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Welcome to Dementia Talking Point! Find out more and say hello.

SophieD

Administrator
Staff member
Mar 21, 2018
2,598
London
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point :)

If you have dementia, or care for someone who does, you're very welcome to join our community and get support from others. Find out more about how to join and say hi to our friendly community on this discussion!

Finding out more

If you've got questions about how to use Dementia Talking Point click on these links below.
  • You can find answers to frequently asked questions here.
  • Our Help videos will show you how to navigate the different areas of Dementia Talking Point.
  • We also have a Quick Guide explaining how to use Dementia Talking Point including logging in, posting, replying, checking private messages and searching.
  • Also we recommend having a read through our Guidelines which are some useful tips and things to remember when posting.

Connecting with others

Head over to our list of forums to find people who are in a similar situation, people at a similar stage of dementia or an information topic that interests you.

Here are some tips on how to post a reply or start your own discussion...

1. When you're in a forum, look for the blue "Post New Thread" or "Reply" buttons at the top or bottom of discussions













2. To start a discussion, type a title, add your message and choose 'Create Thread'.





3. To add a reply just add your message and choose "Reply"





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Any questions?






If you have any questions about using Dementia Talking Point, you can email us on talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk or Use our Contact Form - we're here to help.

Saying hello

This is our welcome thread - the place many members start. Our volunteer hosts and regular members are here to say hello to you and to welcome you to our community.

Why not tell us a little about your experience and how you'd like Dementia Talking Point to help you?

Whatever you're facing today, we hope you find our community to be helpful and supportive.

Sophie :)
 

Chihuaha

New member
Oct 21, 2020
9
Hello all

I am trying to understand the the signs before the early stage if that makes sense ?
im seeing a lot of personality changes in a person close to me and for some time now I am suspecting dementia, but I just don’t know.


Thank you
 
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Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
63,223
69
Dundee
Good morning @Chihuaha and welcome to the forum.

If possible I think it would be advisable to get a check up from the GP. I know this might not be easy given the current Covid circumstances and whether the person you’re posting about would be willing to discuss the situation with the GP.

It’s concerning that you may be facing violence. You mention another close relative who shares your concern Is it possible that both of you could try to talk to your loved one about the situation? Another thought is that the GP may be willing to talk to you about your concerns. Without Power of Attorney they may not be willing to discuss the situation with you but it would be good to let them know what you are observing.

This NHS website gives some information on early signs -

 

Chihuaha

New member
Oct 21, 2020
9
Thank you Izzy.
he didn’t hurt me but it was the intent and action that concerned me as so unlike him
I will tentatively look into your suggestions
thank you
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
63,223
69
Dundee
Thank you Izzy.
he didn’t hurt me but it was the intent and action that concerned me as so unlike him
I will tentatively look into your suggestions
thank you
You might find it helpful to talk with someone on the Dementia Connect Support Line -

 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
847
Hello @Chihuaha . I hope things are calmer today.

I think you are right to also consider depression as a factor. The current restrictions are causing a lot of mental health issues and may be exacerbating existing ones. This link might be useful for you to look through. Keep us posted on how you are doing:

 

Chihuaha

New member
Oct 21, 2020
9
Trouble is not knowing, it’s so difficult I keep giving benefit of doubt ......
 
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Mr B.

New member
Oct 22, 2020
2
Hello new to forum my wife has dementia and we have been sailing along fine and then in the space of a month all change and I'm struggling to care for her so nice to have somewhere to seek advice and unload.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
847
Hello @Mr B. Well done for sailing along! I'll say the usual thing about checking for urine infections if there has been a rapid change. Do you have any support from family or carers?
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
63,223
69
Dundee
Welcome to the forum @MrB. I’m glad you’ve found us and I know you will get lots of help and support here.

When you’re ready you might want to think about starting your own thread to tell us more about how things are going with your wife. Some members do that so that their own posts and replies are all in one place. If you want to you could start one in the I Have A Partner With Dementia area.

Whatever you decide - keep posting!
 

Mr B.

