• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Welcome to Dementia Talking Point! Find out more and say hello.

Status
Not open for further replies.

SophieD

Administrator
Staff member
Mar 21, 2018
2,500
London
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point :)

If you have dementia, or care for someone who does, you're very welcome to join our community and get support from others. Find out more about how to join and say hi to our friendly community on this discussion!

Finding out more

If you've got questions about how to use Dementia Talking Point click on these links below.
  • You can find answers to frequently asked questions here.
  • Our Help videos will show you how to navigate the different areas of Dementia Talking Point.
  • We also have a Quick Guide explaining how to use Dementia Talking Point including logging in, posting, replying, checking private messages and searching.
  • Also we recommend having a read through our Guidelines which are some useful tips and things to remember when posting.

Connecting with others

Head over to our list of forums to find people who are in a similar situation, people at a similar stage of dementia or an information topic that interests you.

Here are some tips on how to post a reply or start your own discussion...

1. When you're in a forum, look for the blue "Post New Thread" or "Reply" buttons at the top or bottom of discussions











2. To start a discussion, type a title, add your message and choose 'Create Thread'.





3. To add a reply just add your message and choose "Reply"





---

Any questions?




If you have any questions about using Dementia Talking Point, you can email us on talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk or Use our Contact Form - we're here to help.

Saying hello

This is our welcome thread - the place many members start. Our volunteer hosts and regular members are here to say hello to you and to welcome you to our community.

Why not tell us a little about your experience and how you'd like Dementia Talking Point to help you?

Whatever you're facing today, we hope you find our community to be helpful and supportive.

Sophie :)
 

mintyneb

New member
Aug 22, 2020
2
Hi,

my 81 year old mum finally got to see a neurologist yesterday after months of waiting and is now being referred for a brain scan to diagnose - I am guessing - some kind of dementia.

I've noticed changes in her memory for the last 3-4 years (written off as just being 'old age' by other members of the family) and she has had mobility problems for the last couple - sudden losses of balance, bending over and shuffling when walking etc. She now uses a walking stick just to walk around the garden - this is someone who used to walk in the alps only 5-6 years ago

Now she has become extremely apathetic, she's no interest in any of her hobbies, leaves all the cooking and housework to my father and can get confused quite easily. Dad has said that he wouldn't be happy with her out of the house on her own and I doubt she would be able to make a meal from scratch on her own any more

I fear that these are all signs of dementia and am really looking for suggestions of how I can help both of my parents. They have friends but haven't seen anyone since lock down started and with my mum losing interest in everything she used to do to keep her busy I'm worried that without any stimulation she could go downhill quite quickly.

What should my dad do to help keep her engaged? what can I do from a distance? any advice would be gratefully received
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,652
N Ireland
Hello @mintyneb you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done. There is also a Dementia Guide in the list. There is also a Factsheet dealing with apathy, anxiety and depression (common in dementia) that may be of interest

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
 

mintyneb

New member
Aug 22, 2020
2
Many thanks for your reply.

I've started working my way through the website but I'll take a look at the links you've recommended. Theres all so much to take in right now!
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,652
N Ireland
Many thanks for your reply.

I've started working my way through the website but I'll take a look at the links you've recommended. Theres all so much to take in right now!
It's a steep learning curve but this site is a better resource than any of the leaflets the professionals tend to dish out when a person has been diagnosed.

Ask just about any question you like on here and someone will produce an answer.
 

Catherine H

New member
Aug 25, 2020
4
Hi - I'm here because my dad has vascular dementia - diagnosis in Feb 2017 but exhibiting symptoms way before then. He's still living at home with my mum but we are pretty much at the point of being unable to cope and having to navigate the social care system, which seems stacked against us most of the time.... I'm here for support and to ask questions. Thanks in advance.
 

Minniepippa

New member
Aug 29, 2020
8
Hello, my 92 year old mum has just gone into care after living in her own home with a care package in place. She was diagnosed with MCI a couple of years ago, but we have noticed a decline , it's been gradual, but nevertheless it's there. I would say she has mild dementia, we (brother and I) are finding this all very difficult. With covid, we can only visit once a week for half an hour, masked up, and it feels we have gone from all to nothing. Having said that, she has settled well, seems content, loves the food and has made friends. Our heads tell us this is the right thing to do but our hearts tell us we have lost a chunk of our mum.
So it will be very helpful and comforting to join this forum to know we are not the only ones!
Thank you.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
63,055
69
Dundee
Welcome to the forum @Minniepippa.

I’m sorry to hear about your mum. It’s heartbreaking watching someone decline. I’m glad you’ve found the forum and I know you will get lots of help and support here.

Keep posting!
 

Juliet R

New member
Aug 30, 2020
1
Hello, I'm Juliet and am looking for information, advice and support regarding how best to support my mother who has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, having had a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment 12 months ago. She is 86 and lives on her own for part of the week, my brother staying with her 3 or 4 days a week. I live 100 miles away and am trying my best to do what I can. Some days to be better than others for my mother; she is in the early stages of dementia but some days I feel her decline seems to be quite quick. I'm very worried about her and hope to find information and support here.
 

