Mum says she has had diarrhoea again this weekend. The last time this happened I had to clean it up a couple of days after it happened (I live over 100 miles away and can't always drop everything instantly to deal with problems like this) and it was so unpleasant I cried while I scrubbed the floor, the toilet, the sink and the bath. I was at mum's last week - Tuesday until Thursday - and had to clean up the "usual" mess - dirty bathroom and kitchen (both vile but neither unmanageably dirty) and pick up the "usual" number of used tena lady pads which were distributed around the bathroom, bedroom and kitchen. I changed the wet bed. I can't - even if I wanted to (and I don't) - go back this week. I try to go through every 3/4 weeks which isn't nearly enough to deal with the level of mess and dirt. I find the house so repellent now I'd rather not have to ever go there again but I'm stuck with it because mum refuses any sort of support. I swore after the last time I wouldn't be cleaning like that again. But what do I do? Leave it? I'm so fed up with her GPs, the Social Work department and the Dementia Support team! It's okay for them....they don't actually have to deal with mum's unwillingness to accept help or her lack of understanding that she needs support. They just ask how she is and accept 'fine' and ask if she needs help and accept 'no' for an answer. I wonder how long it will take for me to feel sufficiently guilty to give in and go and scrape the **** (sorry) off every surface in the bathroom.