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Welcome to Dementia Talking Point! Find out more and say hello.

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SophieD

Administrator
Staff member
Mar 21, 2018
2,478
London
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point :)

If you have dementia, or care for someone who does, you're very welcome to join our community and get support from others. Find out more about how to join and say hi to our friendly community on this discussion!

Finding out more

If you've got questions about how to use Dementia Talking Point click on these links below.
  • You can find answers to frequently asked questions here.
  • Our Help videos will show you how to navigate the different areas of Dementia Talking Point.
  • We also have a Quick Guide explaining how to use Dementia Talking Point including logging in, posting, replying, checking private messages and searching.
  • Also we recommend having a read through our Guidelines which are some useful tips and things to remember when posting.

Connecting with others

Head over to our list of forums to find people who are in a similar situation, people at a similar stage of dementia or an information topic that interests you.

Here are some tips on how to post a reply or start your own discussion...

1. When you're in a forum, look for the blue "Post New Thread" or "Reply" buttons at the top or bottom of discussions












2. To start a discussion, type a title, add your message and choose 'Create Thread'.





3. To add a reply just add your message and choose "Reply"





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Any questions?





If you have any questions about using Dementia Talking Point, you can email us on talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk or Use our Contact Form - we're here to help.

Saying hello

This is our welcome thread - the place many members start. Our volunteer hosts and regular members are here to say hello to you and to welcome you to our community.

Why not tell us a little about your experience and how you'd like Dementia Talking Point to help you?

Whatever you're facing today, we hope you find our community to be helpful and supportive.

Sophie :)
 

Sheena007

New member
Sep 22, 2020
1
Hi ... My Dad has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's (confirmed today!) He moved in with us on 1st June as my lovely Mum passed away after a Brain Tumour, I moved in with them to care for Mum cos Dad just couldnt manage, he was under investigations for memory issues, but has just been been confirmed after his PET Scan that he has Alzheimer's, I'm not sure what to do about living arrangements. We were thinking of a lodge in the garden, so he will get his own independence a little, we get more privacy, plus if he needs carers at a later date, I'd prefer them to go to his lodge rather than my house ... I have three young girls, so have to think of them too ... but I dont want to just ship Dad off to a nursing home (altho he'd not bad enough yet for that I dont feel anyway) so thinking a lodge in the garden is ideal as I can still care and he is close by but i can get extra help in when needed too ... but I did post on a facebook group and a few people said you can't put him in your garden, I wouldnt like that etc etc I was hoping to connect with either Age UK or Alzheimers UK to build a relationship with them and us ... so they can advise once they get to know us, our situation etc but not sure how or if they do that ?
Sorry for the waffle x
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
7,095
Bristol
Welcome to DTP Sheena @Sheena007. Sorry for your dad's diagnosis, but you will find support and advice here from others on the same road.
On the practical side, if you contact your local authority for a care needs assessment for your dad and a carers assessment for yourself you will find out what help you can get. It takes a while, so may as well get in touch as soon as practical. I don't know what support the Alzheimer's Society can offer you locally, but if you contact Dementia Connect someone can point you in the right direction via https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementiaconnect
 

Onename

New member
Sep 28, 2020
5
Hello all, only child caring for mum who is 90 after dad died nearly three years ago. Luckily mum lives only 10 mins walk away. She has serious mobility problems due to osteoporosis and arthritis and old knee and leg injury. Just been diagnosed with vascular dementia. It is time I sought out my own supports now before it gets out of hand. I am lucky, so far mum is stubborn and independent and has a brill care agency one hour seven mornings a week. I may need support to introduce her to more activities to help keep her brain active. She has never been a joiner or had personal friends. But I appreciate it is early days. I look forward to being a forum member.
 

Onename

New member
Sep 28, 2020
5
PS. I never thought it would be so hard thinking up a nickname for myself!
I found that if you have more than £23,000 plus, the social services will not do a care assessment for my mum. They would only send me a list of private care agencies. I have managed to get mum good OT and Physio services post a hospital admission though. I have registered with our County Carers Group though. I carry a special Carers Card for emergencies if I have an accident. I visit mum every day.
 

Afroze

New member
Sep 29, 2020
1
Thank you for the welcome message, elsewhere.
I’ve replied to it- hopefully, in the right place. I have asked for some suggestions on autobiographical reading on dementia- the type that’s increasingly coming out on cancer experience. Just wanted to say that I joined only an hour or so ago, but have already found some threads on behavior and difficulties in obtaining a diagnosis so useful. My partner has dementia.
 

