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Welcome to Dementia Talking Point! Find out more and say hello.

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Lilyblue11

New member
Mar 24, 2020
2
Hi my name is Donna, my mum moved in with me last October with anxiety. She is now in the process of a dementia diagnosis and naturally things are in abeyance just now with the current crisis. We were to get a Community Nurse for further assessment and she has been in touch by email and phone but i’m struggling. All the doors are now locked as she keeps ‘running away’, thinks she’s being kept a prisoner. This Isolation could be so much easier but she is so draining.. negative, critical, nasty and i know i’m not reacting the right way now, because i’m so tired and concerned for the wellbeing of other people in the house. My friend rents a room with us and tbh if it wasn’t for him it would be much worse. She doesn’t know who i am half the time. My 15 year old sons don’t know how to cope.. i am usually a positive person but i have lost my way with this . Sorry
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
61,778
69
Dundee
Hi @Donna B and welcome to the forum.

Please don't apologise. I know that there will be many people on this forum who recognise where you are and what you're experiencing. I'm glad you've found the forum and I know you will get a lot of help and support here.

If you'd like to you can start a thread of your own in the I Care For a Person With Dementia Area of the forum. I know that lots of members find this a good way to keep everything together. Have a look and see what you think.

I Care For A Person With Dementia

Most importantly - keep posting!
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,046
Yorkshire
hello @Donna B
a warm welcome to DTP
no need ever to apologise here, we understand and offer support and a place to share whatever is on your mind
I wonder if this thread might have some useful suggestions for you
now you've found us, do keep posting ... it helps to share
 

Samlivingston

New member
Mar 28, 2020
2
Hi my name is Donna, my mum moved in with me last October with anxiety. She is now in the process of a dementia diagnosis and naturally things are in abeyance just now with the current crisis. We were to get a Community Nurse for further assessment and she has been in touch by email and phone but i’m struggling. All the doors are now locked as she keeps ‘running away’, thinks she’s being kept a prisoner. This Isolation could be so much easier but she is so draining.. negative, critical, nasty and i know i’m not reacting the right way now, because i’m so tired and concerned for the wellbeing of other people in the house. My friend rents a room with us and tbh if it wasn’t for him it would be much worse. She doesn’t know who i am half the time. My 15 year old sons don’t know how to cope.. i am usually a positive person but i have lost my way with this . Sorry
I feel your painful Donna, don't apologise.
 

Katt21

New member
Mar 25, 2020
1
Hi,I’m katt I’m new on here, we believe my mum is effected, not had it diagnosed or spoken to doctor yet but he did last she saw him two years ago retest her memory and sis he would get some to contact use but nothing since then she can sleep 24 hrs a day getting food and liquids in toner is a nightmare, and I have to watch her really closely with her medication as she drops tablets on floor of int he bed, she’s also is now in continent due to sleeping for long periods of time , when she does wake she often just stares or zones out which I have to say can be frustrating especially when trying to car for personal needs.
Sorry that sounded like a rant it wasn’t..
is her anything I can do to make things easier?
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,046
Yorkshire
hello @Katt21
a warm welcome to DTP
rant away, that's what we're here for
it sounds as though you are working hard to support your mum but do you have any support
please do get back in contact with her doctor, they need to know of the decline in her abilities in case there is something they can do for her ... and an incontinence nurse at the surgery may have suggestions to help
if you are in the UK, your mum has a right to an assessment of her care needs by her Local Authority Adult Services, so request one and a carer's assessment for yourself ... though therd may be some delay given the current circumstances
when you're ready, start your own thread and folk will pop in with ideas
 

Wigan Lass

Registered User
Jul 26, 2019
10
Hi anyone out there,
I am new to this dementia game.
My mum has mixed dementia and has just rung me as I got into bed.
Very paranoid about papers that are missing (Her wii, LPA etc.) which I had to remove from her home as they were continually going missing
Very aggressive verbally and thinks someone is trying to take her house off her. Help very upset now and anxious
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,046
Yorkshire
hello @Wigan Lass
a warm welcome to DTP
I hope you don't have to field calls all night ... sadly, the kind of worry you describe is not at all uncommon ... it may be a way of focussing the feeling of losing self to dementia onto the fear of something important being taken away
it's sensible for you to have the documents safe
would you be able to photocopy the documents and give your mum the copies profusely apologising for 'somehow having put them in my bag with some things of my own and just not realising'
 

Louie16

New member
Mar 31, 2020
8
Hello all. I previously cared for my mum prior to her becoming a resident in a care home 4 years ago.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,434
N Ireland
Hello @Louie16 and welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place for information and support.

