1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. sweetbydesign

    sweetbydesign Registered User

    Feb 4, 2005
    9
    USA
    #1 sweetbydesign, Feb 4, 2005
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2005
    Worried about my DAD

    Hello, i am a caregiver for my dad, my dad was dx with neuropathy which is nerve problems in the legs and is on a walker, my dad also has severe sleep apnea. My dad is 77 and will be turning 78. Why i am here is that his memory and confusion is really becoming frequent, he has had cat scan several months ago , everything was fine, he is one a few medications but nothing that should be causing this, it comes and goes, i don't know if it is due to the sleep apnea not getting enough oxygen maybe to the brain, he cannot use the mask, or if it really is the starting of dementia, andy thoughts would be so appreciate. Hope to hear from someone, you may pm me here. Looking forward to meeting alot of kind and wonderful people at this new site that looks wonderful to me.
    Respectfully
    Angel
     
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hello Angel,

    first of all Welcome to Talking Point!

    secondly, my apologies, because I have edited your message. I have removed your e-mail address more to protect you than anything. TP is a public site. We generally don't encourage providing personal information outside the security that TP provides.

    There is a Private Messaging system in-built, so do encourage members to post PMs to you. In them, you can let the individuals know how to get through to you outside of TP.

    I would suggest not private e-mailing nor PMs, unless you really need them. Try to put your questions, doubts, fears, thoughts, rants, etc in the public forum, while sticking to the fairly basic rules regarding use of language etc. If you post in public then suddenly you have a large group of friends with tons of experience of the situation you are likely to be in. We all try to chip in and it can really help just to receive a message that says "Hi there, I can't help you but I am thinking of you".

    My first question to you about your message is - has Dad been seen by a specialist in dementia? Many conditions can affect memory and personality and it would be best to try and ensure that his other conditions are not causing problems. Also, he is a reasonable age, and the question I would ask you is - what do you mean by "his memory and confusion"?

    Is he forgetting events, names? Or does he not know where he is, who you are, etc? Can he tell the time? Does he know what day it is? Can he write his own name?

    Please would you expand just a bit on his condition as you perceive it?

    Best wishes
     
  3. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hi Angel, welcome to TP, I hope you will find the support and pals you are looking for here, I know I have. Like Brucie, I wondered if your Dad had received any diagnoses about his memory problems because there are, as Brucie says many things that can be the cause besides dementia. What ever the cause, we are here for you, post again soon, love She. XX
     
  4. sweetbydesign

    sweetbydesign Registered User

    Feb 4, 2005
    9
    USA
    Hello

    Hello Bruce and thank you for taking the time and explaining rules etc. i didn't know about putting your email address so thank you in advance for removing it for me, Bruce my dad was dx with idiopathic sensory and motor neuropathy, and uses a walker, in other words they have no idea where the neuropathy has originated from, he is dealing with that pretty well with p.t. But lately he seems confused, now i might be leading you down the wrong path so let me try to explain a little better, oh yes he knows everyone, but he says confusing things like on a day he knows he is going to his business he sold that he owned for 40 plus years he might say hand me my church card, so i can put money in it thinking it is Sun. He has had cat scans and every test known to man, my dad has gone to drs constantly always, even when young, also though he has a severe case of sleep apenea , and i don't know if that could be causing the confusion, it is so hard to explain but he is confused i know my dad , he is 77. My dad is quite sometimes, not his personality at all, he is on depression meds and some heart meds but the depression med is low dose and that was because mom passed away 4 years ago to a 4 month battle of cancer and they were married forever, he has friends, he gets out, but the confusion is scarying me and they keep saying everything checks out, he has trouble explaining himself, like he said to a friend the other day well i tried to get in my car and drive and found out i had to have two keys to drive it, after much deliberation and he doesn't even drive now, i found out he was talking about he bought a new car a year ago and didn't realize it didn't have power entry, and you had to have 2 keys to have the dealer program it, things to that nature, he will forget what he ate for lunch, 2 hours later, he was always as sharp as a new penny. I don't understand, he has a mask for his apnea, but just can't tolerate it, so he uses it maybe one hour and takes it off. i hope this gives you some idea of what i am trying to say. Thank you for your time.
    Respectfully
    Angel
     
  5. sweetbydesign

    sweetbydesign Registered User

    Feb 4, 2005
    9
    USA
    Hello

    Also to you , She, thank you for taking the time to write and i have written about my dad more in depth so maybe you might have a suggestion. thanks
    Respectfully
    Angel
     
  6. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hi Angel, what ever they are calling it, sounds like you are having problems with your Dad's short term memory any way. Do you have any support with it all, does he go to day care or anything like we have over here? Do his friends realise something is wrong? I do hope talking to us will help, over here they say, "a problem shared is a problem halved" I hope we help you, even if we don't know the answer, we are here for you, love She. XX
     
  7. sweetbydesign

    sweetbydesign Registered User

    Feb 4, 2005
    9
    USA
    Hello

    I am in the USA and how i got over there i think i am in UK board correct, i am glad anyway, his friends notice that he seems to think slower and his memory isn't as good i think, but they would never say it, i am sure they can see it, i described some things to Bruce after the letter he wrote me and am anxious what he has to say, he still works as public relations in a business he owned for many years and sold dealing with cattle, but there is something with the constant questions, yet the drs say everything shows clear? i don't understand this at all. Thanks for writing.
    Angel
     
  8. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hi Angel, from your previous posts, I thought your Dad sounded much worse. But if he is still working, then perhaps it would be as well to let things be till others there say something too. If there is something seriously wrong, it will show more with time. If the tests show no problem, could it just be a general slowing down, the way we all do as we grow older? Love She. XX
     
  9. sweetbydesign

    sweetbydesign Registered User

    Feb 4, 2005
    9
    USA
    Different, sorta

    He owned the company for 40 plus years and he is there, to talk to the people about cattle, he does fine with that, but things he says are just not write, it is not really work as you are thinking it is, and i am sure people are talking, one man mentioned to my hubby, sometimes he talks like he is loosing his mind, i thought that was a pretty harsh statement, to say the least but this man is rude and outspoken but he has known dad for a very long time and he has noticed something. That is what bothers me, and he tends to fall asleep alot also i don't know if that is a sign, i am looking for some magic answer here i guess. And being scared and worried doesn't help. Thanks for your reply.
     
