We have found a home for Dad

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by carolr, Jul 17, 2007.

  1. carolr

    carolr Registered User

    Jul 12, 2007
    33
    bradford
    Hi Friends

    We visited another few homes over the weekend and then last night found the right place for my Dad. You were all so right we had a good feeling about the place the moment that we arrived, the accomodation is pleasant in the main resident areas with proper tablecloths and napkins in the dining room, they have separate lounges some bright some darker with the biggest plasma screen I have ever seen in the tv lounge. The bedrooms are comfortable and very clean and Dads room will be decorated in what ever colour we ask for before he goes. More importantly they organise regular outings and mum is welcome to go with them, monthly care assesments which we are involved in and a relatives committee who meet monthly to discuss any issues.

    We feel much happier now and the best thing is that the home is only 5 minutes away from my mums flat. Obviously it will still be a trying time for us when he moves permanently but we feel confident that we have found the best placement that we could. The residents were friendly with us last night and there was quite alot of conversation going on around us they spent more time talking about Dads likes and dislikes than they did talking about his illness and they are confident that they can give him the care and stimulation that he needs.

    Mum & I have also learned to smile at some ot Dads antics and it really helps, someone on another thread was talking about the need to sometimes laugh at things together and this is fine it really helps but it is very true that it would be awful if someone else who does not live with this wicked illness was to laugh.

    This time last week I would not have believed that we would be at the stage that we are now or that I would be accepting of it, thanks everyone for your support
     
  2. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Hello - it is lovely to read some good news (albeit in a very sad siutation). It sounds as if you have found a really good place (wish it were nearer to us!!). I know I have to do some research soon for respite/care in the future and it is not a task I look forward to - you have obviously done that work and it has paid off. Hope it continues to go well.

    Best wishes Beckyjan
     
  3. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,138
    Toronto, Canada
    Carol,
    It does sound like a really lovely place. That fact that it is so close to your mum's flat is perfect

    As for laughter, I firmly believe that if we do not laugh, we will cry. We, as family and friends of AD victims, have so much to cry about that we must seize every opportunity to laugh. I will freely confess that my humour can be of the gallows type but it gets me through. And yes, if someone who is not on the good ship Alzheimer makes a joke, I find it very offensive and wish I were allowed to remove their intestines with an iron hook - through their nose:D.

    Seriously, you will find things will become more manageable and you will be better and better able to cope. There will always be ups and downs but that's life. When you have a bad day, come here for some true understanding.

    Take care,
    Joanne
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,866
    Kent
    Hello Carol,

    Thank you for the update.

    Although the actual move will be as traumatic as anything, the home sounds lovely, and I`m glad you had a `good feeling` about it.

    I liked the idea that your mum will be able to go on trips out with your dad. It will be just like a regular day trip for them. I also liked the idea of monthly care assessments, at least whilst your dad is settling in.

    I hope it all goes well for you.

    Love xx
     
  5. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    laughing and crying

    hi carol
    my mum always says "kids" they make you laugh and they make you cry.don't suppose they ever thought the shoe would be on the other foot!take care hope all is well.love elainex:D
     
  6. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Carol

    Congratulations on finding such a nice place for your dad. It sounds as if they really care about the residents.

    Let's hope the move goes smoothly for you.

    Love,
     
  7. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Hello carol
    So pleased that everything has worked out so well with finding your dad suitable placement. I hope that everything runs smoothly with the move. I wish you all well. Taffy.
     
  8. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Carol,
    So pleased for you! Hope everything turns out smoothly for all of you. Take care and keep strong!
     

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