1. maria29al

    maria29al Registered User

    Mar 15, 2006
    426
    Warwickshire
    Hi,

    As some of you know, Dad died in June and left Mum (with AD) at home on her own. She copes OK (Just) with visits from carers, meals on wheels, family visits etc.

    However, at 7 this morning I got a call from her neighbour saying he had found her wandering the street, looking for Dad and threatening to call the police as she couldnt find him....so I drove up there and she was back home and ok..a little flustered and apologetic..but OK.


    Anyone else had this problem...any ideas as to an answer????

    Have called the doc but cant get anyone to speak to til tomorrow.

    M
    x
     
  2. candymostdandy@

    candymostdandy@ Registered User

    May 12, 2006
    81
    west sussex
    My mother has also started to wander, but as she lives with me I can keep an eye on her.

    One thing that has been suggested to me, although have not tried it yet, is to place a black mat at the door, apparently they think that its a hole so it stops them going out. Have been told that even though it doesn't work for everybody its worth trying..
     
  3. maria29al

    maria29al Registered User

    Mar 15, 2006
    426
    Warwickshire
    Hey, thanks for that...will give it a go!!!!

    M
    x
     
  4. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hiya Maria

    Can't really help on this one, but when i was young my mums uncle had Alzheimers and before he came to live with us he was always wandering.

    It was very difficult to stop him as he lived on his own, but i remember my mum sewing his details into his coat.........name, address and our telephone number and i remember my mum recieving quite a few calls from the police to say they had found him, once it got out of hand my mum brought him to live with us, where we could all keep an eye on him, he was eventually admitted to a care home as he was trying to escape through the bedroom windows, the windows were sealed down to stop him escaping, but he broke the window with a small table and my mum was afraid he would end up hurting himself.

    Its a difficult one to solve Maria as you can't be with her 24 hours a day.

    Love Alex x
     
  5. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,435
    Along the same lines as the door mat, I have also seen full-length door posters printed to look like books on shelves that are also supposed to help wanderers think that the door isn't a door. I have no idea if they work.

    Jennifer
     
  6. maria29al

    maria29al Registered User

    Mar 15, 2006
    426
    Warwickshire
    Thanks for the info. Went up after work this afternoon and she was in the street talking to some poor innocent man about not being able to get back in the house..her keys were in her pocket!!!...think this is the start of a new period with her somehow....:(
    M
    x
     
  7. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi M
    this is difficult for you......mum lives with us and I have to keep the doors locked......if i'm not careful and forget to lock it she's out like a shot......i think as has been suggested just make sure she's got her details on her somewhere.....I'm lucky in the fact the neighbours are aware of her dementia and they keep an eye out for me and bring her back.....If i were you I'd certainly ask your mums neighbours to keep an eye out if poss
    love xx
     
  8. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    hi Maria

    My dad did that quite a bit. Thankfully he was blessed with the best neighbours anyone could wish for ...... and they'd keep an eye out for him. Sorry to add to concerns, but the trouble with them doing it this time of year (it was around this time last year that dad started) is that it can be so cold, and they don't always remember to put on enough clothes (or put them on in the right numbers on the correct parts of the body - visions of dad with his shoes on the wrong feet, braces slung round his neck, not attached to anything, his flat cap and not a great deal else :eek: ).

    I think there's various high tech things you can get that let you know when the door has opened ............ but of course then someone would still have to respond to it.

    Dad also lived on his own, and I think the start of him wandering was what really triggered GP and social services to sort out getting him into care. Might be time to have a review of what's the best option for mum? I guess lot will depend on how many people are around and close enough at hand to help her find her way home.

    hugs
    Áine
     
  9. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Maria, Mum has taken to 'going out' (I'm not sure it's 'wandering' yet but then I'm deeply into denial at the moment :eek: ) ..... on a really 'good' day can manage to get to the local town (one of those buses without steps from just round the corner)... reports recently 'they've changed all the bus station round' (hadn't - checked it out.....) .... and me - panic mode - she's going to end up miles away one day when she gets on the wrong bus .....

    It's one thing keeping them as independent and safe as they can be, looked after whatever IN their own homes but then they are on their own ... and yes, I and mum are blessed with her brilliant neighbours but I can't expect that to be a 24/7 - nor how do carers (when she will accept them) or 'buddies' ever stop mum leaving her 'safe' home???

    What have they done to be denied their 'freedom'????? For THEIR safety - not as for other 'prisoners' for whom it's for the sake of others.......

    Soz, bad day......

