Wandering

[Bunpoots]

I thought we were doing ok managing dad at home. But a phone call from the police at 3am has sent me into a panic. Dad was found "out for a walk " when one of his neighbours called the police because someone was knocking on their door. He'd only walked a few doors down and then decided he'd had a long enough walk and wanted to go home. He couldn't find the way back..

Anyway, short version is he flagged down the plain clothes police car looking for the prowler (could have been anyone!) and he found his named flagged up on their system - dad could tell his name but not address.
Policeman said he'd wandered before on 5th October but as I hadn't been informed I'm wondering if this is to do with the rooftop conman rather than wandering? I'll have to check thru my old posts.

Policeman said don't lock him in incase there's a fire (obviously!!) but get a device that is triggered by the door being opened and speaks with a recorded familiar voice telling him not to leave. Has anyone had success with these? Are their any other devices which would alert me and someone else (incase I can't be reached) so we can go and retrieve him? He doesn't move fast and I live only 5 minutes away.

Another option is to lock the front door and the back gate, there are two other doors into the back garden but he couldn't get out onto the street. Thoughts anyone?

Also wondering if a clock like @Beate has is worth considering. If it said its morning in the early hours when most people are asleep it wouldn't be much good.

 

[gotanybiscuits?]

Probably not a helpful reply, but.......
I had several instances of Dad wandering off/calls from Police/Doc/neighbours, etc.
This clearly wasn't 'sustainable' from 2hrs away. Now I'm on-site 'full-time' the problem is manageable. Still not found many sets of misplaced/hidden house keys, but he doesn't need them while I'm here
He still has a need to go out "exploring", but I'm happy he gets some fresh air & exercise as he shows little real interest in much else.

I'm also thinking about getting one of those clocks, but am hesitating:-
They aren't cheap (OK- he's worth it).
Will he actually look at it, when he is so wrapped up with familiar things & routines?
Will he understand what he's looking at? (He often fails to take-in notes I leave)
I did google them, & see that one model shows 5 'times'.
I think it was expressed as morning; afternoon; evening; night; pre-dawn(?)

 

[love.dad.but..]

I lived with dad during his wanting to get out and wander stage...your dad may not be the same as my dad was...but I doubt if the suggested verbal recording sensor would have worked against his strong compulsion as it seemed he wasn't able to listen understand or react to me when I spoke to try to stop him. I can see it working maybe at an earlier stage but if he is going out in the middle of the night his sense of time and logical thinking of the situation has already declined.

 

[marionq]

In my experience none of these things work in the long run and I’ve tried them all. YourDad is no longer safe to live on his own. Wandering is impossible to stop until the person is physically incapable. The urge for them is beyond reason. I am with my husband 24/7 and he regularly was picked up by police and kind strangers until he was started on Trazodone and daycare. This made him easier to deal with but he still needs total supervision.

 

[love.dad.but..]

I agree with Marionq...I always felt dad's compulsion and need to pace around the house day and night and the wanting to go would only stop when he became physically incapable and as he declined he slept more during the day .... the walking only stopped when he suddenly became very poorly for the two weeks before end of life when due to other medical reasons as well...he went suddenly off legs!

 

[Bunpoots]

The odd thing is dad has shown no compulsion to wander or pace. He doesn't walk anymore, just shuffles, and whenever I suggest a little walk in the daytime he doesn't want to know!! I suspect it may not be too long before he is incapable of taking more than a few steps. That's all he usually manages, when he needs the toilet or food!! The rest of the time he sleeps or watches TV. Really doesn't have much interest in anything anymore.

I have tried to get him to daycare, or lunch meetings (in the early days, he couldn't do the lunches now) which I thought he'd enjoy. But it was such a battle to get him out of the door that both I and the home help gave in.

Strangely though he does generally do as I tell him, simple instructions that is, which is why I wonder if the door thing is worth trying. And taking the key out of the front door...

 

[Bod]

In these wandering situations, when the police get involved, be sure to get an "Incident Number".
This will be very useful, if you need to show that the person is a danger to themselves, and needs a care home placement.
Same for any incident that involves ambulance service, out of hours doctors, CPN services, etc.
The incident numbers, build an official record, that Social Services would be hard put to ignore.

