Waiting Lists For Care Homes

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
It looks as though my Mum will hopefully be getting an assessment from social services soon. The police have picked her up twice this week after she’s been found wandering in the local area half dressed and they’ve made a safeguarding alert.
Oh dear, it looks like the time has come quicker than you were expecting
I hope arrangements can be made to keep your mum safe
xx
 

GillP

Registered User
Aug 11, 2021
3,855
0
@Firecatcher, I hope that the assessment is completed soon and things put in place to keep your Mum safe. In the meantime do remember to look after yourself. Take care x
 

Give me sunshine

Registered User
Mar 1, 2019
37
0
London
How difficult or straightforward is it to find a place in a care home. My Mum with Alzheimer’s has deteriorated significantly since being diagnosed two and a half years ago. My Dad is struggling to cope but persistently refuses any outside help. I live over a 100 miles away and work full time. I don’t want to be a carer and in any case with the rising costs of living can’t afford to give up work. I’m actually doing overtime to pay for the petrol costs of the return journey when I visit. I suspect Mum will outlive Dad and wonder what would happen if he died or became ill as he’s the sole carer. There’s no other family to help.
Would I be expected to sort out a care home or would social services step in if there was a sudden emergency?My Mum would be self funding initially although the money they have won’t last long. I have a POA for health and finance. Is it worth putting my Mum’s name forward to local care homes now and can I do this without my Dad’s agreement as he also has POA. He isn’t very realistic about the future and won’t make any provision.
I'm so sorry you're going through all this. Very difficult. Yes, I would say definitely put her name down for some local care homes. If a place comes up, you don't have to take it, but it's a good idea to keep your options open and to plan ahead. Good luck with it all and take good care :)
 

Firecatcher

Registered User
Jan 6, 2020
576
0
@Firecatcher, I hope that the assessment is completed soon and things put in place to keep your Mum safe. In the meantime do remember to look after yourself. Take care x
Thank you and I hope so too although i feel my Dad will underplay things as this has happened before when Ive tried to get help for him. The police returned my Mum for a fourth consecutive time today after she’d wandered off half dressed. I just don’t see the point in them returning her home where it’s obvious my Dad isn’t coping. She’s also aggressive and threatening to him. I phoned and told them that she’s threatened to kill him. They said they’d go and see him but I expect he’ll laugh it off.
 

Firecatcher

Registered User
Jan 6, 2020
576
0
My Mum was admitted to hospital after falling and sustaining a head injury following a further episode of aggression. I was contacted by a social worker from the hospital who had visited my parents the previous day in response to the safeguarding submitted by the police. She has recommended that my Mum isn’t discharged until a care home is found. I’m not sure whether this will be the case as I’d have thought there would have to be a number of meetings and assessments to reach that decision. My experience of my Mum being in hospital in the past has been that things are poorly communicated and I fear she’ll simply be discharged once medically fit. I’d welcome any advice from others who have been in this position.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,194
0
Nottinghamshire
Hi @Firecatcher, so sorry that your mum has ended up in hospital, but this could be the best thing for getting her the help she needs.
If you or your dad get any phone calls about your mum coming home just flatly refuse to accept her. It sounds like the hospital social worker is aware that your mother now needs to be in care, so if anyone says any different refer them to her.
This is a tough time for you and your dad specially as you are so far away.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,342
0
Nottinghamshire
Hi @Firecatcher

I agree that you should refuse to have your mum home. I did this for my dad and was told if I didn’t take him home he’d have to be put on a section 2 - this turned out very well as the hospital were then responsible for finding him a bed to assess in a carehome.
 

Firecatcher

Registered User
Jan 6, 2020
576
0
Thank you. The problem is my Dad is the sole carer and if the ward phoned and asked him he’d agree to have her home even though recent events have proved he can no longer cope. I live miles away and am not in a position to help. The social worker contacted me as although my Dad also has power of attorney they didn’t feel he had the capacity to make decisions. I think my Mum was at the point of being assessed under the mental health act prior to the fall and head wound.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
Hospital SWs have a lot of clout over discharge.
In the circumstances (safeguarding report from the police, accident and head injury and the SW feeling that your dad no longer has capacity) I think it highly unlikely that your mum will go home. If you havent told the hospital SW about your mums threats to kill your dad, then I would contact them (ask switchboard to put you through to the Social Workers department) and tell them. You may have to leave a message on their answerphone, but make sure they know exactly what is going on at home.
 

Firecatcher

Registered User
Jan 6, 2020
576
0
Hospital SWs have a lot of clout over discharge.
In the circumstances (safeguarding report from the police, accident and head injury and the SW feeling that your dad no longer has capacity) I think it highly unlikely that your mum will go home. If you havent told the hospital SW about your mums threats to kill your dad, then I would contact them (ask switchboard to put you through to the Social Workers department) and tell them. You may have to leave a message on their answerphone, but make sure they know exactly what is going on at home.
Thanks for your reply. I made it very clear to the social worker yesterday about my Mum’s threats to my Dad and that this had happened on more than one occasion. I’ve also contacted the ward and confirmed that they’re aware that my Mum shouldn’t be discharged home.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
Good. You have done everything that you can.
I really think it is unlikely that she will be discharged home.
I hope the hospital SWs can find a care home for her soon
xxx