My mother has Alzheimer's and has been in a EMI nursing home for 3 months. Previously she lived with my sister. She has been through what I would call different stages of not settling in to her new environment. First, she was quite aggressive and was given drugs which made her very docile. She was then re-assessed and the drugs were changed and she seemed to be a little better. Then, she became very confused, she couldn't remember that members of the family had visited or if we took her out for the day she wouldn't remember she had been out. We realise that this is part of the illness.
Now she is crying all day long and literally begging for us to take her home. Even threatening suicide.
Obviously, we have spoken in depth to the staff in the home and they have told us that she is not happy no matter what they do. She wanders night and day or stands by the door (which is obviously locked) trying to get out.
We are heart broken every time we leave her and forever trying to find a solution which would make mum happy. Bringing her home to live with my sister again has been suggested by the family. However, the doctors etc advise against it as she needs 24 hour care.
Has anyone else been in this situation, where you feel that the person you love, who has had a long and happy life is going to end their days thinking we don't care for them and have abandoned them.
How do others cope with these feelings of despair and how can we make mam happy again.
Now she is crying all day long and literally begging for us to take her home. Even threatening suicide.
Obviously, we have spoken in depth to the staff in the home and they have told us that she is not happy no matter what they do. She wanders night and day or stands by the door (which is obviously locked) trying to get out.
We are heart broken every time we leave her and forever trying to find a solution which would make mum happy. Bringing her home to live with my sister again has been suggested by the family. However, the doctors etc advise against it as she needs 24 hour care.
Has anyone else been in this situation, where you feel that the person you love, who has had a long and happy life is going to end their days thinking we don't care for them and have abandoned them.
How do others cope with these feelings of despair and how can we make mam happy again.