1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

We started this journey together and are now ending it together.

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by Lightspeed, Feb 16, 2015.

  1. Lightspeed

    Lightspeed Registered User

    Feb 16, 2015
    3
    New poster here but started the alzheimers journey a little over 5 years ago with my mum who was diagnosed at the young age of 57.

    As I write this post I am at the bedside of my 62yo mum holding her hand as this challenging journey nears its end. I have said my goodbyes, kissed her, told her how much I love her and how sorry I am for all of the lows experienced over the past 5 years.

    I have shed many tears and now appear to be at peace with the invevitable passing of my beautiful mum.

    As a 33yo only child and a mum with no additional family we have walked this journey together from start to finish. As I watch and listen to mums laboured breathing, touch her mottled cool skin and stroke her forehead in comfort I know that this is the unfortunate end to a devastating illness that I would wish on no other.

    In the weeks to follow I hope that I can begin to share my experiences to help others but for now I wanted to capture this unique life changing moment.

    Love you mum.
     
  2. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,322
    Female
    East Kent
    #2 lin1, Feb 16, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2015
    Hello Lightspeed.

    I am sorry to hear about your Mum and sincerely hope that your Dear mum's passing is as peaceful as you wish for, I also hope your Mum is receiving good palliative care .

    You are most welcome to share on here. I found TP a great help during the difficult times I hope you find the same.
     
  3. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,783
    Salford
    Nice first post Lightspeed, I can really identify with it my wife was diagnosed about 4-5 years ago and will be 62 next week.
    Unlike your Mum my wife has progressed much slower so we still get to do lots of things together still, please keep sharing.
    K
     
  4. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,302
    Cotswolds
    Hello Ligtspeed and welcome to TP :)

    I am sorry to hear that you and your mum have had such a difficult journey, and at such an early age for you both. Your love shines from your post and I am sure your mum has been aware of the depth of your feelings, throughout the inevitable highs and lows.

    If as you say, your mum's passing is now expected, I hope it is as peaceful as possible.

    Take care of yourself Lightspeed :)

    Lindy xx
     
  5. Necion

    Necion Registered User

    Hello Lightspeed,

    My heart goes out to you this morning.
    It is a very precious time you are sharing with your dear mum, and you are certainly bringing her comfort right to the end.

    Words are no comfort just now, but needed to let you know my thoughts are with you both.

    Sending love and strength,

    lots of love, Necion. xx
     
  6. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    Hi Lightspeed-welcome to TP.

    You are doing/have done an absolutely brilliant job in supporting your Mum. It's hard isn't it to watch a loved one slip away-especially at such a young age. I hope your Mum's passing is calm and pain free. Keep talking to her, make sure she has all she needs, and also look after yourself. It's a strange time for you. Your Mum bought you into the world and now you are waiting for her to leave. Very, very sad. I wish you strength.

    Love

    Lyn T XX
     
  7. Ladybird23

    Ladybird23 Registered User

    Feb 28, 2014
    130
    Lightspeed, you are doing a great job. Just take care. xx
     
  8. kingybell

    kingybell Registered User

    Feb 3, 2015
    115
    Huge hugs, to you and your mum. You should be very proud of yourself that you have survived this terrible journey thus far. Your story resonates with me as I have just had my mum in law diagnosed aged 56 and I can see her getting worse month on month.

    Your mum is so lucky to have you share this very sad journey.
     
  9. geum123

    geum123 Registered User

    May 20, 2009
    4,604
    Thinking of you and your Mum, Lightspeed.
    Your love for her shines out through your post,
    and I'm sure she will know you are by her side.
     
  10. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,534
    North East England
    Welcome, Lightspeed, your loving post has brought tears to my eyes. Wishing you peace and strength for whatever is to come xx
     
  11. ppjm

    ppjm Registered User

    Oct 11, 2012
    10
    York
  12. Lightspeed

    Lightspeed Registered User

    Feb 16, 2015
    3
    Thank you all.

    My dear mum passed away today at 3pm. It was peaceful and without pain with me and my wife at her side holding her hand and comforting her.

    It was exactly how I would have wished.

    I feel empty at the moment as its been such a long and testing journey.

    I will take some time to reflect and come back to share my experience to help others.

    Love you mum.
     
  13. ellejay

    ellejay Registered User

    Jan 28, 2011
    4,014
    Essex
    Lightspeed, please accept my condolences x. I am so glad that you and your wife were with your mum, it will bring you comfort as you go forward.

    Take care

    Lin x
     
  14. Dazmum

    Dazmum Registered User

    I'm so sorry Lightspeed, but pleased that you could be with your mum and tell her all that you wanted to. Take care xxx
     
  15. Necion

    Necion Registered User

    Hello Lightspeed,

    Sincere sympathy at this sad time.

    It doesn't seem real, does it, but I'm glad for you all that your mum's passing was peaceful, and you and your wife had the honour of being with her right to the end.

    Be kind to yourselves, take things easy for now.

    lots of love,
    Necion.xx
     
  16. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    2,109
    hertfordshire
    My condolences to you and your family x

    Ange
     
  17. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,302
    Cotswolds
    I'm so sorry for your loss, Lightspeed, but pleased that you were able to be with your mum, and that her passing was peaceful.

    Please accept my condolences.

    Wishing you peace and strength :)

    Lindy xx
     
  18. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    526
    British Isles
    Condolences on the loss of your dear mum.
     
  19. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    Lightspeed, in amongst the understandable sadness I hope you get some comfort in knowing your dear Mum passed without pain and in peace. Find your own peace now knowing that you did all that you could.

    Wishing you strength

    Lyn T XX
     
  20. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    857
    WEST SUSSEX
    #20 WIFE, Feb 20, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2015
    So sorry to read of your loss Lightspeed - Mothers are such very special people. At least she is peaceful now and away from the confusion and sadness of dementia. Now take time for your family and you. Loving thoughts WIFE
     

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