1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,578
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    #1 Linbrusco, Aug 15, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2015
    Mum with moderate AD, seems to have taken another dip in recent weeks with confusion and short term memory.
    What is causing me most concern is that she now seems to have forgotten that we do not like her walking to our main shops, as it is across two busy roads and a major intersection with traffic lights.
    Up until now she has always asked Dad to go up with her which he has done.
    My parents live in their own house behind ours.

    3x in the past week she has attempted to walk alone.
    thankfully one or other of us has been here and has seen her and has managed to stop her and convince her for us to take her up in our car.
    One of the times I had to leave work and go home to sort her out.
    Yesterday for example she decided she wanted to go to the bakery, and Dad knew she was going.

    Mum has little traffic sense. She will not always wear her glasses either.
    It would be a matter if time before she either tripped and fell badly on uneven footpath or forgot to press the buzzer at the traffic lights to cross or walked out into the path of a car.

    My brother just shakes his head.
    My sister says I will just have to remind her not to walk alone as it isn't safe.
    Mums Aunt wants me to padlock the gates and doors.
    Dad with MCI says Yes he understands and Yes he will make sure he accompanies her, but then yesterday when asked he said he couldn't be bothered and wanted to watch TV.
    Why he couldn't have phoned me or come over to tell me I don't know.

    I work 3 days a week, and on 2 of those days Mum goes to Alzheimers activity groups. Dad is otherwise at home, and my husband who has health issues and doesn't work is home also.
    Up until now I have been able to go to work and not worry. Now I go to work and worry if Mum has gone walking and Dad doesn't think to go with her nor tell my husband at least, or he doesn't even know shes gone! My sister says I worry too much, but theres a big difference between not knowing at all what Mum is up to and knowing what she is up to and her safety being compromised and I could prevent it......If that makes sense?

    I have already had Alzheimers Key Worker say that it may be time to consider residential care due to Mums safety. :(
     
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,548
    Female
    South coast
    What a worry. :(
    Would it be possible to increase the number of days that she is in day care?

    I must say though that the wandering was the final straw for me. Mum lived on her own, so there was no one to watch out for her when she went walkabout.

    Maybe start looking at care homes? Just to get an idea where you would want her to go...
     
  3. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,826
    UK
    Know exactly what you mean, having to put health and safety hat on! Love the sister's remark "just remind her". Only way I solved this was a padlock on gate, our house has a high hedge and slightly lower height gate, so I was not too concerned about mum climbing over although I did move the bins, just in case. I bought a couple of those little padlocks with a number code. Also hid her handbag and coat because without these she would not go anywhere. This was last year, mum now seems to stop at the gates, I'm not using locks at moment, I think the urge to just go off to the shops on her own has gone, or she has remembered that she cannot open the gates.
     
  4. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,578
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    #4 Linbrusco, Aug 15, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2015

    Mum is occupied 4 days out of 7 between Alzheimers Group, a senior citizens group and me taking her shopping.
    Friday is the only day when she has nothing planned, and home with Dad.
    She likes this day off to have a rest she says :)
    Then theres the weekend.
    With 2 teenagers is not always possible for me to be there all the time.

    Ahhh such a headache! :confused:

    I have sort of looked into nearby Care homes. It seems to be that what we call our Needs Assesment Team through our hospital decised on what level of care. ie Rest Home with dementia needs or Secure Dementia care which there is less choice.
    I have mentioned to Mum quite a while back about Rest Homes, which she has been quite positive about as they look after you, and you get your meals, and always have lots to do. :)
    Personally I would like Mum to trial one for respite for Dad and I.
    I fear my sticking point is my sister.

    The added issue is that our neighbour is developing his property and we are missing a fence down one side until he replaces it, which hopefully is very soon.
     
  5. lizzybean

    lizzybean Registered User

    Feb 3, 2014
    1,398
    Lancashire
    It may well be but she isn't the one doing the hands on caring! She is also the one who thinks you can just remind your Mum!!!
     

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