We are all happy

Helen33

Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
14,697
0
This is the second week with the sitter and today I can say that I had a wonderful, relaxing morning and I felt like my old self.
I thought I was o.k. anyway but it wasn't until I decided to go out as soon as the sitter arrived and do whatever I wanted that I realised I'd forgotten what it used to feel like to be relaxed.

The decorators were busy pulling down ceilings, Alan was going to show the sitter the park with the aviary and the pond and I decided to look for curtains, rugs, colours etc. etc. at my leisure. In the midst of my expedition I stopped off at a Greek cafe/restaurant which I've been meaning to try for ages but never got round to it. I went in on my own and a Greek lady (fellow customer) started chatting to me. It was clear to me that she had dementia. The cafe owner apologised and I said it was quite alright and I felt completely at ease with her. I was completely relaxed and happy.

I finished my hunt for ideas and came home to a happy Alan and a happy sitter. They'd enjoyed the park and Alan even brought his writing board down to practice his signature with her even though no one had prompted him:)

I am thrilled now I know that we are all benefitting and I rang Crossroads to get them to chase up the other lady sitter.

As I am typing this I am, of course, very aware of fellow TP members who are stressed out and have little or no help. To you I apologise and hope that my thread doesn't appear insensitive.

Love
 

SkiTTish

Registered User
Sep 13, 2008
104
0
Isn't it amazing that such a normal day ( to anyone else ) can feel like such a treat ? :)
Makes you really appreciate life in a different light doesnt it ?
Glad you had a fab day and dont dare feel guilty ,you were not being insesitive atall .You deserve a break and I bet it did yourself and Alan the world of good :)
 
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Helen33

Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
14,697
0
Hi SkiTTish

Isn't it amazing that such a normal day ( to anyone else ) can feel like such a treat ?

It certainly was a treat and seemed much more than the 'normal' which I have become accustomed to. I absolutely loved the 'normal' anyway but this was extra special. You are right though to anyone else it seems rather mundane.

I think the difference is that other 'normal' moments are fleeting as with this illness one cannot dictate but with having regular sitters this can become a way of life. I know I'm being a bit premature because it's all really new but today was a new experience.

Love
 
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SkiTTish

Registered User
Sep 13, 2008
104
0
Do you know, I just read my post back and I think it came across wrong ,like i didnt appreciate your special day ?
I was just trying to covney (probably badly :eek: ) just how much we carers appreciate time to do things for ourselves and spend a bit of 'normal' time
Anyone not touched by the disease wouldnt understand just how special a day like that can be :)
 

Helen33

Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
14,697
0
Hello SkiTTish

Hi there. There was nothing wrong with your post SkiTTish, it was lovely and I appreciated it. I am just so chuffed with the day that I think I've got verbal dioreah (don't know how to spell it):D

Love
 

Canadian Joanne

Registered User
Apr 8, 2005
17,710
0
70
Toronto, Canada
Helen,
Nothing wrong with enjoying your day. I'm glad Alan feels so comfortable with the sitter. It's a great thing for both of you. I'm sure sometimes our loved ones must want a break from us.
 

sad nell

Registered User
Mar 21, 2008
3,190
0
bradford west yorkshire
Helen i felt just the same when I was lucky enough for Trev to go to daycare, I browsed around shops at leisure without that feeling of anxiety that Trev may get agitated any min it was very relaxing as you said, do not think we realise what aknife edge we live on daily because that just becomes the norm. Friends were shocked i had just browsed and not done something special, but to me just being able to please myself was special. hope you have many more days out whilst Alan is safe with sitter, i to feel they give an excellent service, i get 2 hours a week, shame not living in same town would join you in little greek cafe for a coffee. hope interior decorating looks good Pam
 

SkiTTish

Registered User
Sep 13, 2008
104
0
:eek:Do you know ,on a wednesday when mum go's to the daycenter ,I always do the housework ( only time I get tbh )
I just realised what a blooming waste!!
Im off in to the Town this wednesday :D
Just hope I havent forgotton how to interact with people and make a fool of myslf :eek::D wish me luck.....
 

