Wedding Anniversary

SoAlone

Registered User
May 19, 2016
137
Devon
Today is our 35th Wedding Anniversary. OH has been in a Nursing Home 18mths now. He still recognises me but conversation usually is based around may different times in his life all at once. Last year I took in cards cake and a small bottle of Prosecco, but he didn't really grasp what I was saying and I brought them home. This year I have been away for a few days and returned last night. My plan had been to just let it pass without comment. Not as a reaction to last year, but to save him the effort of trying to respond and the upset when I then leave without him.Anyone got any thoughts or ideas on this ?
 

Dimpsy

Registered User
Sep 2, 2019
1,022
Congratulations and celebrations for your 35th wedding anniversary.

You are allowed to have a good cry, I would, after all in another dimension you and hubby are crusing the Caribbean and drinking champagne together. On a different planet the pair of you, together, are exploring the Valley of the King's, encircled by history, mystery and peacefulness, almost palpable.

Bittersweet and angry tears, shed them and let the unfairness of how your life is now, out in the open.
We are only human and it's perfectly natural to feel lonely on the one day of the year that couples look back on and reminisce on the path they have trod together.

You asked for ideas and this is mine.

You do the remembering, your husband can't, it's not his fault; visit him today and let him talk as usual. No point in upsetting yourself bringing up the date - remember last year! Take comfort knowing that you are still together, after all, the time may come when .............
Make the most of your visit, enjoy , make him laugh, give him a big hug and kiss and leave with smiles on both your faces.
And when you get home, open that bottle of bubbly, don't think about what you have lost, remember the good times and raise a glass to your coral (modern jade - thanks Google) anniversary.
Cheers!
xxxx
 

Vic10

Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
93
I tend to agree to just let it pass.
Hope you have enjoyed your few days away.
Congratulations on 35 years. I wish you a happy day without the challenges of difficult decisions
 

SoAlone

Registered User
May 19, 2016
137
Devon
Congratulations and celebrations for your 35th wedding anniversary.

You are allowed to have a good cry, I would, after all in another dimension you and hubby are crusing the Caribbean and drinking champagne together. On a different planet the pair of you, together, are exploring the Valley of the King's, encircled by history, mystery and peacefulness, almost palpable.

Bittersweet and angry tears, shed them and let the unfairness of how your life is now, out in the open.
We are only human and it's perfectly natural to feel lonely on the one day of the year that couples look back on and reminisce on the path they have trod together.

You asked for ideas and this is mine.

You do the remembering, your husband can't, it's not his fault; visit him today and let him talk as usual. No point in upsetting yourself bringing up the date - remember last year! Take comfort knowing that you are still together, after all, the time may come when .............
Make the most of your visit, enjoy , make him laugh, give him a big hug and kiss and leave with smiles on both your faces.
And when you get home, open that bottle of bubbly, don't think about what you have lost, remember the good times and raise a glass to your coral (modern jade - thanks Google) anniversary.
Cheers!
xxxx
Thank you for the good wishes and sound advice. Just needed a little reassurance that I wasn't just taking the easy option.
Will take that advice and have an evening enjoying the great memories we have made and yes, a glass of fizzy stuff
 

SoAlone

Registered User
May 19, 2016
137
Devon
I tend to agree to just let it pass.
Hope you have enjoyed your few days away.
Congratulations on 35 years. I wish you a happy day without the challenges of difficult decisions
Thank you Vic. I have had a lovely break the first for nearly a year, with my sister and brother in law but I am happy to be back and looking forward to visiting OH today. I am happy to go with the flow today, I have found that 'normality' in his world is the best place to be where we can still, luckily laugh and joke, if he is in the right space or sit quietly together if it is a sleepy day. Hpoing it isn't one of the difficult ones, but if it is then we will deal with that too.
Thank you, you have been a real help.
Hope today is a smooth one wherever you are on your journey