Hi everyone. I've read some similar threads on here, this issue is so common, but I wanted to share our own situation, I hope that's ok.
My aunt, who my parents and I are caring for, has dementia. It seems to be in the middle stages. She is 82 years old and my dad lives with her full-time. The time has come where she is very much regressing; asking to go home, although she is in her own home; she seems to want to return to her childhood home (which no longer exists, so we can’t even drive past), and to her parents (who are no longer here).
She is constantly asking where her parents are, where she can find them, how she can contact them. It’s been getting worse this past while; she would have got more confused and talked about it a lot at night time, but it’s now getting earlier and earlier in the day, often starting at lunchtime. She has always been easy-going, and fairly easy to deal with for the past few years, up until recently. She is beginning to get very angry. She gets so angry at my dad for not taking her home, and when he tries to reassure her she gets very angry and upset, waving her arms in the air and saying things like “don’t you talk to me like that/I won’t be spoken to/treated like this in my own home!” (He never uses any angry or rude tones with her by the way, it’s just her perception and she seems to think that he’s refusing to do this for her).
Trying to distract her doesn’t work, as despite her terrible short-term memory, she is somehow fixated on this particular idea. Dad has taken her out for a drive a few times which provided a short relief, but it no longer works- when they arrive back at her house, she says “why are you bringing me back here?”. We now try to put it off, saying “well, we’ll stay here tonight and tomorrow we will go home”.
It’s very difficult to deal with, to see her getting so distressed and there’s nothing we can do to reassure, I really feel for her. The advice says to not argue/disagree with her; we follow this advice now, we used to try to tell her and show her that she was in her own home, and telling her that her parents are no longer here. The other advice is to try and distract, but distraction attempts aren’t working for us.
I understand there is very little can be done about dementia, and every case is so different, but I’m just wondering if there was maybe anything different you did that helped somewhat... any replies are much appreciated! Thank you.
My aunt, who my parents and I are caring for, has dementia. It seems to be in the middle stages. She is 82 years old and my dad lives with her full-time. The time has come where she is very much regressing; asking to go home, although she is in her own home; she seems to want to return to her childhood home (which no longer exists, so we can’t even drive past), and to her parents (who are no longer here).
She is constantly asking where her parents are, where she can find them, how she can contact them. It’s been getting worse this past while; she would have got more confused and talked about it a lot at night time, but it’s now getting earlier and earlier in the day, often starting at lunchtime. She has always been easy-going, and fairly easy to deal with for the past few years, up until recently. She is beginning to get very angry. She gets so angry at my dad for not taking her home, and when he tries to reassure her she gets very angry and upset, waving her arms in the air and saying things like “don’t you talk to me like that/I won’t be spoken to/treated like this in my own home!” (He never uses any angry or rude tones with her by the way, it’s just her perception and she seems to think that he’s refusing to do this for her).
Trying to distract her doesn’t work, as despite her terrible short-term memory, she is somehow fixated on this particular idea. Dad has taken her out for a drive a few times which provided a short relief, but it no longer works- when they arrive back at her house, she says “why are you bringing me back here?”. We now try to put it off, saying “well, we’ll stay here tonight and tomorrow we will go home”.
It’s very difficult to deal with, to see her getting so distressed and there’s nothing we can do to reassure, I really feel for her. The advice says to not argue/disagree with her; we follow this advice now, we used to try to tell her and show her that she was in her own home, and telling her that her parents are no longer here. The other advice is to try and distract, but distraction attempts aren’t working for us.
I understand there is very little can be done about dementia, and every case is so different, but I’m just wondering if there was maybe anything different you did that helped somewhat... any replies are much appreciated! Thank you.