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
 

Mini-me

New member
Apr 1, 2020
6
Hello. My father was diagnosed with Alzheimers and Vascular dementia last year. My mother is awaiting an appointment for the memory clinic. I work full time but visit them daily to assist with...well everything! Looking forward to connecting with others in the forum to learn from their experiences and share a little of mine.
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
11,287
Merseyside
Hello. My father was diagnosed with Alzheimers and Vascular dementia last year. My mother is awaiting an appointment for the memory clinic. I work full time but visit them daily to assist with...well everything! Looking forward to connecting with others in the forum to learn from their experiences and share a little of mine.
Welcome to DTP @Mini-me
You’ve come to the right place to connect with others. You’ll get lots of support here.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
6,789
Bristol
Hello. My father was diagnosed with Alzheimers and Vascular dementia last year. My mother is awaiting an appointment for the memory clinic. I work full time but visit them daily to assist with...well everything! Looking forward to connecting with others in the forum to learn from their experiences and share a little of mine.
Welcome to the forums @Mini-me. Sorry you have so much on your plate and the current crisis to deal with. You will find support and advice here from others with experience of caring and living with dementia. Please feel free to start your own thread if you need to once you have found your way around.
 

Mini-me

New member
Apr 1, 2020
6
Welcome to the forums @Mini-me. Sorry you have so much on your plate and the current crisis to deal with. You will find support and advice here from others with experience of caring and living with dementia. Please feel free to start your own thread if you need to once you have found your way around.
Thank you so much!
 

Mini-me

New member
Apr 1, 2020
6
Welcome to the forums @Mini-me. Sorry you have so much on your plate and the current crisis to deal with. You will find support and advice here from others with experience of caring and living with dementia. Please feel free to start your own thread if you need to once you have found your way around.
Thank you so much!
Welcome to DTP @Mini-me
You’ve come to the right place to connect with others. You’ll get lots of support here.
 

Hayley jane

Registered User
Apr 1, 2020
20
Hello everyone , I’m a new member and have a feeling I’m going to need support . Dad has dementia but unfortunately we just didn’t make it to the memory clinic before we had lockdown. Now the clinic are not seeing patients. We have been living with this for a few years but now it’s got to a very difficult stage and we need help. Tonight my dad didn’t recognise my mum , his wife of 51 years. The current situation is causing him to be distressed and he keeps asking to go home Although he has lived in the house for 50 years. We have no care packages in and it seems quite difficult to get any especially now
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
6,789
Bristol
Welcome to the forum, @Hayley jane. That is so distressing for you and your mum when your dad does not recognise her, you have sympathy from me for that. Asking to go home is common with dementia as confusion and inability to understand why you are confused makes some people long for the security of childhood I think. My partner certainly has moments when she wishes she was home and the best I can make out is that it is her mum and childhood home she means.
I don't know the situation with care packages, but your local authority should have a emergency contact number if your mum is desperate for help now. The advisors at https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementiaconnect will be able to give you better advice than I can.
 

Lesley in London

New member
Apr 1, 2020
3
Hi I'm Lesley. My mother, who has dementia, lives with me. She was diagnosed in 2012 but we were aware of the problems in 2010. It is vascular dementia and she functions fairly well. I can leave her safely during the day but need to be around overnight and at main meal times. So my issues aren't as severe as many. I do often feel tied down though, at a time in life when I would like to have the freedom to be myself. My husband passed in 2011 and I retired in 2012 to have more time for myself around caring for my mother. There is family around but not nearby, so providing things are planned in advance, I can get some respite from time to time.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,434
N Ireland
Hello @Lesley in London you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list. If you are interested in this clicking the following link will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., although that may all be done already. There is also a Dementia Guide in the list.

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
 
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