    Karen, x
     
  10. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,435
    I have mentioned in other posts that it can be difficult to find technology that can be relied on, but over here in the states, Verizon (cell/mobile phone company) has a phone designed for kids (it's called the migo) which acts not only as a mobile (only allowed to call 4 different numbers) but also as a gps tracking device. You can also set up zones, so that you know if the user has strayed out of the zone (it phones you to tell you). Now of course, the person in question has to take the phone with them, but is there anything like that available in the UK?

    Jennifer
     
  11. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    karen...i know how you feel.......I have always felt awful about locking mum in......what gives me the right to take away her freedom? it hurts like hell.....but she would get lost and be unable to find her way back.....18 months ago my brother lost mum.....two hours later after the neighbours had been out searching for her he found her sitting outside a pub!!
    i hate it.....absolutely hate it......she has no independence whatsoever........
     
  12. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,435
  13. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #13 Margarita, Dec 12, 2006
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2006
    Yes jenniferpa I was told about something like that , but That can be put around the person neck and hopefully they leave it on , and can track them when out side , and it alerts you on your mobile or house phone , as I am moving in to a house and mum will sleep downstairs , I was worried that she may wonder outside at night time or wonder around the house at night while I am asleep and fall , or if I pop out to shop , so they told me about technical assistant and how it can alert you on your mobile and they can put something on the frount door ,that alerts you if they open door and it go to your mobail , if I forget to lock it at night

    Have to find out more about it and let you all know
     
  14. maria29al

    maria29al Registered User

    Mar 15, 2006
    426
    Warwickshire
    Hi all,
    Thanks for the replies.
    I know Mum would certainly forget to wear or take anything with her. She cannot sort out the buses now..thank goodness. Both her neighbours are young...the one side has only just moved in..bet they are regretting it now as they were the ones who found her!! Luckily I had already given both neighbours my contact details but its not really their problem. Mum cant get into town unless she walks and that would take about an hour. She lives in a small village which I guess is a blessing. They moved there about 18 years ago...wish they had stayed where they were now though as all the old neighbours still live in their old street and would have really kept an eye on here as they were a close community there.
    I think it is time to look at more specialised living and care for her but it breaks my heart even just thinking about it. My poor Mum....what a way to live!
    I shall have to try and get to see her today but I am working a split shift at the kitchen and only have a few hours between shifts to shop and make tea here etc...maybe I should just give up work and do full time day care til I leave for Spain but not sure if I can afford to...I suppose I better look into that too....so many ideas, so many questions...what a nightmare!

    Sorry for moaning.
    M
    x
     
  15. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #15 Margarita, Dec 12, 2006
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2006
    Seeing that your going to Spain ( to live?) would it not be better to look into putting your mother in to support housing, as in sheltered housing , it may be sad , but its for her own safety , better to be safe then sorry , in dealing with your mother

    Dose your mum own her own home?
     
  16. maria29al

    maria29al Registered User

    Mar 15, 2006
    426
    Warwickshire
    Yes I am going to live in Spain. I am going to look into sheltered accommodation for her. She owns her own house and I hope that we can rent that out rather than sell it in the short term..just wish my sisters were a bit more helpful...feel like an only child most of the time.

    Thanks for all the replies. I really appreciate them.
    M
    x
     
  17. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    May –be it is just because you’re the stronger one even if you don’t feel it now , I know with my daughters who is, I have 3. I feel like that with my brother (an only child) wishing that they change and help you , only make you feel frustrated and stop you achieving your goals.

    Good luck
     
  18. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,435
    You know, sheltered accomodation (or rather extra-care or very sheltered which is what I suspect that you'll be looking for) doesn't necessarily have come under the category "what a way to live". Actually, I wish my own mother had moved to her present accomodation BEFORE her strokes - she would have got a lot more out of it than she can now.

    I know what you mean about not remembering to take something - as I said, I've given up on technology, although something like Margarita mentioned might work if I attached it to her walker - she can't get anywhere without that, unless she's being pushed in a wheelchair. Some women. though, will remember to take their handbag with them until the bitter end, so if that was the case, I suppose one could put something like that in there. I wouldn't want to rely on it though.

    Jennifer
     
  19. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Who know one day in the future they may invent something that can be put under the skin implants , as they do with some contraception for woman , so like that we can track them down , Monitoring they movement from a computerise video system



    Then one-step more a chip in the brain replacing the transmission of messages within the brain. That stops all 'plaques' and 'tangles' from dieing in their brain.
     
  20. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,435
    Brave new world, Margarita, or should it be 1984!

    I was thinking of this as I typed my last post. It's the sort of thing (under the skin tracking device) that could have so many good applications and so many bad ones it's hard to know where to stand on the issue.

    Jennifer
     

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