New member
Oct 22, 2020
2
Hello @Mr B. Well done for sailing along! I'll say the usual thing about checking for urine infections if there has been a rapid change. Do you have any support from family or carers?
Managed to get over the phone doctors consult blood tests next week feel so dumb about the sailing along bit calm before the storm paying for my nievity now I am the carer and her son and daughter can't handle it as she doesn't know who they are and is very rude to them.
 

Jane42

New member
Oct 23, 2020
2
Cheshire
Hey!

I’m here because I’m struggling a bit....
My 87yr old dad has been diagnosed with vascular dementia - after doing some research, this forum was mentioned on the NHS website..... so here I am!
In the past 3 months he has completely changed as a person and is now reliant on my 83yr mum (who has her own health issues) and myself. I’m trying to do what I can for them both but am finding it increasingly difficult. I’m looking for some advice from others who have trodden the boards and I’m wondering what options will be available for care in their own home initially - they’ve had several mobility aids added to the house and we’ve been given social services number from the memory team for ‘when we need it’ but that’s it....

Thanks for reading 😊
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
7,204
Bristol
Welcome to the forum @Jane42.
So much advice and support available to you here, so you don't need to struggle alone. As you have the number for Social Services it would be good to call them on Monday to request a care assessment for your dad and a care needs assessment for you or for your mum. My partner has vascular dementia and she has care visits every morning and evening to help with bathing and getting ready for bed. That helps her and takes some of the strain off me. Tell them your dad is a vulnerable adult and to a degree so is your mum.
So much more to suggest, but that would be my first step in your difficult situation.
 

Jane42

New member
Oct 23, 2020
2
Cheshire
Welcome to the forum @Jane42.
So much advice and support available to you here, so you don't need to struggle alone. As you have the number for Social Services it would be good to call them on Monday to request a care assessment for your dad and a care needs assessment for you or for your mum. My partner has vascular dementia and she has care visits every morning and evening to help with bathing and getting ready for bed. That helps her and takes some of the strain off me. Tell them your dad is a vulnerable adult and to a degree so is your mum.
So much more to suggest, but that would be my first step in your difficult situation.
Thank you nae sporran for your reply and advice. I’ll take a good look around the site, I’m sure it’ll help just knowing I’m not alone.
Many thanks...

J
 

Saz_CaringForMum

New member
Nov 8, 2020
2
Hello everyone,

My mum is 57 and was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's around 3.5years ago; shortly after retiring and moving to ROI to live closer to her family. After her diagnosis, her brother & sister in law were set up as EPA's and unfortunately over time the relationship between us all broke down. I don't think they ever really accepted my Mum's diagnosis - despite being psychiatric nurses - they referred to mum's Alzheimer's as a mental health issue rather than a disease; they grew frustrated if she ate anything unhealthy or wasn't losing weight and didn't complete daily tasks to the point where my Mum would be in tears worried that she was doing things 'wrong'. It got to the point where every month I was flying out to stay for 1-2weeks and her carers even raised concerns over her wellbeing with the family. In January they decided they could no longer support the idea of Mum being in Ireland living on her own, and that she would have to move back to the UK with either myself & my boyfriend or my brother & his wife. I was living in a 2nd floor flat in London, and my brother, also living in a flat, did not think he could support her without moving into a larger home -which financially he could not afford (he's only 24).

So, Covid hit; my Mum deteriorated; and then suddenly we had the opportunity to move to Newcastle; into a larger home with enough space and we were able to move my Mum across between lockdowns.
She's motivated and seems to be much happier, and even more independent - which is the best thing I could've asked for as I'd feared the changes might have made things worse.

The problem is I haven't heard back from social services - I applied for a needs assessment back at the beginning of October; and managing a house move, working full-time and caring for my Mum full-time is taking its toll. I help her get ready and washed in the morning; I support her in staying independent but I'm very aware this is affecting my mental wellbeing. I'm 27, and I worry that my boyfriend and I aren't spending enough time together as a couple. So I'm hoping TalkingPoint will be my place to get advice and support.