcome from me too

The full list of the very informative Factsheets can be found with this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

In particular, you may find the Factsheet that can be found by clicking the following link useful
 

Sussex Lass

New member
Jun 21, 2021
1
0
Hi everyone. Both my parents, in their late 80s, have just been diagnosed with dementia. Mum, mixed type; Dad Alzheimer's. They still live on their own and are very reluctant (to the extent they refuse) help. Beyond Mum's short-term memory loss, I think they are still in denial. What I am unsure of is how progressed the Alzheimer's is. They have not been given any medication and I don't know if that is because it isn't bad enough, they are too old, or if there simply isn't anything suitable. I'm reading lots of information and trying to take things slowly with them. I found this forum and thought it might be helpful. Thank you.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
65,168
0
70
Dundee
Welcome to the forum @Sussex Lass.

I’m sorry to hear about your parents. It must be hard having both your mum and dad with a diagnosis of dementia. I’m sure you’ll find this forum helpful. There’s always someone here to listen and support. You might find it helpful to start a thread of your own, in the I Care For A Person With Dementia area of the forum. It will be somewhere to ask questions, share your concerns and if need be jut to have a rant!
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,711
0
Hello @Sussex Lass

Welcome from me too. That's a lot to deal with. Parents can be pretty stubborn when it comes to asking for, or accepting, help so you are right to take things slowly. Do you have Power of Attorney for Health and Welfare for your parents? If so, you should be able to talk to the GP about any medication which may help with symptoms. Before I had Power of Attorney, I was able to speak to mum's GP as she had signed a letter saying that she was happy with my doing that, so that is another option.

There is a lot of information on the site but don't assume everything you read will happen! There are lots of us out here to help you along, so do post for support and advice. Don't feel lonely.
 

jzw01

Registered User
Jun 12, 2021
98
0
Hello @Sussex Lass

Just to add my welcome. I'm new here too and my wife is just on the edge of needing care, if she was on her own she would need a lot of help but we are managing together.

I know how difficult it is to get someone to accept that they have a problem, they cannot see anything themselves but it becomes obvious to a witness such as yourself.

Just read around TP and you will find many similar experiences so you are not alone. There is a lot of support here just by reading about others, I know it is heling me.
 

allisonk

New member
Jun 27, 2021
1
0
Hello,
My name is Allison and I am 20 years old. This weekend my boyfriend told me his father has early onset Alzheimer's. My great grandmother had Alzheimer's, but I was young when she passed and didn't understand her diagnosis. I am looking for a place to help support my boyfriend and his family. I know I cannot do much, but I want to be there for them in the best way I can. Any advice is appreciated.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,255
0
N Ireland
Hello @allisonk you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done. There is also a Dementia Guide in the list.

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
 

Forgetmeknot

New member
Jun 9, 2021
8
0
Hello - my 90 year old mum was diagnosed with vascular dementia two weeks ago. My dad had lewy body but died of a heart attack 12 years ago before the worst of it all. I am so sad for my mum and struggling to help her understand what is happening. We are waiting for the post diagnosis support call and I am hoping that will help us cope.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,518
0
Hi @Forgetmeknot and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. My mum was also ninety when she received a diagnosis of vascular dementia, though I had suspected things were amiss for a few years before that. You've come to the right place for help and support, this is a very friendly place.
I wonder if these links will be of use to your and your mum?
www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/diagnosis/adjusting-your-diagnosis
www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/types-dementia/vascular-dementia
You might want to start your own thread in the I Care for Someone with Dementia forum. I've certainly found it useful to have somewhere to record all the things that happened since my mum's diagnosis a couple of years ago.
 
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