Welcome to Dementia Talking Point! Find out more and say hello.

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SophieD

Registered User
Mar 21, 2018
4,045
0
London
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point :)

If you have dementia, or care for someone who does, you're very welcome to join our community and get support from others. Find out more about how to join and say hi to our friendly community on this discussion!

Finding out more

If you've got questions about how to use Dementia Talking Point click on these links below.
  • You can find answers to frequently asked questions here.
  • Our Help videos will show you how to navigate the different areas of Dementia Talking Point.
  • We also have a Quick Guide explaining how to use Dementia Talking Point including logging in, posting, replying, checking private messages and searching.
  • Also we recommend having a read through our Guidelines which are some useful tips and things to remember when posting.

Connecting with others

Head over to our list of forums to find people who are in a similar situation, people at a similar stage of dementia or an information topic that interests you.

Here are some tips on how to post a reply or start your own discussion...

1. When you're in a forum, look for the blue "Post New Thread" or "Reply" buttons at the top or bottom of discussions
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2. To start a discussion, type a title, add your message and choose 'Create Thread'.


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3. To add a reply just add your message and choose "Reply"

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Any questions?

If you have any questions about using Dementia Talking Point, you can email us on talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk or Use our Contact Form - we're here to help.

Saying hello

This is our welcome thread - the place many members start. Our volunteer hosts and regular members are here to say hello to you and to welcome you to our community.

Why not tell us a little about your experience and how you'd like Dementia Talking Point to help you?

Whatever you're facing today, we hope you find our community to be helpful and supportive.

Sophie :)
 

Road runner

New member
Aug 19, 2019
2
0
Hi I'm new to the site. I lost my gran 5weeks ago to vascular dementia. We were very close but don't think it has hit me yet. I haven't cried I feel nothing. Is this normal
 
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nae sporran

Registered User
Oct 29, 2014
9,213
0
Bristol
Hi I'm new to the site. I lost my gran 5weeks ago to vascular dementia. We were very close but don't think it has hit me yet. I haven't cried I feel nothing. Is this normal
Welcome to the forums, Road runner. Sorry I can't offer much advice, but can I offer my condolences at the loss of your gran.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,342
0
Nottinghamshire
Hello @Road runner

Please accept my condolences. I found that the further my loved one was into the dementia journey the less I cried - if that makes sense. I think so much sorrow is felt watching someone fade the way they do that a lot of grieving has already been done by the time they die.
That's how I feel anyway.
There is no normal when it comes to dementia.
I felt numb for a long time when my dad died.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
74,001
0
72
Dundee
Hi I'm new to the site. I lost my gran 5weeks ago to vascular dementia. We were very close but don't think it has hit me yet. I haven't cried I feel nothing. Is this normal

Welcome to the forum. I’m so sorry to read your news. Nothing is normal with grieving, It’s a bit of a cliche but grieving is very much a roller coaster. Everyone’s grief is different and it is a long process. Just go with the flow and take your feelings as they come. Wishing you strength.
 

ClaireT89

New member
Aug 20, 2019
1
0
Hello everyone.
Newbie to the site.
My mum was diagnosed with early onset dementia in November last year.
How did you and your loved ones come to terms with the diagnosis?
Mum is quite stubborn and independent and doesn't want to accept any potential help at the moment.
How do you find talking to others about the diagnosis?
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,534
0
N Ireland
Hello @ClaireT89, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

In the early days after diagnosis of my wife we both suffered a grief like response, which is common and is called anticipatory grief(anticipating the loss of life as you knew it),

I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done. Even things like the grief response are covered, as is a useful dementia guide.

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
 

WeWillie

New member
Aug 20, 2019
1
0
Hi,I believe this may be or not my first visit cannot remember but I reckon it’s not all that important. Glad to be here and am thinking how excited I’am about all the information there is about MCI and the other forms of dementia. May all have a great day!
Wee Willie
 

Jenni_B

Registered User
Aug 24, 2019
104
0
France
Hello! Pleased to meet you all.

My sister is sole carer for her husband who has early-onset AD (diagnosed 2011) and is at breaking point mentally & physically. Although I can't often help out physically (I live in France, she's in the UK), I've been doing fact-finding for her, talking to the Alzheimer's Soc, ringing care homes & agencies etc. I have a question which I can't see answered anywhere on the forums so I'm hoping to post it the forum about people with more advanced AD. Hope that's OK, even though I'm not a carer myself?
 

Shedrech

Registered User
Dec 15, 2012
12,649
0
UK
hello @Jenni_B
a warm welcome to DTP
of course it's fine to post here ... you obviously care very much for your sister and her husband, and this supportive community will help in any way we can
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
74,001
0
72
Dundee
Hi,I believe this may be or not my first visit cannot remember but I reckon it’s not all that important. Glad to be here and am thinking how excited I’am about all the information there is about MCI and the other forms of dementia. May all have a great day!
Wee Willie

Welcome from me too. I'm sure you're going to find the forum a helpful and supportive place to be.
 

Pollywin

New member
Aug 27, 2019
2
0
Stafford
Hello, I have only just joined. Hoping to share some thoughts, emotions and sheer frustrations with other members.
I am a Carer for my husband who is early/mid stages of alzheimer’s. He was diagnosed 5 years ago with very early stages (memory) and was given donepezil medication which has certainly slowed down the progression of the disease. However, for some time now it’s becoming obvious that progression is now evident.
Unfortunately, I am not a saint, and I do find it difficult not to react to some of the recent things he does or says.
Like most of you, I feel alone in dealing with situations, but hopefully can chat more as I become used to posting
my anxieties.
 

nae sporran

Registered User
Oct 29, 2014
9,213
0
Bristol
Hullo and welcome from me too @Pollywin. You won't be alone here, we are all going through similar things and are a very supportive community. It is a hard road, and you're only human.
I find carers support groups and memory cafes to be good places to get more face to face support and also to find out more about local services, so if you think it will help then look at http://carers.org and https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
 

Pollywin

New member
Aug 27, 2019
2
0
Stafford
Hello there, thanks for that. I take my husband to a monthly support group/social evening when I do get a brief chance to chat to other Carer’s. I think, sometimes, I just need to pour things out to someone, but feel that people think I am simply moaning because they have no idea of what it is like caring for a loved one day to day. Often I hear friends or even family say “he looks well doesn’t he” or “he seems to be doing ok” and I want to shout at them “of course he looks well, he’s being taken care of - no worries, no responsibilities, no stress in his life and he sleeps like a baby”!!!! I heard my husband get up to the toilet about 10 minutes ago, whilst I am sitting here writing this and guess what...he’s gone back to bed and will be fast asleep again. Moaning already and it’s only 8.40 am! Have a good day all.
 

AnitaSzaban

Registered User
Aug 30, 2019
11
0
Hi there, my Step dad has dementia I’d say it’s the middle stage. My mum is beginning to struggle with the whole situation. My step dad used to be my mums career and now the roles are reversed and it’s taking its toll on my mum emotionally and physically. I’ve been trying to find ways to help
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,534
0
N Ireland
Hi there, my Step dad has dementia I’d say it’s the middle stage. My mum is beginning to struggle with the whole situation. My step dad used to be my mums career and now the roles are reversed and it’s taking its toll on my mum emotionally and physically. I’ve been trying to find ways to help
Hello and welcome to the forum.

I wonder if you might get some useful advice from the Society Factsheet on Needs Assessments(for both the person with dementia and their carer).

If you would like to read it just click the 2nd line of the following link
Assessment for care and support in England (418)
PDF printable version
 
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