Hi @Lemons, it's very tough as I think most feel the same way - my Mum was totally resistant to any outside help (Carers/Cleaners etc), however, I explained to her that it was to help me as much as her (which was true). I think @canary is right, it probably will come to head at some point soon, all you can do is to engage with the supported living facility to ensure they are fully aware of the situation (as you see it - not Mum) and the GP. I personally found this one of the most difficult challenges, even with care support and medication. All the best.
Hi, @Pete1 thank you for your support. My brother has told mum that the help is to help him too as he is trying to juggle with work and popping over to see mum but Mum just sticks her heels in. When I suggest something she is a little more receptive, but then the next day she will have forgotten about it, that is why she needs prompting. I think the staff do try but I don't think they have enough staff for people with dementia as they need far more help. Mum has medication that needs to be given 20 mins before eating, it is often given too late or too early and this is causing mum problems with her digestion. Then sometimes they give mum her meal in her room when she has been told she must go down to the dining room to eat which confuses her. When we talk to the manager she just says she will pass the message on to the staff (which I find funny as she is the one insisting that mum goes down to the dining room but she is letting the staff take mum's dinner up to her). There are 3 care staff on duty during the day, which seems short when there are 26 flats with elderly people in with differing needs.
There appears to be quite a few different staff, some with a certain amount of training and others with basic training. When I ring up I don't always know who I am talking to as I haven't encountered them before. I email the Manager rather than ring so that I have a paper trail. Also she is difficult to get hold of.
For me, the problem is being so far away. Each time I go I see a big difference. I try to talk to mum on the phone but that is problematic due to her bad hearing. And mum will tell me no one has been to see her or help her etc. My brother updates me about his visits and how mum is, but I receive no communication from the Sheltered Housing staff unless I ring them up and then they say mum is ok, nothing to worry about. And then when I visit I see a different side of things.
I have emailed the GP as I couldn't get hold of her.