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We have been on a long journey RIP dad

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by superstar, Feb 15, 2017.

  1. superstar

    superstar Registered User

    Oct 10, 2013
    20
    My dad started with the first signs of memory loss when he was 70, Mum and Dad had a static caravan, but while heading back home on the motorway he suddenly forgot his route home, he decided to pack driving in, When we mentioned it to the doctor he said it was his age, Years after things was getting worse, he was eventually diagnosed with Alzheimer's, along the way dad became very irritated, I live on the same street as my parents, so I would help mum as much as I could, After a long spell of trying to cope ourselves it was time to speak to our GP, we was determined to keep dad at home no matter how hard it became, our GP gave us a drug called promazine to help calm his irritation, it had to be in liquid form as dad had never took tablets in his life,Mum and Dad was inseparable, I was very scared that it might affect her health as she has a few issues if her own, We managed to keep dad with us till he passed away on 1st Feb 2017, the last stages of dementia, was awful to see him deteriorate each day, he had two days assessment in hospital the week before xmas, he couldn't stand up anymore he was back home in Christmas Eve, on CHC care near the end he could only whisper but we couldn't make anything out what he was saying, It's extremely hard looking after someone with dementia, and there's no two people the same with the disease, we have been lucky to get through doing what we have done, but it's been a tough and long journey, but worth every minute to see my dad smiling now and then, god I do miss him, mums staying with us just now as her house seems empty x
     
  2. alibali2016

    alibali2016 Registered User

    Jan 24, 2017
    41
    When I first started reading your post I was interested in "the journey". But you are right, no two patients with dementia are the same so it really doesn't matter to me because I can't compare your Dad's journey to my Dad's journey. I can feel the love you have for your Dad and I'm sorry this has happened to your family. You have helped care for him for 10 years, so you should have no regrets - you have done everything you could to help make his last days the best they can be. Sending a big hug across the pond. Take care. xox
     
  3. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    8,396
    Merseyside
    I'm so sorry to read your news. My thoughts are with you.
     
  4. Babymare01

    Babymare01 Registered User

    Apr 22, 2015
    227
    Sending you hugs and condolences. You are right it is a long journey but you stood by you Dad's - and your mums - side through it all.

    xx
     
  5. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    8,014
    North East England
    This is the strange stage when you are standing wondering....what shall I do next?
    There is a Dad shaped hole in your lives and a pain in your heart. You, your Mum and all your family have my sympathy.... the pain eases in time, but the hole is always empty.xx
     
  6. Toddleo

    Toddleo Registered User

    Oct 7, 2015
    413
    I can relate to everything you say Superstar.
    It is just over a month since we lost our mum, and I am still a bit numb from that feeling of "what do I do now" The care of your loved one becomes all encompassing and a massive gap is left behind.
    I look back and wonder how on earth we coped some times! It sounds like you loved and cared for your dad incredibly well, look after your self. x
     
  7. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    53,168
    Dundee
    Sending my condolences.
     
  8. LadyA

    LadyA Volunteer Host

    Oct 19, 2009
    11,828
    Ireland
    Sorry to hear about your loss. Condolences to you and your mum.

    Sent from my Moto G Play using Talking Point mobile app
     
  9. superstar

    superstar Registered User

    Oct 10, 2013
    20
    Thank you x


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  10. superstar

    superstar Registered User

    Oct 10, 2013
    20
    Thank you xx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  11. superstar

    superstar Registered User

    Oct 10, 2013
    20
    So true xx


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  12. superstar

    superstar Registered User

    Oct 10, 2013
    20
    Thanks xx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  13. Angie1996

    Angie1996 Registered User

    May 15, 2016
    515
    Somerset
    Wow your post was truly touching!! I lost my dad New Years Eve. Your post touched my heart. Caring for him for 10 years! He would have been so proud of you all x


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  14. superstar

    superstar Registered User

    Oct 10, 2013
    20
    Thanks angie1996 dad died on the 1st Feb and his brother died on the 3rd Feb we have just come back from my uncles funeral, Both brothers together now, I'm sure they have gone to a better place x


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  15. Angie1996

    Angie1996 Registered User

    May 15, 2016
    515
    Somerset
    oh wow that is close together, thats really sad :(
     

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