1. windyridge

    windyridge Registered User

    Apr 7, 2009
    12
    UK
    HI all

    I am new to this forum so apologies if there are lots of answers to this question already out there which I have not yet found.

    I wanted to ask whether a refusal to wash beyond a cat's lick, or bathe, or wash hair was a common think in AD. And a real resistance to being encouraged to do so. I cant work out where this is coming from, because it seems to be much more that a "leave me alone I cant be bothered attitude". And I would really appreciate any advice on how to overcome it and help my mother keep herself clean.

    Thanks for any advice!
     
  2. Vonny

    Vonny Registered User

    Feb 3, 2009
    4,577
    Telford
    Hi Windyridge and welcome to TP :)

    From what I've experienced with my mum, and read from others' experience on this forum, it certainly is a very common problem! My mother always put cleanliness next to (and sometimes before!) Godliness, and yet it is a struggle to get her to bathe even with the sooper dooper electric seat installed in the bath. We are lucky in that she isn't really fit to argue and so it's a question of manpower bundling her into the bath but if she seems too upset we give it a miss until she gets too whiffy to be ignored :eek: Between times we give her bed baths as best we can.

    There is search facility available on the green bar but if in doubt, just post your question as sometimes there are an awful lot of results to wade through.

    Good luck with the washing

    Vonny xx
     
  3. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,854
    Wigan, Lancs
  4. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    #4 Norman, Apr 8, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2009
  5. windyridge

    windyridge Registered User

    Apr 7, 2009
    12
    UK
    Thanks to you all, especially for pointers to the earlier thread! It's a bit of a comfort to know this is quite common! At the moment, we are all putting up with the niffyness but it is quite difficult and sometime we are just going to have to press the issue somehow. All attempts to do so up to now rebuffed with a Are you saying I smell or In the old days we didnt bathe all the time!!
     
  6. BeverleyY

    BeverleyY Registered User

    Jan 29, 2008
    716
    Ashford, Kent
    Dad went through a major phase of not wanting to shower. Mum used to nag him to no avail.

    Since we lost Mum, he seems to have re-taken to showering every morning, unprompted for some reason which is great.

    Only problem... he doesn't use any soap, shampoo etc. he says.. he is retired and as he doesn't work anymore he isn't dirty enough to need soap:rolleyes:

    I guess I should be grateful he is in the shower - plain water or not lol

    Beverley
     
  7. Bristolbelle

    Bristolbelle Registered User

    Aug 18, 2006
    1,847
    Bristol
    Same here....

    My Mum suddenly went off of baths and showers for some reason even though I have bought bath seats(non electric ones which are admittedly still not the easiest things to use) and a shower stool. She does strip wash regularly though and I;ve been constantly assured this is ok (a lot of people did this in the "old days" as they didn't have bathrooms). Anyway the interesting fact is that when we go on holiday (twice a year) and she goes in respite (every three months or so) she is positively eager to shower! All very odd, but I've tried to learn not to stress out on this one, if sh gets "niffy" I just mention it gently and she washes in no time.
     
  8. jane-anne

    jane-anne Registered User

    Glad to read that what we are experiencing is so common. Mum used to be so particular, showering every day, changing out of her work clothes etc, Now her new bathroom shower is unused. I agree it must go back to when she was a girl and only stripped washed at the kitchen sink(no bathroom). Clothes are another problem. she wears the same things day after day. Cannot tell they smell or are stained. she changes her trousers 2-3 times a day, ironing the previous days ones because they need ironing. She cannot grasp that if they have been worn, they should be put in the wash. Imagine the smell when they are being ironed. We have begun removing worn clothes but are not always successful.
    Any mention of smelling, or stains are greeted with tears and "I want to go back to UK". we live in Spain.( She came for a holiday and decided to stay). I have stopped going to our garden club since members started to move away when she sat down. Perhaps I am being too sensitive. We are lucky really,because for the main part, she is quite manageable.
     
  9. Bristolbelle

    Bristolbelle Registered User

    Aug 18, 2006
    1,847
    Bristol
    Clothes..

    Oh dear I forgot to mention this, my Mum does the same putting dirty clothes back in her drawer etc, but as she goes to a day centre a few times a week I set aside one of the days she is out to go through all her drawers and wash anything I'm unsure of. She has lost her own sense of smell another thing that is very common in Alz sufferers and which may have happened to your Mum thus making her less aware. I have also started to "accidentally" put something of someone elses in with my Mum's pile when I return her laundry this give me another chance to check her stuff, and when she finds the misplaced item she takes great delight in telling me I'm getting as bad as her, which we laugh about and I hope makes her feel less compromised.
     