Bramleylass

New member
Aug 9, 2020
1
Hello, I’m a new member with a husband who was part way diagnosed before we moved from Cumbria to Yorkshire. We now have to start the referral business all over again which has been paused with Covid. His condition is slowly deteriorating and I wondered if other members could help with my problem. An MRI scan is needed to help confirm the diagnosis, this will not happen for some long time, is it OK or advisable to go private for this to speed the whole thing up? Thanks for any advice..
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,965
Kent
Hello @Bramleylass

I can`t see anything wrong in having a scan done privately if you can, to speed things up. You will be given proof of the results of the scan and can then proceed from there.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
63,055
69
Dundee
Hello, I'm Juliet and am looking for information, advice and support regarding how best to support my mother who has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, having had a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment 12 months ago. She is 86 and lives on her own for part of the week, my brother staying with her 3 or 4 days a week. I live 100 miles away and am trying my best to do what I can. Some days to be better than others for my mother; she is in the early stages of dementia but some days I feel her decline seems to be quite quick. I'm very worried about her and hope to find information and support here.
Welcome to the forum @Juliet R.

It must be hard for you living so far away from your mother.

I’m glad you found this forum and know you will get help and support here. You might want to consider starting your own thread in the I Care For A Person With Dementia area of the forum. This way you can ask questions/share concerns etc and keep all of your responses in one place.

Keep posting.
 

Blue Fushia

New member
Sep 9, 2020
1
Hi, my 91 year old Mum has just been diagnosed with dementia ("probably Alzheimers"). We've noticed memory lapses over the last 12/18 months but in June she had a bad fall and this has accelerated everything. She also has arthritis which makes mobility a problem. Fortunately my husband and I are retired and Mum has a large house so we have moved in with her to care for her.
Most household tasks are beyond her now and incontinence is a major issue. But another problem is that she seems to get bored and constantly wants company unless she is asleep. Now restrictions are eased we take her out a few times a week and have her friends round for coffee. She's never watched much TV, following plots are beyond her. Music doesn't really help and the news causes anxiety so we try to avoid news broadcasts. Mum will try to read the morning newspaper but jigsaw puzzles/ word search are too difficult. Has anyone any tips how to occupy her so we aren't constantly being called and can get on with other stuff that has to be done? Thanks
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
63,055
69
Dundee
Welcome to the forum @Blue Fushia.

You might find some activities for your mum here. Having said that my husband could do very little without someone to sit with him and support him with activities.

 

Only_me

New member
Sep 17, 2020
2
Hi it's Only_me. Just signed up to this forum. We have mother-in-law living next door to us in Devon. She enjoys a degree of autonomy, and still manages to shop, cook, do laundry and look after herself with a bit of help from 'next door'. She used to live far away in Kent, and could not cope, so when the next door property came on the market we persuaded her to make the move. She has serious short-term memory and difficulty expressing herself verbally. The important thing is that she knows she is loved and cared for; so much better than being put into a carehome prematurely. The main daily problem is when she can't find things she accuses her daughter of taking them. Today it was different; I got her anger and blame for taking her lower dentures! All is well again by the evening.
 

nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
8,874
leicester
Hi @Only_me welcome to DTP
I’m pleased to read that MIL is settled next door that must be a relief!
The accusations of things being stolen will probably continue to escalate but it sounds like you have strategies in place to deal with that.
now you have found the forum I hope you will continue to post this is an informative and friendly place to share experiences
 

Only_me

New member
Sep 17, 2020
2
Hello, I'm Juliet and am looking for information, advice and support regarding how best to support my mother who has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, having had a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment 12 months ago. She is 86 and lives on her own for part of the week, my brother staying with her 3 or 4 days a week. I live 100 miles away and am trying my best to do what I can. Some days to be better than others for my mother; she is in the early stages of dementia but some days I feel her decline seems to be quite quick. I'm very worried about her and hope to find information and support here.
I understand your problem, we had the same worry with mother-in-law living on her own a day's journey away. She is of similar age. We thought of several ideas to avoid her being put in a carehome far from family. She did not want to give up her old home. One solution was for my wife, her brother and myself to take turns on a tri-weekly rota caring for her by staying in her home. We also searched for an affordable property near us that could be split to give her private space. In the end the property next to us became available and amazingly she agreed to move in and give up the home she had worked hard to buy over many years. It is important for you to consolidate the family sooner rather than later, your mum will increasing lose capacity, and the worry for you will get worse with her being far away.
 

JMW1

New member
Sep 19, 2020
2
Hello.
My mum has just been prescribed donezepil after being assessed at home about two weeks ago, by her local memory clinic.
I have this information from her over the phone, she has not explicitly told me her diagnosis. She has been experiencing gradually increasing thinking and memory problems for a few years, she was assessed by memory health services two years ago. She was 80 years old last May. I haven't seen her since Christmas but we speak on the phone regularly. She lives alone and has one or two friends that she sees and occasionally my nephew. Of course I am concerned about how to do my best by her.
I have joined this forum as a starting point as I'm sure I'll be seeking information and advice at some point soon.
By the way, she told me today that she hasn't started on the meds yet as she has read all the side effects and it's put her off. She remembers her sister (now deceased) , taking the same drug and is fearful of incontinence.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.