Oh Dolly - Drama Queen!!!!! I'm sorry that your children have become more distant as I recognise what that is like - ours also have become more distant and it really hurts.
(Hugs) xx
(Hugs) xx
Walk out the door and keep on walking
- Thread starter Jean1234
- Start date
Thanks
Thank you Lizzie and Lilac. As they say, walk a mile in my shoes.... I have been advised by a very old friend who recently lost his wife to dementia that I should ignore them all, especially if they eventually come cup in hand later on So good to talk to likeminded people.
Thank you Lizzie and Lilac. As they say, walk a mile in my shoes.... I have been advised by a very old friend who recently lost his wife to dementia that I should ignore them all, especially if they eventually come cup in hand later on So good to talk to likeminded people.
I say this to my work colleagues their children will grow up my OH (Parkinson's) and mater (dementia) are gong back to being children. Funny, when we were kids his we not here our parents talk about "Old Mrs Smith , going through a second childhood" makes you think yeh
Walk or run to where. Switch off the Love, Its a walk alone down a cul-de sac.
Thats my thought after 5 years since my wife,s diagnosis and a recent down turn in her condition.
Im new to this forum and the fact that Im even typing this is I suppose that Im looking for a little light in the dark tunnel of caring for AD.
At 82 I fear for my wifes care if I am not able to give the 24/7 she needs. She is 72 and a love but not my love of yesterdays. She hardly says a word and is losing control of bowel and bladder function becoming more like a 2 year old by the month.
A twice a day washing nappy, a wash down at each toilet visit as well as the home routine is taking some dealing with.
Help, yes Carol my wife manages to go day care 10am to 4pm Mondays and that give me house work time. I was offered and tried a 2 hour "Baby sitting" session but Carol found it stressing and it was stopped. I am able and drive so although it is like taking a child we still get out and for that Im thankful but it has its toilet difficulties
Carols two children a 50 year old business owner has totally run away since Carol stop giving him money, her 40 year old daughter a single mum with a 6 year old we see occasionally but have not seen since I paid £2500 for them and the son a 4 night holiday with Carol some weeks ago, Carol enjoyed the company of her kids and grand child but they don't seem to care or may be ther,e affaid. May be they will come and see her at Chistmas
Carols dad had AD and after his wife died was killed in a road accident
Carol and I have been married 24 year having both our previous parteners die due to illness.
Many year ago Carol and I talked about old age and promised that while we were able
we would look after each other at home for as long as possible. I always thought as 11 years her elder it might be the opposite to as it is.
We cant walk away can we?
Typing this passed a little time away but Id better get Carol her lunch. bye;
Harry
Thats my thought after 5 years since my wife,s diagnosis and a recent down turn in her condition.
Im new to this forum and the fact that Im even typing this is I suppose that Im looking for a little light in the dark tunnel of caring for AD.
At 82 I fear for my wifes care if I am not able to give the 24/7 she needs. She is 72 and a love but not my love of yesterdays. She hardly says a word and is losing control of bowel and bladder function becoming more like a 2 year old by the month.
A twice a day washing nappy, a wash down at each toilet visit as well as the home routine is taking some dealing with.
Help, yes Carol my wife manages to go day care 10am to 4pm Mondays and that give me house work time. I was offered and tried a 2 hour "Baby sitting" session but Carol found it stressing and it was stopped. I am able and drive so although it is like taking a child we still get out and for that Im thankful but it has its toilet difficulties
Carols two children a 50 year old business owner has totally run away since Carol stop giving him money, her 40 year old daughter a single mum with a 6 year old we see occasionally but have not seen since I paid £2500 for them and the son a 4 night holiday with Carol some weeks ago, Carol enjoyed the company of her kids and grand child but they don't seem to care or may be ther,e affaid. May be they will come and see her at Chistmas
Carols dad had AD and after his wife died was killed in a road accident
Carol and I have been married 24 year having both our previous parteners die due to illness.
Many year ago Carol and I talked about old age and promised that while we were able
we would look after each other at home for as long as possible. I always thought as 11 years her elder it might be the opposite to as it is.
We cant walk away can we?
Typing this passed a little time away but Id better get Carol her lunch. bye;
Harry
Oh Dolly that is soo unkind. Drama Queen indeed! They should step into your shoes for a week or two. They would soon change their tune, if they lasted that long. Big hugs sent to you.
Hi HARRYH
A warm welcome to TP
Families, eh, no accounting for their infinite variety
You are doing a wonderful job caring so kindly for your Carol. So sorry there's been a downturn recently.
Do you have some support for the 2 of you? Some home care visits? A cleaner? I'm pleased you both get a break with the day care. You say you are worried, so maybe it's time to go back to Adult Services and ask for an up to date assessment of her care needs, you may be able to get another day at day care for instance. And do have a carer's assessment for yourself, it's your entitlement - you may be able to organise respite, a little holiday for you both. It may be a chance to see what it is like for someone else to take on the 24/7 support, while you 2 share time together with no chores for you to do.
Please do also have a chat with your GP about the toileting, there may be ways to help with that too.
Do come back and pass a little more time here with us.
A warm welcome to TP
Families, eh, no accounting for their infinite variety
You are doing a wonderful job caring so kindly for your Carol. So sorry there's been a downturn recently.
Do you have some support for the 2 of you? Some home care visits? A cleaner? I'm pleased you both get a break with the day care. You say you are worried, so maybe it's time to go back to Adult Services and ask for an up to date assessment of her care needs, you may be able to get another day at day care for instance. And do have a carer's assessment for yourself, it's your entitlement - you may be able to organise respite, a little holiday for you both. It may be a chance to see what it is like for someone else to take on the 24/7 support, while you 2 share time together with no chores for you to do.
Please do also have a chat with your GP about the toileting, there may be ways to help with that too.
Do come back and pass a little more time here with us.
only if we choose to take them on patsy56! It helps me to remind myself I do have a choice and when I feel like running away it's probably because I am being over responsible and need to let go a bit!
Walking away
Well we can walk away but most of us wouldn't Harry. The post is more about feeling overwhelmed as we all do at times and just wishing we didn't have to deal with all of this, and that is totally human and understandable. You seem to be dealing with an awful lot in terms with caring for your wife and don't have much outside support. Please take the advice from Shedrech regarding asking for more input from social work and a carers assessment for yourself. You need to stay well if you are to continue with the loving care you provide and that means looking after yourself. Take care and come back and post.
Well we can walk away but most of us wouldn't Harry. The post is more about feeling overwhelmed as we all do at times and just wishing we didn't have to deal with all of this, and that is totally human and understandable. You seem to be dealing with an awful lot in terms with caring for your wife and don't have much outside support. Please take the advice from Shedrech regarding asking for more input from social work and a carers assessment for yourself. You need to stay well if you are to continue with the loving care you provide and that means looking after yourself. Take care and come back and post.
walking away
I think it was called The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin. My husband has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and I fear I may be in the same boat as you as far as keeping the house goes. I had worked out that I would just be able to manage when he died, what with a state and a private widow's pension, but without those and without his income contributing, I don't see how I will be able to cope financially. Suddenly your security is gone, and you feel as if you are living on the edge of a volcano.
I think it was called The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin. My husband has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and I fear I may be in the same boat as you as far as keeping the house goes. I had worked out that I would just be able to manage when he died, what with a state and a private widow's pension, but without those and without his income contributing, I don't see how I will be able to cope financially. Suddenly your security is gone, and you feel as if you are living on the edge of a volcano.
Taking a walk might be a good idea. I know its used in the states to treat AD patients. A walk in the park somehow makes the brains grow new neurons, delaying the symptoms.
