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Welcome to Dementia Talking Point! Find out more and say hello.

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by Mark_W, May 21, 2019.

  1. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,773
    N Ireland
    Hello and welcome to the forum @ginnygirl.

    This medication can have many minor side effects like nausea that cause people to give up on it. My wife found that taking it at night meant that she tolerated it very well and was able to continue with it.

    Now that you have found us I hope you continue to post so that you can get support from our very experienced and knowledgeable membership.
     
  2. Leigh jayne

    Leigh jayne New member

    Jun 16, 2019
    1
    Hi, thanks for the welcome. My dearly loved dad has recently been diagnosed with dementia and I'm desperate for advice in so many ways - how to help him stay independent but safe; any tips at all about things that might delay his cognitive deterioration/motivate him; how to cope with the guilt / grief when I'm not with him. Just anything at all that I can do to help and make this easier for him really. Thanks.
     
  3. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,773
    N Ireland
    Hello @Leigh jayne, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

    I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

    You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done.

    Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
     
  4. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,626
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to the forums from me too, Leigh Jayne. It's hard to know where to start when you are faced with someone you love having dementia, and it has been a steep learning curve.
    Pete has given you the factsheets and the support services link, and I have found places like memory cafes to be stimulating and good for meeting others with dementia and other carers. We have music memories once a month in Bristol and there are singing for the brain events around the country, Music and socialising there has kept us going.
    Other things to think about for the future are getting power of attorney, which AgeUK helped us with.
    That's just a few ideas which you should find on the support near you link. Good luck.
     
  5. Jether

    Jether New member

    Jun 17, 2019
    6
    Hi, Just joined as I think I may be able to glean some tips for helping me support my mum who has Alzheimer's and is also grieving for my father whom she lost about a month ago.
     
  6. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,653
    Female
    South coast
    Hello @Jether and welcome to DTP, you will find a wealth of advice and support on these boards. Do have a mooch around - I found things being discussed on here that helped a lot when my mum was first diagnosed with Alzheimers.

    If you want advice about a specific problem, do feel free to start your own thread explaining the problem
     
  7. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,564
    Yorkshire
    Hello @Jether
    A warm welcome to DTP
    My condolences on the loss of your father
    It must be difficult for your mum to grasp how things are now
    And hard for you grieving for him and also caring for her
    So I'm glad you have joined this supportive community
    Start your own thread when you're ready, with anything that's on your mind, and folk will pop in with suggestions
     
  8. Jether

    Jether New member

    Jun 17, 2019
    6
    Thanks Shedrech for the warm wlecome.
     
  9. mountainlionkiwi

    mountainlionkiwi New member

    Jun 19, 2019
    1
    Good evening,
    I joined this community because I've been struggling with the progression of my grandfather's dementia diagnosis. Growing up, I would see him and my grandmother once a week if not more and we were very close. He's 96 years old now but has likely been struggling with memory degeneration for years. Due to a strenuous relationship between my grandparents and my mom in the last few years, they rarely visited with each other for years and I have lived at least a six hour drive away from them since 2014. Although we knew he was getting forgetful, my parents only learned how severe my grandfather's memory issues had become after my grandmother broke here wrist in January and required their assistance with daily life.

    Shortly after my grandfather was committed to a memory care facility. At first he was combative, trying to escape and asking when he could go home. At this time, I still saw a lot of the person I love in him and could hardly tell he was struggling aside from how frequently he repeated himself and the fact that he called me his daughter while still asking questions that indicated he knew I was me.

    About two weeks ago, my partner and I returned to my hometown as my grandmother is having to do renovations to her home in order to spend down her assets and qualify for Medicaid and needed assistance sorting through her own belongings and my grandfathers to clear the house. We visited my grandfather twice in this time. The change from my last visit in March was like night and day. He had no idea who I was, described the nursing home as his house, and was calling another patient by my grandmother's name. It was shocking and it broke my heart.

    This is the first experience I've had with losing someone very close to me. Although both of my paternal grandparents have passed, I rarely saw them and while loved them, the sense of loss was no where close to what I feel this time. I feel guilty for not visiting more in the last few years and an extremely confusing sense of loss because the person I knew does not seem to be there anymore and yet when I see him, he's still my grandfather. It has been something ever-present on my mind since then and I've found myself crying easily in even the most mildly stressful situation, whenever I think about him, and sometimes even without a direct trigger. I'm hoping this community will help me to find some peace with the situation and maybe provide me with some better coping skills.

    Thank you all in advance
     
  10. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,773
    N Ireland
    Hello @mountainlionkiwi, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly, informative and supportive place.

    What you are feeling is called anticipatory grief and it may pass in the same way as any grief response. I hope you find peace quickly. There is a Society Factsheet that mentions this and you can have a read at this by clicking the 2nd line of the following link and reading from Pg 4 onwards
    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/help-dementia-care/grief-loss-and-bereavement
    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/media/1026

    Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting if you have a question or need support.
     
  11. Mark_W

    Mark_W Administrator
    Staff Member

    Sep 28, 2015
    4,019
    London
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