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watch, wait, intervene, how?


New member
May 17, 2022
My Dad has had several lacunae TIAs, confirmed few years ago, been doing really well till this last 6 months. In this time been seriously unwell with infections and left to last minute to deal with. Through these got more confused and agitated, I know alot of this is to do with infections, but am seeing, other changes which suspect is related to the vascular dementia - more forgetful, hesitant in speaking, more shaky, then fine again after couple of hours - really alarmed us yesterday and him . Is determined to be/keep as much of his independence as possible and for as long as possible, which I get completely but am concerned for him....is there anything at all I can do to get him help when living on his own? someone mentioned occupational therapists? also how do you come to terms with someone you love so much, going through this? one minute feeling strong, then the next feeling so overwhelmed and lost....


Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
Hi @Heden and welcome to dementia Talking Point.
Does your dad have any carers coming in, as now might be the time to introduce people to help round the house. If he doesn't need personal care something like Age UK's Help at Home might be worth looking at if they have a service in your area. As well as helping with light housework etc they could take him out shopping or for a coffee. This link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you might also be useful, as will be looking on your local council's website.
However all this depends on your dad being willing to have help coming and being able to pay for it. You can also contact your local social services department for a needs assessment for him and a carer's assessment for you. Services are really stretched at the moment so it might take some time till they get round to you.
This is a very friendly and supportive place and I'm sure others will be along shortly with their suggestions. In the meantime have a look round the other posts. There is a mine of information here.


Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
Problem with therapy, be it Occ Therapy or Physiotherapy, once we are on the dementia path, the ability to absorb and retain the info given becomes less. Occ Heath mybe aable to provide some aids ( handrails/bath aids etc) But of course the user has to be able to remember how to use them safely. Get aids in sooner rather than later

david aldridge

New member
May 18, 2022
Hi Heden,
Just joined TP and already feel strengthened by knowing others are going through the emotional turmoil of caring for someone with dementia problems . So sorry to hear about your Dad (my wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's two years ago) especially as he has a lot of underlying health issues which makes it even more difficult for you. The weight of physical, emotional,and mental challenge on a carer is immense. Each situation is absolutely unique however and for me the key was to get an Alzheimer's Support worker appointed by the Society whose role is to assess your situation and coodinate a way forward for you either directly or putting you in touch with individuals or organizations who can help. Ideally this goes hand in hand with your GP who should also be involved. In the current climate this can be difficult but the underlying health issues your Dad has very definitely means GP involvement which must encompass your own issues as carer. The GP will have contacts with Social Services etc for just this sort of referral.
The biggest difficulty I have had is finding someone to have those heart to heart chats on subjects associated with dementia and caring issues as so many people still have problems talking about these subjects. I can already see that TP could be immensely helpful in providing support here if there is no-one close to talk to. Initially though I think you need to talk to the Alz Soc who I found so helpful and supportive because they know so much about what we are going through. Do hope you can get some real help!


Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
Hello @david aldridge
A warm welcome to DTP
good to read that a Support worker has been so helpful

Now you've joined us here, do keep posting as you're right, sharing experiences does help