Wandering

[Mummy's Girl]

Hello all

Mum has taken to wandering She goes out several times a day , carrying odd things (tea bags or dishcloth) and never remembers a key but at least she is dressed (the glass is half full)

She doesn't seem to know her way home and ends up at my sister's road which happens to be straight on past my mums house). Luckily my sis or neighbours spots her and takes her in. It is getting very bad though and we heard reports this weekend that a neighbour noticed her front door wide open at 1:30am on Friday night! Neighbour didn't check if she was there though but she was in the house at 8am when my sis went round. She lives local to our town centre that is quite rowdy at the weekend nights so the night trips are particularly worrying.

Occy health visited a couple of weeks ago and have suggested mum goes onto a new trial scheme where a sensor pad is on the door and if it opens, an alarm is triggered at a central place and a rapid response team arrives within 20mins. 2 weeks ago this seemed ok, but since then we are aware that she is going in and out a lot (out when sis arrived, came in, sis gave her tea and left, mum found just 20mins later by a family friend). The rapid response team wouldn't be away!

Any advice??? Any tips??? Are we again facing the possibility of a care home??? My sis was upset on Thursday when my mum finally didn't recognise her house as 'home' and asked 'Can't I ever go home again?'.

Thanks for reading and any help you can offer

Karen
x

 

[Margarita]

Sorry can’t be of any help as my mother doing that a lot wondering and she at home with me , she never done this for 5 years , since she was taking medication for late stage of AZ , seem its all coming back

Any advice??? Any tips??? Are we again facing the possibility of a care home???

sounds like it , if they is not someone looking after her 24/7 , like I am for my mother . as they can be a danger to themself or care plan from SW needs to be Review

 

[Grannie G]

Hi Karen,

This is the stage when I had to consider a care home for my mother.

Painful as it is, she is in danger if she wanders, especially at night, and if she doesn`t lock her door. I believe my mother didn`t lock her door because she was worried she wouldn`t be able to find her keys to open it.

Your mother is also very confused if she doesn`t recognize her own home.

You are heading towards having to make a decision. Don`t let an accident force your hand.

 

[jenniferpa]

Hi Karen and welcome to TP

I have to say, for me, the point when someone is no longer safe in their own home is the point where 24 hr care is necessary. As is not unususual with technology based solutions, the sensor idea is a good one, but the practical applications trip you up. Rapid response? Not very, I'm afraid. And what happens if they're out on another call? In 20 minutes she could have gone quite a long way. Incidentially you're right about the being dressed being the glass half full: I had a couple of episodes where my mother started wandering the halls of her facility with no clothes on at all Following several falls though she can no longer walk at all, so that's no longer an issue.

As to the not recognising her home: it may well be the home she is now fixated on is a childhood home: this seems to be a very common response to the feeling of insecurity and possibly represents a desire to be back in a time when she felt cared for (speculation on my part). I suppose it's possible she's actually searching for that home: if you were in a place that seemed totally strange, you'd probably go looking too.

Jennifer

 

[sue38]

Hi Karen,

I know just what Wigan town centre is like at weekends and would hate to think of your Mum wandering along King Street on a Friday night even fully dressed (for a start she would be the only 'girl' on King Street who WAS fully dressed! )

I am sure the others are right that your Mum now needs 24 hour supervision before something happens. If your Mum no longer regards her house as home would a move to residential care be as traumatic for her as for someone who is desperate to stay in their home?

Sue

 

[Mummy's Girl]

Thanks all!

This place is FAB! It always helps to hear from others who have been inthe same situation.

I will report back to my siblings your comments. My brother and I are in the minority (2/5) as we think a home is inevitable, but your advice may help my 3 other siblings.

I've been to see her this evening and her neighbour has reported that she has been out 3 times this pm, but twice she DID have her key.

Sue... are you a North westerner too? We are actually in Ashton and the nightlife is worse than King St.. although I must admit to being part of it about once a month

Thank you all

Karen
x

 

[sue38]

Karen,

I am from Wigan but my Dad is from Ashton (for those of you who are not pie-eaters, Ashton is a small town within the Borough of Wigan) and I know all about the night life there. Were you in Ashton the night someone tried to remove the cash machine from the Bank with a JCB and the clubbers just watched and cheered? Mad, mad place.....

Sue

 

[Margarita]

the Bank with a JCB and the clubbers just watched and cheered? Mad, mad place.....

OMG and I thought London was bad

 

[Gill W]

Karen,

Just to say I and my mum find ourselves in the same position as yourself.

Gran started to wander off a couple of months ago, the first time she was found by the police, the second a kind gentleman she came across took her home after rummaging in her handbag for a phone number for someone!

SS went to visit Gran on Saturday as regards the sensor you're talking of. I agree, it's a good plan, in theory. However, Gran has a carer that goes in three times a day now, and she also has a meal delivered at lunchtime, so there are 4 occasions where the alarm would be triggered by normal activity.

The alarm was due to be installed today, and Mum planned to go armed with a list of normal in's and out's during the day, so that the guy installing could figure out a way to programme a timer on the device, to activate itself at times that were considered abnormal for Gran to be out? If that makes sense?

The only advantage we can see of this device is that the carer and ourselves can de-activate the thing on entry and then re-activate when we leave, as you would a burglar alarm. It resembles on of those timer's you can put on lights when you go on holiday? SS asked for an up to date photo of Gran as they would send someone out looking for her if she did "escape". And they also asked for a list of where she is likely to go when she does wander?!? For heaven's sake, how can we possibly know that? We'd need to be mind readers to determine why she went on the wander in the first place. The poor thing doesn't even know herself!

For all it's advantages, we can also see pitfalls of this device. I had suggested to mum that she ask SS to possibly ring Gran first, to check on whether she was in the house or not (she still answers the phone, tho she never knows who she's talking to!) if the alarm was activated at a time of day when she's not been known to wander? Then there was just the regular time slots of people being in the house to overcome.

Meantime, the consultant still regards Gran as needing to be in care, so this would just be an interim measure to keep her safe til the day comes when we can have her cared for 24/7.

 

[sophie123]

Unfortunately I can recognise your concerns about your mum's wandering, as my mum started doing it shortly before we had to move her into a home - for her own safety. She would wonder around town with clothes, coathangers, a set of pearls...whatever she had in her hands at the time it would seem. One day, she ended up at my dad (her ex) and stepmum's house, and my stepmum had to drive her home - fortunately mum was too far gone by then to know who this 'mystery woman' was. Another frightening episode was when she got on a train to Reading, and was found by the police at around 2am wandering around by the Madjeski stadium - anyone who knows Reading will know it's quite a walk from the station to the stadium. It's a horrible decision to have to make, but we knew the only way she would be 100% safe was in a home.

Soph x

 

[jenniferpa]

As a matter of interest did you ask how many people were in the response team? And do they work 24/7? As I said above, my mother's wandering was limited, but when she did it was ALWAYS nighttime, and it seems that that is not unusual.

Jennifer

 

[Gill W]

Just to add to my post above: the system has now been installed at Gran's house and it's been programmed to activate at 4.30pm until 7.30am the next morning. This is so that everyone who comes and goes at Gran's has been and gone. The occasions Gran's gone walkabout have been early evening/early hours of the morning, so we've covered those times slots.

The response comes from the same people who monitor the Vital Call system? This one kind of replaces that, but is still linked to the same people, so from that I assume that there is 24/7 cover.

Gill
xx

 

[Margarita]

If your around in TP , Just wondering how is it all going with the system , is it helping ?