Wandering Residents upsetting dad……

SMBeach

Registered User
Apr 19, 2020
339
0
Hi.
During a video call with dad tonight, he had a wandering lady come into his room. He kept asking her why she was there and who did she work for, what was she after. He’d then ask her why she wasn’t answering him and getting very frustrated by her. This caused him stress as he has a hernia and poor tummy and wanted to use his toilet. Dad has incontinence. I explained to dad that the lady didn’t work there but lived there like him and that she was unwell and wouldn’t be able to reply:understand him etc. Dad said he understood what I was saying but continued to talk to her as though expecting a rational explanation from her. I told dad to lead the lady out his room then lock his door so he can have privacy and use the loo. After about 10 mins he eventually managed to get her out. That was the longest 10 mins of my life. But he didnt lock his door. So she came back in and again we spend the next 10 mins trying to get her out his room. It was incredibly frustrating and upsetting for dad as the pain was getting worse in his tummy probably due to the stress of it all and he was desperate go use the loo.

When he got her out the 2nd time he told me he can’t lock the door otherwise he’ll have locked her in the other room and something might happen to her. I explained she wasn’t in another room but the corridor. He went out to see if she was ok 🤦‍♀️and yes, she came back in the room again. This just kept happening.

Dad used to lock his door for privacy (this is just a knob thing that turns on the door). It locks the door so nobody can get in from the outside but doesn't lock from the inside, so dad just needs to push the handle as normal to get out the room. He cant lock himself in. carers and Nurses can get in but residents cant.

the problem i have is that dad seems to no longer recognise the lock on his door and keeps telling me there's no lock.

I dont know why care homes arent designed with stable doors. it would be so much easier. The care home dont appear to use stair gates and i doubt dad would know how to get out his room if he did have one.

wanderers aren't locked in their rooms and i understand that but staff didnt come once during the half hour i was on the phone. we spent our entire time just trying to get the lady out the room and keep her out.

i dont know if anyone on here works in care homes but are wanders allowed to wander all through the night when residents are trying to sleep???
It will be incredibly distressing to be wakened by a body just hovering around your bedroom in the dark without having dementia let alone with it. This is really bothering me. i will raise it at review. surely residents should be allowed to sleep at night?
 

My Mum's Daughter

Registered User
Feb 8, 2020
773
0
Mum's care home used pressure mats for some residents, so if they got up in the night, the carers would be alerted and attend. Mum's mat arrived the day after she got up to use the bathroom, got lost and climbed into bed with another female resident. To say that I was mortified is an understatement.

If your Dad has another unwanted visitor, suggest that you try to get him to use the call bell instead of trying to deal with it himself.
 

SMBeach

Registered User
Apr 19, 2020
339
0
Mum's care home used pressure mats for some residents, so if they got up in the night, the carers would be alerted and attend. Mum's mat arrived the day after she got up to use the bathroom, got lost and climbed into bed with another female resident. To say that I was mortified is an understatement.

If your Dad has another unwanted visitor, suggest that you try to get him to use the call bell instead of trying to deal with it himself.
Thank you. Unfortunately he forgets where this is and which button to press.
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,706
0
Surrey
In mum’s home wanderers tend to have free reign during the day of certain rooms…those who are more vulnerable like my mum have baby gates so they‘re protected. My understanding is those who are mobile themselves can’t have babygates as it would restrict their liberty to go in and out of their rooms.

During the night there are 3 chief culprits at mum’s. They are all given appropriate sleeping medications which sometimes help but not always. So staff have to keep an eye - if someone is very bad they will lock the door of the sleeping residents so they are not disturbed. BUT the door is locked only from the outside - so no one can get in but the sleeping resident is free to leave their room.

they are 2 chaps who hate the wanderers. They both keep their doors closed which does act as a deterrent- and they both holler loudly if disturbed - and staff will then remove the offender.

Today one of the daytime wanderers was observed putting cards under the pillow of one residents and then wrapping her pack of pads neatly in the duvet! He also visited mum in her room when I allowed. He was generally very sweet and tidied up for me 🤣🤣 but then did start to try and remove a dressing from mum’s arm so was promptly removed!
 

SMBeach

Registered User
Apr 19, 2020
339
0
In mum’s home wanderers tend to have free reign during the day of certain rooms…those who are more vulnerable like my mum have baby gates so they‘re protected. My understanding is those who are mobile themselves can’t have babygates as it would restrict their liberty to go in and out of their rooms.

During the night there are 3 chief culprits at mum’s. They are all given appropriate sleeping medications which sometimes help but not always. So staff have to keep an eye - if someone is very bad they will lock the door of the sleeping residents so they are not disturbed. BUT the door is locked only from the outside - so no one can get in but the sleeping resident is free to leave their room.

they are 2 chaps who hate the wanderers. They both keep their doors closed which does act as a deterrent- and they both holler loudly if disturbed - and staff will then remove the offender.

Today one of the daytime wanderers was observed putting cards under the pillow of one residents and then wrapping her pack of pads neatly in the duvet! He also visited mum in her room when I allowed. He was generally very sweet and tidied up for me 🤣🤣 but then did start to try and remove a dressing from mum’s arm so was promptly removed!
Sounds like your mums care home have similar locks on the doors to dads. That’s a good idea to lock the residents doors. I’ve asked them to put a sign on dads door showing him where the lock is so hopefully they will do that.