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Welcome to Dementia Talking Point! Find out more and say hello.

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SophieD

Administrator
Staff member
Mar 21, 2018
2,217
London
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point :)

If you have dementia, or care for someone who does, you're very welcome to join our community and get support from others. Find out more about how to join and say hi to our friendly community on this discussion!

Finding out more

If you've got questions about how to use Dementia Talking Point click on these links below.
  • You can find answers to frequently asked questions here.
  • Our Help videos will show you how to navigate the different areas of Dementia Talking Point.
  • We also have a Quick Guide explaining how to use Dementia Talking Point including logging in, posting, replying, checking private messages and searching.
  • Also we recommend having a read through our Guidelines which are some useful tips and things to remember when posting.

Connecting with others

Head over to our list of forums to find people who are in a similar situation, people at a similar stage of dementia or an information topic that interests you.

Here are some tips on how to post a reply or start your own discussion...

1. When you're in a forum, look for the blue "Post New Thread" or "Reply" buttons at the top or bottom of discussions















2. To start a discussion, type a title, add your message and choose 'Create Thread'.






3. To add a reply just add your message and choose "Reply"






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Any questions?





If you have any questions about using Dementia Talking Point, you can email us on talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk or Use our Contact Form - we're here to help.

Saying hello

This is our welcome thread - the place many members start. Our volunteer hosts and regular members are here to say hello to you and to welcome you to our community.

Why not tell us a little about your experience and how you'd like Dementia Talking Point to help you?

Whatever you're facing today, we hope you find our community to be helpful and supportive.

Sophie :)
 

SaraTee

New member
May 29, 2020
3
Hello everyone.
I have been visting the forum for a while now, just when things get bad, or change significantly, and I somehow feel that now may be the time to join. Only in the last few days has it become apparent that mum no longer realises I am her daughter - she knows that she knows me, she knows that I 'have always been there' but has no idea who she is to me or I am to her. I suspect this might have been the case for a little while now, but have only just been brave enough to confirm the situation in the last couple of days. She has never had a formal diagnosis as she refused to submit to any tests or assessments, and we have no carers, though she still lives on her own with her dog. My husband and I go round twice daily, as much to check on the dog as her as she just can't feed him any longer. I suppose I feel we are almost at the stage where carers should be going in occasionally to start with, building up to daily as this disease progresses, but of course, this is going to be very difficult because of covid, so we just keep going as we are and hope things don't deteriorate too fast. Also, it has been easier for us as we are self employed, and have had more time on our hands because of covid, I fear for what will happen when we start to work fully again, as we often have to be away overnight. I don't really know why I am pouring all this out, I suppose it is helping me to accept that I need a bit of support even if it's just at the end of keyboard and I feel better knowing that if I really am ever at my wit's end, I am already registered. Thank you for reading this.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,132
Yorkshire
hello @SaraTee
a warm welcome to DTP
really glad that reading posts has been a support to you already

pouring it all out is exactly what we're here for ... members understand and sympathise, making DTP a safe place to say whatever is on your mind

now you've started, keep posting !
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
62,079
69
Dundee
Also a welcome from me @SaraTee. I’m glad you have found this forum and I know you will get lots of help and support here.
 

Whisperer

Registered User
Mar 27, 2017
147
Hampshire
Hello everyone.
I have been visting the forum for a while now, just when things get bad, or change significantly, and I somehow feel that now may be the time to join. Only in the last few days has it become apparent that mum no longer realises I am her daughter - she knows that she knows me, she knows that I 'have always been there' but has no idea who she is to me or I am to her. I suspect this might have been the case for a little while now, but have only just been brave enough to confirm the situation in the last couple of days. She has never had a formal diagnosis as she refused to submit to any tests or assessments, and we have no carers, though she still lives on her own with her dog. My husband and I go round twice daily, as much to check on the dog as her as she just can't feed him any longer. I suppose I feel we are almost at the stage where carers should be going in occasionally to start with, building up to daily as this disease progresses, but of course, this is going to be very difficult because of covid, so we just keep going as we are and hope things don't deteriorate too fast. Also, it has been easier for us as we are self employed, and have had more time on our hands because of covid, I fear for what will happen when we start to work fully again, as we often have to be away overnight. I don't really know why I am pouring all this out, I suppose it is helping me to accept that I need a bit of support even if it's just at the end of keyboard and I feel better knowing that if I really am ever at my wit's end, I am already registered. Thank you for reading this.
Hello Sara Tee

Please let me answer your post. You have hit an important nail on the head. This forum provides guidance, support in bad moments, place to let of steam safely, a welcoming non judgemental sounding board. I note quite a few people have joined recently, with all the problems of lockdown magnifying caring concerns. Please do come back when you feel the need. For others who may read threads but do not join I say hello as well to you. If it works for you at that level for now then great. Sooner or later you might need to post, but that will be another day.
 

