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Welcome to Dementia Talking Point! Find out more and say hello.

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SophieD

Administrator
Staff member
Mar 21, 2018
3,150
0
London
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point :)

If you have dementia, or care for someone who does, you're very welcome to join our community and get support from others. Find out more about how to join and say hi to our friendly community on this discussion!

Finding out more

If you've got questions about how to use Dementia Talking Point click on these links below.
  • You can find answers to frequently asked questions here.
  • Our Help videos will show you how to navigate the different areas of Dementia Talking Point.
  • We also have a Quick Guide explaining how to use Dementia Talking Point including logging in, posting, replying, checking private messages and searching.
  • Also we recommend having a read through our Guidelines which are some useful tips and things to remember when posting.

Connecting with others

Head over to our list of forums to find people who are in a similar situation, people at a similar stage of dementia or an information topic that interests you.

Here are some tips on how to post a reply or start your own discussion...

1. When you're in a forum, look for the blue "Post New Thread" or "Reply" buttons at the top or bottom of discussions


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2. To start a discussion, type a title, add your message and choose 'Create Thread'.


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3. To add a reply just add your message and choose "Reply"


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Any questions?









If you have any questions about using Dementia Talking Point, you can email us on talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk or Use our Contact Form - we're here to help.

Saying hello

This is our welcome thread - the place many members start. Our volunteer hosts and regular members are here to say hello to you and to welcome you to our community.

Why not tell us a little about your experience and how you'd like Dementia Talking Point to help you?

Whatever you're facing today, we hope you find our community to be helpful and supportive.

Sophie :)
 

NickP

New member
Feb 23, 2021
1
0
Hello
Thank you for letting me join the forum.
My Dad, who is 76 has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. He has had difficulties for a couple of years, but took some persuading to go to the doctor! My mum is caring for him at home, and is now doing pretty much everything. I live about an hour away from them, and am supporting my mum as best I can. We are particualrly focussing on sorting financial stuff first, as Dad has always done this and can no longer do so. We have applied for a LPA for finances but have yet to hear back. We also have the LPA for health forms but haven't finished completing them.
It will be really helpful to ask questions as things come up and to read about what other people are experiencing.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,983
0
N Ireland
Hello @NickP, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done. There is also a Dementia Guide in the list.

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
64,253
0
69
Dundee
Welcome to the forum @NickP

I’m sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis but I’m glad you’ve found this forum. You will find lots of help and support here. There’s a wealth of factsheets a available and these are useful to dip into as and when you need them -


If you feel like it you can start your own thread in the I Care For A Person With Dementia area of the forum. Lots of people do that as they find it useful to have somewhere everything can be kept in one place.

I Care For A Person With Dementia.

Whatever you decide - keep posting!

Keep posting!
 

VJH

New member
Feb 27, 2021
1
0
Hello. My 89 year old mum has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. I am quite relieved to read the posts on the site and to realise that we are not alone in our quest to care for her. We feel that the death of my father closely followed by the pandemic has masked the true extent of mum’s decline.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
7,716
0
Bristol
Hullo and welcome to the community @VJH. Sorry for the loss of your father and for your mum's diagnosed. Good to see you have taken some comfort from knowing you are not alone. So, keep reading and post more details or ask questions when you feel ready.
 

BelleK

New member
Mar 3, 2021
1
0
I feel guilty that I feel I lost mum when dementia took over her life rather than when she died. I want to grieve but feel dementia has robbed me of that and I feel guilty I can’t seem to grieve
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
72,993
0
Kent
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @BelleK

Please accept my condolences on the death of your mother.

Guilt is a common symptom of so many carers who seem to expect to be super human and perfect in every way.

We grieve on diagnosis, we grieve during the progression of the illness and we grieve when they die. There is only so much grieving we can do and only so many tears we can shed.

It sounds as if you have grieved enough. There is no need to continue and no need to feel guilt.

Be a bit kinder to yourself.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,983
0
N Ireland
Hello and welcome from me too @BelleK.

What you may be feeling is called 'anticipatory grief' - grieving for the loss of life as you know it, rather than for a life per se. It's a very common thing and it takes time to get trough it.

When my wife was diagnosed I threw myself into getting our affairs in order and learning as much as possible about dementia and caring. I found that this helped me with that stage.

Do keep posting, even to just express feelings as everyone here will understand.
 

ObiWan

New member
Mar 16, 2021
1
0
Good morning,

I’m really excited to be part of this community.

I’ve actually wanted to be part of it for a while. Strangely though, I think the reason (at a subconscious level) that I haven’t joined until now is because, for me, joining would be the final acknowledgement that my mum’s situation truly isn’t changing. It’s taken me a good couple of years to reach this place of acceptance(ish).

My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2014. I wrote an article (As a Leader, What Do You Do When Life Hurts?) a few years ago describing the moment that it first hit me that something was up and some of the pain and turmoil since then.

It’s been and continues to be a painful and emotionally tumultuous road. My sister and I moved mum into a home just before Christmas 2020. That was tough! Even more so because we were then hit with the national lockdown and couldn’t visit her for a good 3 months!

Fortunately, my sister got to see her two weeks ago and I got to see my mum on Sunday 14th March (Mother’s Day).

It was such a bittersweet experience. She's deteriorated so much... She recognised me though, which I was very grateful for.

Anyway, I’d love to know if there are specific online (Zoom) groups where we can talk, share experiences and get support from one another.

Over the years, I’ve talked with family and friends, but I really feel it’s time to be part of a group where people know more intimately and personally what I’m going through.

Sincerely,

Obi
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,818
0
Hi @ObiWan and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. This is a very friendly and supportive community.
I know what you mean about not wanting to acknowledge that a loved one has dementia. For a long time I thought mum's behaviours were just her natural personality becoming more exaggerated as she aged. I think she was quite a long way down the dementia path before I accepted it for what it was. Mum has been in a care home for nearly two years. Things have been so difficult with care homes over the last year, but hopefully over the next few months things will being to return to normal and you will be able to visit your mother more easily, but it's good that you managed to see her on Mother's Day. Mum has declined over the last two years, but I know she is safe and well cared for and those are the most important things Before lockdown the staff and residents of mum's home were beginning to feel like an extended family and I enjoyed going and taking part in activities and even leading a few.
We don't have on line Zoom groups, at least not yet, but you might want to start your own thread in the 'I Care for a Person with Dementia' forum. It's a useful way to keep a diary of what is happening with your mother and for others to chat with you about their own experiences.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
7,716
0
Bristol
Hullo and welcome to the community @ObiWan. My partner's children have been a bit slow to accept what is happening to their mum, so you are not alone.
My local carers support centre runs monthly zoom meetings to replace the old monthly dementia carers meetings, have a look on http://carers.org for your nearest centre. Though, as @Sarasa wrote this is a good place to get support as there's usually someone around who knows what you are dealing with.
 
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