Weird Stuff during the night!

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by mandyp, Oct 28, 2004.

  1. mandyp

    mandyp Registered User

    Oct 20, 2004
    150
    Glasgow
    Hi again!

    We believe that Mum is in the early stages of AD, at what point does it become the 'middle'?

    I spoke to Dad about my last post and speaking to the Doctor to see if they can try any of the other drugs....he said you and that bl**dy internet, the doctors know best. She's not due to go to the doctor for 3 months, I think he should take her sooner rather than later....any advice on how to make him see sense?

    In addition he's now admitted that she's getting up in the middle of the night about 2-3 times a week, trying to get dressed and go out and one night wanting to remove the nails from the bed! Is this indicative of her getting a lot worse, or is it a common thing in the early stages?

    It's the feeling of being so helpless about the situation that's getting me down, I feel a little like we're not doing enough and Dad basically just sees me as being a nuiscance! So difficult trying to get through to him. I know he's finding her hard going at times but I don't want her to potentially get worse because we've not done enough to help her.

    Thanks for any advice!

    Mandy
     
  2. storm

    storm Registered User

    Aug 10, 2004
    269
    notts
    Dear Mandyp, Theres only one thing certain with A/D it will progress no one can say when the changes will occure because everyone is differant,in fact with my mum because she lives with us it seems harder because we can miss the detereation until i stop and think she was able to do or remember something afew weeks ago and now she nolonger can.Thats the hard part you can not predict whats going to happen you just have to adapt as you go along.It could be this that your dad fears the unknown try and get him to learn as much as he can about A/D it really does help to be informed.You could put it to him that with your mum having broken nights it will make him less able to cope so it might be a good idea for them both to see the gp to put him in the picture about the changes in your mums routine and to see if he can offer your dad any advice.good luck storm.
     
  3. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Mandy,

    Gradual changes are really hard to monitor if you are living with the situation on a daily basis, as is your father. Printing off some the Fact Sheets would be a very good idea, provided he is amenable to reading them - as well as a trip to the GP before the 3 month appointment.

    I hope this helps.

    Jude
     
  4. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Mandy
    remember that Dad is also going through stages.
    In the first instance he would resent any one even knowing about the situation and try and cope alone.
    He would also resent "Help" and see it as interference,but eventually he begin to see things your way and be grateful for any help.
    Be patient,day to day
    best wishes
    Norman
     
  5. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Dear Mandy

    If my experience is anything to by, and which is similar to your own, you won't be able to MAKE Dad see anything until he is ready. And he has the final say in these matters as Mum's official immediate next of kin. He is probably having his own mental fight in coming to terms with Mum's AD and the devastating effect it will have on the future.

    It's all about how far and how much your Dad is able to cope with and, again in my own experience, there came a time when coping was no longer a choice and the doctors and system kicked in.

    Just try to be there to support him, however frustrating that is I know.

    thinking of you
    Chesca
     
  6. barraf

    barraf Registered User

    Mar 27, 2004
    308
    Huddersfield
    Weird Stuff during the nght

    Dear Mandy

    Go easy on your dad, he will be going through hell.

    At first he won't want to admit there is anything wrong with your mum.

    Then he won't want anyone else to know.

    Then he will be sure he can cope himself.

    Then he will tend to believe that the professionals know best, not realising that they only go on what you tell them or what they observe during infrequent visits.

    Can you get him to read the Threads on TP?

    Have you a CPN with whom you can get in touch?

    Or can you visit his GP stressing that it is your Father's health that is worrying you as well as your Mum's.

    This is going to need all your tact and persuasion but I think it is worth a try.

    Best of luck

    Barraf
     
  7. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hey Chesca

    Great summary. 100% correct.
     
  8. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Bruce
    been there (still am there) read it ,got the tee shirt
    Norman
     
  9. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    ..........and you wear it well, a little old fashioned but I don't mind.................

    Chesca
     
  10. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Rod Stewart's birthday is the same day as mine. Sorry will knock the sherry on the head I think! Love She! XX
     

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