  10. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hi Angel, try not to worry, what will be will be. Could well be just his age, he is 77 after all. If the doctors were worried they would say so, I know it's hard when you love some one, but sometimes all you can do is let things unfurl at their own pace. Does your Dad live with you? Are there other family members to share your worries with? Love She. XX
     
  11. sweetbydesign

    sweetbydesign Registered User

    Feb 4, 2005
    9
    USA
    Hi She

    We moved in with my dad after my mom passed away with a 5 month battle of cancer. I have siblings but they helped mom so much driving her to radiation/chemo every day 90 miles one way and they still have children in school, where i have one a sr. in college and the other is 27 so it was easiest for us to help dad. But i don't believe or could blame this on the "age thing" i am sorry to disagree but something is going on and i can't put my finger on it unless it is the sleep apnea or it is the beginning of dementia that 2 months ago they couldn't see on a cat scan, is that possible, i am looking for answers here, thank you for writing,i appreciate your writing from the bottom of my heart.
     
  12. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Angel,

    Why don't you have a quiet word with your father's Doctor and explain that you think that he may possibly be showing signs of early onset dementia. The Doctor will either be able to suggest some other cause for his memory problems or arrange to give him a checkup.

    Hope that might help.

    Jude
     
  13. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hi Angel
    sorry for my delay in replying.

    There are a number of things that can cause memory problems, depression certainly [though whether that is cause or effect is an issue], loss of a very close loved one without closure, mini strokes, etc as well as dementia.

    You really need to get a professional opinion about his condition. His condition is complicated because of the depression and other issues, so someone needs to take a look at everything.

    Meantime, if he is still driving, well it is difficult, may be impossible yet, but I would not advise it, either for his or others' safety.
     
  14. sweetbydesign

    sweetbydesign Registered User

    Feb 4, 2005
    9
    USA
    Hello

    My dad hasn't drove in over a year when he started having leg problems, also he has been to so many doctors it is unreal every neurologist and everything, his last cat scan has been 2 months ago, his last visit they said it was due to the sleep apnea, I don't think anyone understands that we are not guessing here, he has been to doctors he goes like every other week to a dr. for something and has done this since he has been a young person, a worrier so a doctor is not a problem with him, it is that all these doctors can't find anything and his memory is slipping is it possible that they are missing something on the cat scan,? or is it what the one doctor said because of the sleep apnea. We have been to doctors after doctors.......................constantly and neurologist and every other doctor you can think of, he doesn't seem depressed to me, he never did, he is not that type of person. I really don't know why they even put him on a low dose of depression med. He is doing fine in that department, it is just the confusion.
     
  15. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Oh dear Angel, it does seem you are running round in circles with no positive answers, must be so frustrating for you all :( . The only thing you can do, what ever it is, is your best with what you have and you are doing that. - You are trying to help in every way you can, he is not depressed. Glad to hear he's no longer driving, that would be a real worry and danger :eek: . Just go with the flow girl, day by day as our Norman says :cool: . Who knows, the professionals may eventually piece this together and work out what's wrong and how to help your Dad :(. Keep us posted as to what is happening, we may not have the answers, but we are here for you and we do care, love She. XX :)
     
  16. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Angel, do these times coincide with the sleep apnea at all? Do they fall either just before or after kinda thing? Don't know why I'm asking that, cause I still don't know how to help, just lookin' for clues really. :confused: Wodering what it is that triggers it all. When you say he falls asleep, how does he fall asleep? Does he go quiet, or does he just keel over or what? Love She. XX :)
     
  17. Anne54

    Anne54 Registered User

    Sep 16, 2004
    147
    Nottingham
    Dear Angel
    I have no medical knowledge but I saw a program on the B.B.C. about Narcolepsy, if you go to their web site and type in that word, don’t think I could spell it again, and have a read. Hope this helps, and doesn’t cause more confusion.
    Anne
     
  18. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hi Angel

    following on from Anne's post, try

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/horizon/2003/narcolepsy.shtml

    also on Sleep Apnoea [UK spelling!], BBC also has some information:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/articles/sleepdisorders.shtml

    and on Alzheimer's

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/mental_health/disorders_dementia.shtml

    Of course the UK's Alzheimer's Society has excellent information:

    http://www.alzheimers.org.uk

    We most of us find that we need to do a lot of reading of lots of information to understand some of what is going on.
     
  19. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Angel,

    Well it certainly sounds like you've explored every medical avenue for the time being at least.

    It might help to keep a daily diary of your father's confused moments and also note his general day to day health and happiness levels. By doing so, you will be able to chart his level of confusion and also have a written record to show the doctor later on.

    Jude
     
  20. sweetbydesign

    sweetbydesign Registered User

    Feb 4, 2005
    9
    USA
    Thank you

    Thank you all for the wonderful web sites that i will certainly look up, the darnest thing is yesterday and today he is like a new person, this is the best i have seen him, no confusion very very bright, see this is What does not make any sense to me, thank you all for your help and your concern.
    Respectfully
    Angel
     

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