  10. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #10 Margarita, Apr 10, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2009
    I read how someone on Talking point put on a swimming suit on got into the shower with the person.

    I must say that when mum started to show those symptoms, walk in shower did help . I was contemplating of putting a swim suit on getting into the shower with mum . But lucky for me, mum did not mind me seeing her naked .

    ( The seeing her naked part of it all did take a long while for mum to come to terms with, also me . )

    she would let me shower her, while she sat on the chair that was inside the walk in shower.

    Mind you I never thought of how it must of been embarrassing to them also for us seeing them naked . I also read in a book about AZ. How someone would put a swim suit on the person, while they wash them in the bath .
     
  11. Snip

    Snip Registered User

    Mar 16, 2009
    127
    Oh crikey...this has been a problem with my mum for several years...and causes me all sorts of painful feelings. It has got better since she had carers coming in to help her wash and dress but there is still sometimes a bit of a niff. If we have to try to sort it (eg she is going out where there will be other people) she often resorts to 'Oh..you're telling me I stink, are you?' Then there is the dilemma....if you give in and say 'of course not mum, just thought you might like to freshen up' she feels vindicated in not washing and if you say 'yes, actually you do' she looks very hurt and then says she doesn't believe me anyway.

    I am ashamed (and I mean REALLY ashamed) that I feel so embarrassed about it....especially when I see that someone else has noticed. In fact, at times I feel really angry about it...and that makes me ashamed too :eek:

    I don't know what the solution is :cool:

    I leave bottom wipes in the toilet....but she ends up using them on her face!!!!!!!!:D

    Hope there is some comfort in knowing you're not alone, Windyridge :)

    Best wishes


    Snip x
     
  12. Willowgill

    Willowgill Registered User

    Mar 29, 2008
    91
    South Yorkshire
    Hi - I haven't posted in a while but reading this it makes me feel a little less concerned about the fact that I am having the same problem with my parents. I know my mum has a strip wash every day although how she manages I can't imagine as she can't stand up. She's always refused to shower and would only have a bath - over the last year my dad has had to help her but at 88 and unsteady himself I have been unhappy about that situation. They too are wearing the same clothes day in and day out, I do their washing and know that dad is not changing underclothes either! He is unconcerned about stains on his tops having little sight. Last week I arranged for a carer to come in and bath Mum ignoring all protests from her that she didn't need it. Thankfully Dad backed me up on this saying she needs help. The first visit went really well although the carer said the small stool and worn bathmat are dangerous so we need to sort a rise and fall bathseat (todays trip to town). When the carer came the second time I managed to persuade Dad that he needed to have a shower too and made him put all his clothes in the washbasket. I know that they both felt better afterwards and as this is a twice weekly arrangement through social services I am so pleased I ignored the protests. Next step is getting them to help dad too! :D
     
  13. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london



    Occupational therapist can order all those type of adoptions for your parents. its not mean tested.

    There just been a thread in the Tea room about it, May be of help to you in how to contact
    Occupational therapist

    http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?t=15834

    has your mother ever seen the Occupational therapist ?
     
  14. jane-anne

    jane-anne Registered User

    #14 jane-anne, Apr 11, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2009
    It is so heartening to know that what Mum is doing is symptomatic. Today we had a struggle because she likes to iron the clothes both which have been washed and dried, but also eshe has worn. Her knickers were waiting to be ironed before we could put away the ironing board. 'they are not mine!' Well they certainly weren't my husband's or mine. I can see the day coming when I shall be helping her to wash and dress. At present I have been giving her her privacy. She changes her clothes three times a day, often those she has worn before. That is if I have not managed to take them for the wash. Washing days are a nightmare. The Doctor at the Hospital prescribed a mild sedative to stop her going off the deep end. I feel slightly guilty but she is easier to deal with. I am so grateful to this website.
     
  15. Willowgill

    Willowgill Registered User

    Mar 29, 2008
    91
    South Yorkshire
    Hi Margarita - I'm not sure if mum has seen an OT - we've had that many visits I've forgotten who's who :eek: I was told by the carer who came to bath her that the Red Cross will loan a bath seat out but by the time I'd rung round the houses trying to find out I finally ended up back with her care worker who wasn't in. I was told that it could be several weeks before a referal could result in receiving the chair and to be honest I don't think we can wait that long. Having visited the shop in town we have had to order the chair from the internet which was over half the cost of that in the store. Hopefully it will be here this week.

    Another worrying aspect is that Mum suddenly seems to have forgotten to put knickers on and is wearing tights only - must be so uncomfortable not to mention unhygenic!
     

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