TCMD

New member
Jun 12, 2020
2
Hi I’m a new member to this forum. My mother came to live with us a year ago, she has vascular dementia and rheumatoid arthritis, lately she’s become more agitated and angry especially towards our 11year old son who has learning difficulties. This only happens when she thinks no one is around. My question is how should I handle the situation, as my instinct is to defend my son , when I ask mum what the problem is she just waffles and makes no sense . TIA
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,127
Welcome to the forum @TCMD you'll find lots of support and useful information here. I'm afraid that dementia and young children are not a good mix, and of course you want to protect your son. In cases of a sudden change in behaviour such as agitation/anger I would usually suggest that this could be a sign of an infection but as you say that this only happens when other people aren't around it doesn't appear to be the case here. It's difficult to know what to suggest other than to ensure that your son is not left alone with your mother, although a chat with the GP may result in a medication review to see whether this helps. Keep posting and I'm sure that others will be along soon with more help & advice.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
6,935
Bristol
Hi I’m a new member to this forum. My mother came to live with us a year ago, she has vascular dementia and rheumatoid arthritis, lately she’s become more agitated and angry especially towards our 11year old son who has learning difficulties. This only happens when she thinks no one is around. My question is how should I handle the situation, as my instinct is to defend my son , when I ask mum what the problem is she just waffles and makes no sense . TIA

Hullo and welcome from me too, TCMD. As Lousie says it is a hard situation for everyone. Have you had a carers assessment and a care needs assessment from Social Services. They can help with extra care support or respite if that would take some of the strain away. It is also worth calling Dementia Connect to see if they can offer support.
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementiaconnect will give you the details.
 

TCMD

New member
Jun 12, 2020
2
Welcome to the forum @TCMD you'll find lots of support and useful information here. I'm afraid that dementia and young children are not a good mix, and of course you want to protect your son. In cases of a sudden change in behaviour such as agitation/anger I would usually suggest that this could be a sign of an infection but as you say that this only happens when other people aren't around it doesn't appear to be the case here. It's difficult to know what to suggest other than to ensure that your son is not left alone with your mother, although a chat with the GP may result in a medication review to see whether this helps. Keep posting and I'm sure that others will be along soon with more help & advice.
Thankyou
 

Victoria16

New member
Jun 13, 2020
3
Hi. I'm a new member. My Dad has vascular dementia and I was just looking for somewhere to be able to share my experiences with and get advise from also. My Dad was diagnosed 3 years ago and he is only 60. When we first noticed that something was wrong we never even thought it was the start of vascular dementia. He is in the early stages but we do notice that things are changing all the time. I work full time but my Mum now has given up work to care for my Dad and she would often say when I got home that he had a fall today but he always seemed his 'normal' self when I was home but when I was off work for a few days last week he had a fall and that was the first time I had seen it for myself and it did scare me a little. I watched a programme on dementia this evening and it made me think more about the future and what we have to come. It's just scary to image what the future looks like and eventually one day him not knowing who I am. I've always been close to my Dad growing up but since his diagnosis we have become more distant and I think that is because I didn't want to believe that my Dad had dementia. Sorry it's such a long post. It's something I don't talk to anyone about and something that we don't talk about much as a family because it's like if you don't talk about it then maybe it isn't real.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
6,935
Bristol
Welcome to the forums, @Victoria16. I had a similar reacotion to my partner being diagnosed with vascular dementia following a stroke about 9 years ago. I have to say also that everyone is different and your dad may not have some of the worst symptoms you saw on the tv programme.
Sorry, after a hard day and a bottle or two of cider I'm possibly not making a lot of sense, but you will find help and advice here as you adjust to the new normal. https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/types-dementia/vascular-dementia might also help you understand what is happening to your dad.
 

Bumble1977

New member
Jun 14, 2020
1
Hello my name is Rachel. I am currently caring for my dad whose showing symptoms of dementia as well as other health issues. We have recently lost my mum who died 5 weeks ago. I am their only child. My dad now lives with me, my partner and 12 year old son.
 

Veritas

New member
Jun 15, 2020
5
My husband was diagnosed recently - during lockdown, unfortunately - and I'm getting to grips with what's ahead of us. I can already see that this is a great resource and - while I would rather not have to - I will be making good use of it.

One question - is there the option to recommend/like a post? If so, how do I do it?!
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
62,079
69
Dundee
My husband was diagnosed recently - during lockdown, unfortunately - and I'm getting to grips with what's ahead of us. I can already see that this is a great resource and - while I would rather not have to - I will be making good use of it.

One question - is there the option to recommend/like a post? If so, how do I do it?!
Hi @Veritas and welcome to the forum.

I’m sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis - it must be so much harder during the situation just now.

I’m glad you’ve found the forum and I’m sure you will get lots of help and support here. There’s isn’t an option to like or recommend a post on the forum though.
 
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