Sheila SC

New member
Sep 30, 2020
1
Maidstone
Hi Everyone, my name is Sheila and I have just joined this forum. My husband was diagnosed with Alzehimer's in 2018. However, since lock down his Alzehimer's has really declined rapidly, so much so that I could notice the changed on a weekly basis. His needs grew rapidly. I work fulltime so have been struggling to look after him. Anyway, he ended up going to hospital last bank holiday weekend. He is fine but they kept him in for 2 weeks as they knew I was not coping. He then got moved to a care home in Dover for 3 weeks to an assssment bed, pending assessment. They assessed him last Saturday and it was very clear he needs to move into a care home permanently as he needs 24/7 supervision. We did not even have a best interest meeting as I agreed with them.
I am now waiting for someone to contact me to do a means test and for KCC to provide me with a list of 3 care homes to pick from. I live in Maidstone and am not confident driving further a field so I am really hoping they will have at least one care home on the list close to home which is not too much above the KCC guide price.
Do any of you have any experience of care homes near Maidstone, their fees and what they are like please?
Thank you.
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
386
Hi Everyone, my name is Sheila and I have just joined this forum. My husband was diagnosed with Alzehimer's in 2018. However, since lock down his Alzehimer's has really declined rapidly, so much so that I could notice the changed on a weekly basis. His needs grew rapidly. I work fulltime so have been struggling to look after him. Anyway, he ended up going to hospital last bank holiday weekend. He is fine but they kept him in for 2 weeks as they knew I was not coping. He then got moved to a care home in Dover for 3 weeks to an assssment bed, pending assessment. They assessed him last Saturday and it was very clear he needs to move into a care home permanently as he needs 24/7 supervision. We did not even have a best interest meeting as I agreed with them.
I am now waiting for someone to contact me to do a means test and for KCC to provide me with a list of 3 care homes to pick from. I live in Maidstone and am not confident driving further a field so I am really hoping they will have at least one care home on the list close to home which is not too much above the KCC guide price.
Do any of you have any experience of care homes near Maidstone, their fees and what they are like please?
Thank you.
[/QUOTE

Hi @Sheila SC and welcome to the forum.
Things have moved very fast for you haven’t they and I imagine your head is all over the place.
I’ve attached a link where you can search for care homes in your area and look up the recent Care Quality Commission Report to see how they perform, hope it helps and good luck
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
386
Hi Everyone, my name is Sheila and I have just joined this forum. My husband was diagnosed with Alzehimer's in 2018. However, since lock down his Alzehimer's has really declined rapidly, so much so that I could notice the changed on a weekly basis. His needs grew rapidly. I work fulltime so have been struggling to look after him. Anyway, he ended up going to hospital last bank holiday weekend. He is fine but they kept him in for 2 weeks as they knew I was not coping. He then got moved to a care home in Dover for 3 weeks to an assssment bed, pending assessment. They assessed him last Saturday and it was very clear he needs to move into a care home permanently as he needs 24/7 supervision. We did not even have a best interest meeting as I agreed with them.
I am now waiting for someone to contact me to do a means test and for KCC to provide me with a list of 3 care homes to pick from. I live in Maidstone and am not confident driving further a field so I am really hoping they will have at least one care home on the list close to home which is not too much above the KCC guide price.
Do any of you have any experience of care homes near Maidstone, their fees and what they are like please?
Thank you.

Hi @Sheila SC and welcome to the forum.
Things have moved very fast for you haven’t they and I imagine your head is all over the place.
I’ve attached a link where you can search for care homes in your area and look up the recent Care Quality Commission Report to see how they perform, hope it helps and good luck

 

Min Cheltenham

New member
Sep 21, 2020
2
Hi

my mum has vascular dementia and my brother and I are working together to make her living at home work.
Covid has made it difficult and she has definitely deteriorated.. We were struggling to stop her going to the shops as she forgets what’s going on. We has the foresight to get the LPA for both financial and medical done early and she updated her will before she deteriorated.
My brother and I are finding the constant repetition and behaviour a struggle and I am hoping to find some ways to help manage myself and help mum.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,830
Hi @Min Cheltenham and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. This is a great, place to be, and you'll get lots of help and advice as well as a listening ear and a supportive shoulder.
It sounds like you've got a lot in place to support your mum already. My mother also has vascular dementia I was glad my brother and I managed to sort out LPA early too.
Have a look round at some of the posts here. I found reading other people's experiences really helped when I first joined this forum.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
682
Hello @Min Cheltenham . My mum also has vascular dementia (probably - we never did get a formal diagnosis). She is in a care home now but we muddled along for 2 years before that with me supporting her. There will be lots of support and advice for you here, so ask anything you need to ask, say anything you need to say. You are very welcome.
 

Min Cheltenham

New member
Sep 21, 2020
2
Hello @Min Cheltenham . My mum also has vascular dementia (probably - we never did get a formal diagnosis). She is in a care home now but we muddled along for 2 years before that with me supporting her. There will be lots of support and advice for you here, so ask anything you need to ask, say anything you need to say. You are very welcome.
Thank you
 

Ant Ryder

New member
Oct 5, 2020
2
Hi my partner has levy body dementia / Parkinson’s for about 11 months since diagnosis, but hardly talks , is this normal, and noe eating a fair bit of chocolate a day . I had to give up my job last year to care for her. The last three days have been a nightmare With her cleanliness and behaviour. Also she goes to bed atv10 o clock up again at11.00 pm till 3/4 in morning is this normal . Any replies to this would be good
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
7,095
Bristol
Welcome to the forum @Ant Ryder. That does seem hard on you both. Sorry, I have no experience of your partner's behaviour or of Parkinson's and my phone restricts what links I can post.
If you post again on the section 'I have a partner with dementia' you should have more replies from our knowledgeable members though. Best of luck and keep in touch.
 
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