1. June the spoon

    June the spoon Registered User

    Oct 18, 2015
    16
    #1 June the spoon, Oct 18, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2015
    I am a new member, my son told me about this site and I thought I would give a go. My husband has got alzeimers I don't know what stage he is at, he won't sit still wanders back and too, hovers over me it drives me mad. Any suggestions how to keep my cool?
     
  2. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    2,476
    London
    Hi June and welcome I know what you mean about the wandering up.and down lots of us here have been through this it's called sundowning no advice to give you but you will find lots of support from everyone on here
     
  3. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,826
    UK
    Hello and welcome. Wandering, up and down, in and out of house to and from the gate is something my mum has been doing for sometime now and at first it used to really annoy me, mainly because I kept thinking how dangerous this was for her but also because for at least 2 hours every day I take mum out, so was beginning to think I was not doing enough with her, not so. Now I have accepted that all I can do is make sure she cannot leave the garden-padlock on gate with a code. When it gets intense and she looks tired I lock the front door or take her for a drive to local park and a little walk. for her safety I was following her in and out!! It was hard to put up with it, but had to, I could not distract her and if I did it was only for a short time and she would return to the activity. Maybe it is time, but I have become a bit more relaxed about this activity.

    If there is nothing you can do to distract, then let it happen, make sure he is safe, read your book or get online and tell us about it.
     
  4. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    Hi there, welcome to TP :)
    i don't have any direct experience of this but lots of people do and will chime in and give you support, glad you decided to join us xx
     
  5. Jacobaz

    Jacobaz Registered User

    May 14, 2014
    2

    Welcome to the forum June, it must be so frustrating and easy for me to say, but I would let him do it and try and ignore it if you can.....read a book.....watch TV......vent on this forum.
     
  6. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    2,333
    Pontypool
    Welcome to TP June, my husband also has this tendency, he would go to each door (locked to prevent him getting out) and wrench the handles so hard I thought they would come off, then once he 'd decided the doors wouldn't open he'd come and sit with me while I was trying to work and then the whole process started again. A drive or a walk were the only things that stopped it latterly. He is in hospital at the moment and wandering there too. Keep posting. xxx


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  7. June the spoon

    June the spoon Registered User

    Oct 18, 2015
    16
    I go through the same thing on occasion, it hasn't got that bad yet, ah poor thing
     
  8. Trisha4

    Trisha4 Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    2,442
    Yorkshire
    Hi June. Is he more inclined to settle if you have been out somewhere with him? Good to meet you.


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  9. June the spoon

    June the spoon Registered User

    Oct 18, 2015
    16
    Hi good to meet you, no we went out this morning after having coffee with our daughter in law, Eddie likes being with her. Went out 12 had lunch then had a little walk, went to rRedcar had ice cream, back home for 2.30 sonya still there as soon as she went he started pacing hasn't stopped yet, also has cd's in his hands puts in his pocket takes out again keeps thinking somebody is taking them
     
  10. Trisha4

    Trisha4 Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    2,442
    Yorkshire
    Oh June. Behaviour like that can really wind us up. I do sympathise although that's not a lot of help I know x


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  11. blueviolet

    blueviolet Registered User

    Mar 1, 2015
    19
    blueviolet

    Hi June I read your message and really felt for you as my husband who has dementia just will not settle.I have tried to get him interested in things although unfortunately he cannot read now. He doesn't engage with the tv much either. He is wandering around the house now as I write and I too feel frustrated and very tired with it all. He has also lost his sense of direction in our home and is always calling for me to find him. Answering the phone is another problem as he sits next to me throughout any conversations. Taking him out doesn't seem to make any difference and he gets quite agitated on longer journeys and has tried to get out of the car on several occasions which was very worrying. When it all gets too much I walk down the garden, whatever the weather, and take deep breaths and look up to the sky which seems to calm me for a while. Everyone copes differently and you will eventually find a way to cope. Keep in touch with talking point everyone here understands and cares.
     
  12. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,826
    UK
    I can take mum out to try and distract, but as soon as we return home she continues the wandering and of course we have already spent a couple of hours out in the mornings. Its like she has to do it so many times a day, no more no less. Like someone else on here I have the doors locked at certain times, usually after she has walked to and from the garden gate for a whole hour and looking tired. from the house I cannot see the gate and so have no idea if she has fallen or not. the door handle looks like it is about to drop off.
     
  13. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    994
    Colchester
    Pacing

    Having read all these comments I have to admit that i can identify with all of them.We are locked side gate and front door. My husband paces from about 2p.m. until call him for dinner about 6.30.pm This is a huge improvement to what it was a few weeks ago. 9.00am til 10 pm. At the end of the day it all keeps changing and just when I think I have had enough it changes again. xx
     

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