Want to have meltdown but can't

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by CucumberWhisky, Feb 15, 2016.

  1. CucumberWhisky

    CucumberWhisky Registered User

    Sep 23, 2015
    56
    Surrey
    Hello everyone.

    I'm feeling so down at the moment but I don't know why. Everything I wanted to do this morning went wrong. I've got POA for Mum's bank a/c but when I used the card her details didn't come up and I had to wait (only a short time thank goodness) for a personal banker to help me. Shoes I bought in September have had it, especially in the rain, so I've been looking for new ones. Nowt! All summery and fashion are the ones available.

    I want to cry - and I have had the odd tear - but I can't really let go. I had a good night's sleep but don't feel I want to do anything. The house needs vacuuming, the kitchen and bathroom need cleaning - well everything needs doing but I don't have the will to do it.

    We both have dental appointments tomorrow and it'll be such a palaver getting there. I'll be upstairs and she'll be downstairs at the same time and I know I'll lose my temper with someone.

    Sorry, I hope the rant is over now.

    Take care. CW
     
  2. peachstone

    peachstone Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    56
    West Oxfordshire
    Oh, CW, it's so hard dealing with this hideous disease. I'm so sorry that I can't help you, but just wanted to offer a virtual hug.
     
  3. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,525
    North East England
    I think in the circumstances you, we, everybody is entitled to have a meltdown. This is an awful illness to deal with and we're only human. Have a big hug from me, too. I only wish it could be more than a virtual one.

    Be kind to yourself. Forget the housework, it's absolutely not important, but you are. Give yourself a treat: a big mug of hot chocolate, a nice cup of tea, a big slice of cake, listen to some music, read a book - whatever you enjoy doing. You deserve it. Conserve your energy for tomorrow and rest yourself today, if you can.

    xx
     
  4. CucumberWhisky

    CucumberWhisky Registered User

    Sep 23, 2015
    56
    Surrey
    Thank you so much Peachstone and CollegeGirl. Once I'd unloaded my feelings I did feel better.

    I mustn't have any more to eat though - I'm always having chocolate, biscuits, crisps, etc.

    I'll try & do the housework tomorrow afternoon - we've got a different carer coming on Wednesday and the place is a tip.

    Thanks again both of you. CW xx
     
  5. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,619
    USA
    CW, we all have days like this. Try not to be too hard on yourself (easier said than done, I know). I often think that the administrative/paperwork bits of being a carer, are what will do me in, in the end. It's a very difficult job.

    As far as the shoes go, do you have websites like Zappo's in the UK (zillions of shoes, free shipping and free return shipping, and one year to return a purchase)? Maybe you could find something online. I know they never seem to have things in the shops, for the current season, here in the States, either!
     
  6. CucumberWhisky

    CucumberWhisky Registered User

    Sep 23, 2015
    56
    Surrey
    Cheers, Amy. I've never heard of that website but I'll have a look right now! CW
     
  7. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Hi CW,
    Sorry to hear you are feeling so down. Have you thought about consulting your GP? You might benefit from anti depressants. They can be short term (and they are not addictive) but very effective. Hope you feel better very soon x
     
  8. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Hi CW,

    Take a few seconds break. Breathe, think about a star, coffee mug whatever catches your eye now. Focus, feel your feet on the floor, breathe. Punch a cushion.

    You have every right to feel as you are feeling.

    I totally understand the palaver in the morning. I am supposed to take OH to day care tomorrow and I simply don't have the energy to face it. 40 mile trip for 3 and half hours and then sit in car waiting for him to come out to me. And to make matters worse OH has been in respite for a week. I was floored with flu!! So got nothing done. In the end I just let it me! People tell me I should have coffee, get my hair done etc!! I don't listen anymore more to this advice as in my opinion it is useless advice for me.

    Yes CW, housework could drive a person bonkers and I get into a right tizzy about it. Just try for now to let it be for now. You should see my place at times. I ran out of clean mugs one day! Honestly. You can only do so much and you will get round to it in your own time. Trust me.

    Loads of hugs and support,

    Aisling ( Ireland)
     
  9. CucumberWhisky

    CucumberWhisky Registered User

    Sep 23, 2015
    56
    Surrey
    Thank you, Aisling. I'm so sorry you had 'flu, that really is tough. I hope you're better now. I managed to get a bit of dusting and vacuuming done this morning and cleaned the kitchen this evening. Felt much better having done that, together with a lovely sunny day (for a change!).

    I hope your trip wasn't as bad as you feared.

    Loads of hugs and support to you too. CW x
     
  10. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Hi CW,

    You have done a lot today. Fair dues. Don't worry about housework tomorrow! Basics only! Promise?

    I didn't go to the DC today. I washed all the dishes that I found in various places!! Got T to help me with bits and pieces. Well when I say "help" you know what I mean!

    Pelting rain all day here with a wind that could blow me over!! Haven't seen sun for quite a while.

    Loads of love,

    Aisling
     
  11. CucumberWhisky

    CucumberWhisky Registered User

    Sep 23, 2015
    56
    Surrey
    #11 CucumberWhisky, Feb 17, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2016
    Hi there jknight. I'm feeling much better thank you and I have got some diazepam from the GP - she prescribed them for me when Mum had her TIA in November 2014, and I didn't even have to ask for them. I don't need them very often and only have a quarter or half at a time.

    Take care. CW
     
  12. CucumberWhisky

    CucumberWhisky Registered User

    Sep 23, 2015
    56
    Surrey
    Promise!

    I promise, Aisling! Not going out tomorrow (I think we've got *your* rain now) and I'll potter about.

    CW x
     

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