Wanting to please everyone

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Starter, Feb 13, 2016.

  1. Starter

    Starter Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    114
    After months of not showing any interest in anything or anyone, mum has suddenly gone to the other extreme. She seems to want to please everyone, sending letters and cards, phoning people, buying little gifts. (Well, asking me to do the actual buying as she isn't going out now) mum's always been a caring person but it's like she's on a high. Has anyone else experienced this?
     
  2. CJinUSA

    CJinUSA Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    1,125
    eastern USA
    Once she realized I'd help her with things, my mother started extending herself beyond her ability to keep up. She was using an alarm clock to wake herself up so she could make sure she was available to do X, Y, and Z. This was while she still lived alone and I was driving 3 hours (one way) about once every 3 to 4 weeks to look after her. I should have known it was out of the ordinary, but I didn't.

    How are you coping with this?
     
  3. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,035
    My condition means that on average for 3 weeks out of 4 I am in a sleepy mode, not really fully conscious a lot of the time and brain not working normally, when that passes and I 'wake up' I go into a mini panic to try and catch up on all the things I have been unable to do - it is very frustrating not to be able to do what I want to and when I want to, I sympathise.
     
  4. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,890
    Female
    Scotland
    That's very interesting Sue and the waking up mode might explain why my husband every now and then becomes very active and intent on going out visiting a raft of people who in his case no longer exist.
     
  5. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,035
    Your husband's behaviour makes sense to me Marionq as for the '3 weeks' I'm not connected to 'reality' and can't make sense of other people's worlds anymore and 'lose that time, but seem to go back to some earlier memories. - I can't use a calendar properly anymore as have to re orientate myself most days to what day it is but on better days I have to plan for the next good phase and all I want to do, if I didn't I'd forget everyone's birthdays apart from the numerous other necessary things that life entails and I do know sometimes I can't remember if someone is still alive or not:eek: I can't remember it but I know it happened as it was upsetting. When you 'wake up' it is such a relief until you go to 'sleep' again.
    Horrible condition:mad:
     
  6. Starter

    Starter Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    114
    Thank you

    Thank you all for your replies. The insight from those with dementia makes it so much easier to understand why mum might be doing things xxx
     

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