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Wandering back and too

June the spoon

Registered User
Oct 18, 2015
17
I am a new member, my son told me about this site and I thought I would give a go. My husband has got alzeimers I don't know what stage he is at, he won't sit still wanders back and too, hovers over me it drives me mad. Any suggestions how to keep my cool?
 
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nannylondon

Registered User
Apr 7, 2014
2,475
London
I am a new member, my son told me about this site and I thought I would give it a go. I find that when he is wandering back and too I I can't always be patient then I feel guilty
Hi June and welcome I know what you mean about the wandering up.and down lots of us here have been through this it's called sundowning no advice to give you but you will find lots of support from everyone on here
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
Hello and welcome. Wandering, up and down, in and out of house to and from the gate is something my mum has been doing for sometime now and at first it used to really annoy me, mainly because I kept thinking how dangerous this was for her but also because for at least 2 hours every day I take mum out, so was beginning to think I was not doing enough with her, not so. Now I have accepted that all I can do is make sure she cannot leave the garden-padlock on gate with a code. When it gets intense and she looks tired I lock the front door or take her for a drive to local park and a little walk. for her safety I was following her in and out!! It was hard to put up with it, but had to, I could not distract her and if I did it was only for a short time and she would return to the activity. Maybe it is time, but I have become a bit more relaxed about this activity.

If there is nothing you can do to distract, then let it happen, make sure he is safe, read your book or get online and tell us about it.
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
Hi there, welcome to TP :)
i don't have any direct experience of this but lots of people do and will chime in and give you support, glad you decided to join us xx
 

Jacobaz

Registered User
May 14, 2014
2
I am a new member, my son told me about this site and I thought I would give a go. My husband has got alzeimers I don't know what stage he is at, he won't sit still wanders back and too, hovers over me it drives me mad. Any suggestions how to keep my cool?

Welcome to the forum June, it must be so frustrating and easy for me to say, but I would let him do it and try and ignore it if you can.....read a book.....watch TV......vent on this forum.
 

Jinx

Registered User
Mar 13, 2014
2,333
Pontypool
Welcome to TP June, my husband also has this tendency, he would go to each door (locked to prevent him getting out) and wrench the handles so hard I thought they would come off, then once he 'd decided the doors wouldn't open he'd come and sit with me while I was trying to work and then the whole process started again. A drive or a walk were the only things that stopped it latterly. He is in hospital at the moment and wandering there too. Keep posting. xxx


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June the spoon

Registered User
Oct 18, 2015
17
Welcome to TP June, my husband also has this tendency, he would go to each door (locked to prevent him getting out) and wrench the handles so hard I thought they would come off, then once he 'd decided the doors wouldn't open he'd come and sit with me while I was trying to work and then the whole process started again. A drive or a walk were the only things that stopped it latterly. He is in hospital at the moment and wandering there too. Keep posting. xxx


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
I go through the same thing on occasion, it hasn't got that bad yet, ah poor thing
 

Trisha4

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
2,440
Yorkshire
Hi June. Is he more inclined to settle if you have been out somewhere with him? Good to meet you.


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June the spoon

Registered User
Oct 18, 2015
17
Hi June. Is he more inclined to settle if you have been out somewhere with him? Good to meet you.


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Hi good to meet you, no we went out this morning after having coffee with our daughter in law, Eddie likes being with her. Went out 12 had lunch then had a little walk, went to rRedcar had ice cream, back home for 2.30 sonya still there as soon as she went he started pacing hasn't stopped yet, also has cd's in his hands puts in his pocket takes out again keeps thinking somebody is taking them
 

Trisha4

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
2,440
Yorkshire
Oh June. Behaviour like that can really wind us up. I do sympathise although that's not a lot of help I know x


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blueviolet

Registered User
Mar 1, 2015
19
blueviolet

I am a new member, my son told me about this site and I thought I would give a go. My husband has got alzeimers I don't know what stage he is at, he won't sit still wanders back and too, hovers over me it drives me mad. Any suggestions how to keep my cool?
Hi June I read your message and really felt for you as my husband who has dementia just will not settle.I have tried to get him interested in things although unfortunately he cannot read now. He doesn't engage with the tv much either. He is wandering around the house now as I write and I too feel frustrated and very tired with it all. He has also lost his sense of direction in our home and is always calling for me to find him. Answering the phone is another problem as he sits next to me throughout any conversations. Taking him out doesn't seem to make any difference and he gets quite agitated on longer journeys and has tried to get out of the car on several occasions which was very worrying. When it all gets too much I walk down the garden, whatever the weather, and take deep breaths and look up to the sky which seems to calm me for a while. Everyone copes differently and you will eventually find a way to cope. Keep in touch with talking point everyone here understands and cares.
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
Hi good to meet you, no we went out this morning after having coffee with our daughter in law, Eddie likes being with her. Went out 12 had lunch then had a little walk, went to rRedcar had ice cream, back home for 2.30 sonya still there as soon as she went he started pacing hasn't stopped yet, also has cd's in his hands puts in his pocket takes out again keeps thinking somebody is taking them
I can take mum out to try and distract, but as soon as we return home she continues the wandering and of course we have already spent a couple of hours out in the mornings. Its like she has to do it so many times a day, no more no less. Like someone else on here I have the doors locked at certain times, usually after she has walked to and from the garden gate for a whole hour and looking tired. from the house I cannot see the gate and so have no idea if she has fallen or not. the door handle looks like it is about to drop off.
 

Casbow

Registered User
Sep 3, 2013
1,002
Colchester
Pacing

I can take mum out to try and distract, but as soon as we return home she continues the wandering and of course we have already spent a couple of hours out in the mornings. Its like she has to do it so many times a day, no more no less. Like someone else on here I have the doors locked at certain times, usually after she has walked to and from the garden gate for a whole hour and looking tired. from the house I cannot see the gate and so have no idea if she has fallen or not. the door handle looks like it is about to drop off.
Having read all these comments I have to admit that i can identify with all of them.We are locked side gate and front door. My husband paces from about 2p.m. until call him for dinner about 6.30.pm This is a huge improvement to what it was a few weeks ago. 9.00am til 10 pm. At the end of the day it all keeps changing and just when I think I have had enough it changes again. xx