Bod

 

[Beate]

John had a device once, placed close to the front door at an angle. If he came close it would start a recorded message in my voice telling him to stay inside as I would be home shortly. He simply ignored it and waltzed past it.

The dementia clock was a present from his kids so we didn't have to pay for it. They look lovely, but they are expensive and frankly, he took no notice of it either. He would sit in full view of it and ask me what day it was!

 

[Bunpoots]

Thanks everyone. I suspected that might be the consensus of opinion. For now I think we'll take the key out of the front door and lock the back gate so he can leave the house but not the garden. This is the first time he's ventured out by himself and if he feels the need to walk hopefully he won't get too lost in his own back garden.

At least he's on the police radar and his mobility is declining so maybe this phase won't last long.

That's exactly the sort of message I was thinking of recording @Beate "Stay in the house, dad. I'll see you soon" but I have my doubts if it'd work.

 

[love.dad.but..]

Thanks everyone. I suspected that might be the consensus of opinion. For now I think we'll take the key out of the front door and lock the back gate so he can leave the house but not the garden. This is the first time he's ventured out by himself and if he feels the need to walk hopefully he won't get too lost in his own back garden.

At least he's on the police radar and his mobility is declining so maybe this phase won't last long.

That's exactly the sort of message I was thinking of recording @Beate "Stay in the house, dad. I'll see you soon" but I have my doubts if it'd work.

Giving access to the back garden but no further might be enough to satisfy your dad's need to wander...often it worked for dad... because he couldn't get out from the front door...I was always with him...locked the door and had the key with me...otherwise if I nipped to the loo...put washing out etc...he would be off... and I could see from the look on his face after 5 minutes he had forgotten why and where

 

[jugglingmum]

I think letting him have access to the back garden and locking the front door is a good idea and it is what I might have done in your circumstances.

Just a thought, I don't know how often you check on him, but can you put an alarm on the backdoor which alerts you (no idea what tech is available) because you say the police found him at 3am and it is pretty cold at the moment.

I don't know if he was wearing suitable clothes at 3am, or if he is a falls risk so might fall at 3am and you might not be round until breakfast time, so wanted to make sure you had thought this through fully.

Sadly the dementia affected brain does weird things, I remember reading on Ann Mc's so bizarre thread how her MIL could escape from day care at a good turn of speed, but barely walk most of the time.

I'm not offering useful solutions I'm afraid (hurry up and knit those bunny capes for super bunny and they can fly to your dad's every 30 min to check on him is the only helpful suggestion)

 

[love.dad.but..]

I think letting him have access to the back garden and locking the front door is a good idea and it is what I might have done in your circumstances.

Just a thought, I don't know how often you check on him, but can you put an alarm on the backdoor which alerts you (no idea what tech is available) because you say the police found him at 3am and it is pretty cold at the moment.

I don't know if he was wearing suitable clothes at 3am, or if he is a falls risk so might fall at 3am and you might not be round until breakfast time, so wanted to make sure you had thought this through fully.

Sadly the dementia affected brain does weird things, I remember reading on Ann Mc's so bizarre thread how her MIL could escape from day care at a good turn of speed, but barely walk most of the time.

I'm not offering useful solutions I'm afraid (hurry up and knit those bunny capes for super bunny and they can fly to your dad's every 30 min to check on him is the only helpful suggestion)

AnnMc's MIL was just like dad...elderly 80+ shuffled and slow but when his pacing kicked in... his speed was remarkable! I suppose that is where the compulsion and purpose took over signals to his mobility

 

[Witzend]

My FiL was a wanderer, or rather, since he was still very fit, someone who turned into a furious caged animal if he couldn't go for a brisk walk whenever he felt like it. Which was often.

Whilst once staying for a few days with BiL and SiL to give me a break, they locked the front door, since they didn't want him wandering off in an unfamiliar area with busy roads.
FiL simply climbed out of a downstairs window!
It can be an extremely difficult thing to deal with, and I have to say that anyone who suggested distracting him with a nice cup of tea, would make me want to scream. They just had no idea.

 

[Bunpoots]

I think letting him have access to the back garden and locking the front door is a good idea and it is what I might have done in your circumstances.