SkiTTish

Registered User
Sep 13, 2008
104
0
Helen,
I'm sure sometimes our loved ones must want a break from us.
Joanne ,i mSURE my mum gets sick of me ,hell ..I get sick of me :D
Whenever she is telling someone how 'wonderfull ' I am and what a 'fabulous sister ' I am ( mum has thought I am her sister for a while ..only 40 yrs betwix us :D )
I always say "yeah ,im ok in small doses " :D
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,440
0
Kent
Dear Helen

What a wonderful post from you.

Your feelings of happiness and relaxation come flying down through the wires. Reading this from you gives me so much hope for the future.

Do not feel guilty or insensitive, you are not taking away anyone else`s chance of care. It`s not your fault the system is so unequal. But you can be used as a bench mark for others. This is what everyone should be able to get and what we should campaign for.

I have already said in another post, a glimpse of `normality` makes us more aware of how dementia has affected our lives.

I hope your joy continues.

Love xx
 

Lynne

Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
3,433
0
Suffolk,England
Helen, I' so pleased things are working well for you & Alan.
And don't feel guilty, please. I'm sure those people who are not (yet) so lucky don't begrudge you a little R & R.
By telling us of it, you let everyone know what standard the services we need SHOULD be, and what to aim for.

SkiTTish said:
Do you know, on a wednesday when mum goes to the daycenter, I always do the housework ( only time I get tbh ) I just realised, what a blooming waste!!
Do you know, that's what I used to do too - aren't we a couple of Numpties!:p:eek:
 

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Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
0
london
This is the second week with the sitter and today I can say that I had a wonderful, relaxing morning and I felt like my old self.

Pleased to read that , its just lovely when you get that feeling back .


I also meet in how I would of perceived it in the past as the most strangest people , but really are the most kindness, nicest people I have spoken to .

Not like the little school girl who walk pass me, after I was talking to someone who has Parkinson's disease , he was shaking a lot , she look at him and giggles so I look at her! She tell me "why are you looking at me :eek: "

So I tell her " because you have a pretty face "


Makes you really appreciate life in a different light doesnt it ?

It surly does .
 
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Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
So glad it's working out for you, Helen. Alan seems happy with the sitter, and that's so important, it doesn't work otherwise.

I hope you have lots more 'normal' days!

Love,
 

heartbroken

Registered User
Feb 17, 2008
747
0
derbyshire
As I am typing this I am, of course, very aware of fellow TP members who are stressed out and have little or no help. To you I apologise and hope that my thread doesn't appear insensitive.



Helen you don't need to apologise you deserve all the help you get, and it shows us what help is available.
I am going through a bad time as you know and I am so happy that things are working out for someone
hugs
 

JPG1

Account Closed
Jul 16, 2008
3,391
0
And we are happy for you too, Helen, and for Alan

Dear Helen33

You should accept – graciously, if you do “graciously” - whatever support comes your way called “support”, and because of your efforts the way of Alan.

Is that not we are all trying to achieve, so good on you for having achieved that.

Do not fret about those others of us who have not achieved what you have been able to make work for Alan and for yourself. If anyone asks about what you have achieved, then all you need do is to ask why that achievement should not have been available to everyone.

The main point is that you were and are happy! With what you have managed to put in place.

Next time you go to the Greek café/restaurant, please enjoy courtesy of us, if only that were possible, a flaming Sambuca. Yes, many will tell you it is retro-rubbish, well, so what?

Until you have seen an assembled throng all at table and all being served Flaming Sambuca at the very same moment, then don’t even bother to envisage it!!! But it is enjoyable. Even though it may not be called Flaming Sambuca!!!

Just enjoy the moment of your achievement, Helen.

Take care Helen, and accept whatever support system comes your way! Well done.

JPG

PS. Message to SkiTTish … and to Lynne … how come many of us are not aware of Numpties. Should we be? Or is there something we are missing about SkiTTish?
 
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Helen33

Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
14,697
0
Dear Everyone

I can't thank you all enough for your support and encouragement. Your well wishes are very gratefully received and they have added to an already lovely day.

As for flaming sambuca - I used to live in Italy many moons ago and well remember flaming sambuca;) Cheers

Love