Just a thought, I don't know how often you check on him, but can you put an alarm on the backdoor which alerts you (no idea what tech is available) because you say the police found him at 3am and it is pretty cold at the moment.

I don't know if he was wearing suitable clothes at 3am, or if he is a falls risk so might fall at 3am and you might not be round until breakfast time, so wanted to make sure you had thought this through fully.

Sadly the dementia affected brain does weird things, I remember reading on Ann Mc's so bizarre thread how her MIL could escape from day care at a good turn of speed, but barely walk most of the time.

I'm not offering useful solutions I'm afraid (hurry up and knit those bunny capes for super bunny and they can fly to your dad's every 30 min to check on him is the only helpful suggestion)

He was suitably dressed although I suspect from what he was wearing that he had started getting ready for bed then had a "brain trump" as we call them, and became confused as to what he was getting ready for. It was raining but he was hardly wet when the police picked him up. He even had his hat on. I realise it could have been much worse.

For now we've put his shoes in the cloakroom so they don't act as a prompt for him to leave the house.

Brother thinks a mobile phone can be rigged to send a text to pre-entered numbers if the door is opened so I can rescue him from the garden if he gets the urge to wander at this time of year.

We'll need to fence off the fish pond, possibly chicken wire so he can see the fish (favourite summer pastime) but not fall in!!

Tomorrow the front door lock is being changed, it's thumb turn at the moment. Hope he doesn't decide to go for a walk tonight!

I'm making super-bunnies capes next!! They can take it in turns...

 

[Bunpoots]

My FiL was a wanderer, or rather, since he was still very fit, someone who turned into a furious caged animal if he couldn't go for a brisk walk whenever he felt like it. Which was often.

Whilst once staying for a few days with BiL and SiL to give me a break, they locked the front door, since they didn't want him wandering off in an unfamiliar area with busy roads.
FiL simply climbed out of a downstairs window!
It can be an extremely difficult thing to deal with, and I have to say that anyone who suggested distracting him with a nice cup of tea, would make me want to scream. They just had no idea.

I'm glad dad's not that fit!! I'll check the windows and lock the bottom ones.

 

[Amy in the US]

I think there likely are alarms or alerts that could perhaps send a text to your phone to say the door has been opened. You could likely also rig a camera you could see from your phone or device. There are those doorbell cameras now. Maybe Google "wireless door and window sensors" or similar?

I don't know if it would help, but would let you know when the door is opened, and if you want to go that route, would give you a glimpse of what is happening.

Perhaps enough time to dispatch the bunnies, who really need bunny-cams as part of their outfits, I think?

It's so worrisome.

 

[Swoozy]

Social services can supply devices that send an alert to say the door has been opened. Like the life line system when they fall. We have had door sensors that set off a buzzer as I can’t leave mom alone that’s enough for us. I also have hive sensors and cameras to alert me when she is moving about. X

 

[Bunpoots]

I'm sorry but what would the fire service advise? In a fire your father might persist in trying to open the front door rather than getting out quickly. Or the fire might be between him and the back door, so he can't reach it.

He has 3 exits 2 lead into the back garden and he uses the back doors more than the front when I'm not there. Generally he doesn't like the front door because the step is quite steep for him. It does worry me that I'm locking one potential exit but the key can't be left in the front door as no-one could get in if it was. Normally he can't find it!!

He doesn't smoke and the only place for a fire to stop him getting out thru the back would be in the hall if he was in bed. I think if that happened he wouldn't wake up in time. Keys are left in the back doors so that's his best bet anyway. There's nothing electrical in the hall apart from the light.

 

[gardengirl]

For what it’s worth, believe you can get insoles which are gps so you can track where they are - only a good idea if they remember to put shoes on! Check out these sort of device to attach to watch always worn maybe! Agree maybe idea to check out care needed as always a heart in mouth when you are not sure which direction they have gone, also way out will be found! Reassess your options!

 

[marionq]

All sounds familiar. Watch out when the PWD starts to take any passing bus. Even with GPS it is hard to track them down as they keep Changing buses.

Been there - done that - nearly had the
heart attack to prove it!