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Waiting for Dad to let go

keywest67

Registered User
Mar 19, 2012
169
Coventry
Dad is still in hospital, not regained consciousness since Sunday, he has pneumonia, his chest sounds dreadful, he has had a stroke, he cannot eat, it's so hard to watch my Dad like this, I feel guilty wanting it to end but at the same time I know when it happens it will be a relief after the last 3 years of hell, watching my caring, gentle dad fade away, I miss him so much..........I feel so helpless, Alzheimer's is such a cruel disease, it shows no mercy
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
61,824
69
Dundee
I too am sorry to read about your dad Keywest. Wishing him peace and wishing you strength.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,129
Kent
We were in the same position last January keywest, my husband had pneumonia and antibiotics no longer helped him.

I hope your dad is being kept pain free and has a peaceful passing .
 

Pickles53

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
2,474
Radcliffe on Trent
Keywest, so sorry to hear that you too are walking the sad road that ended for us just over a week ago. There are really no words I can add except to say we are all with you in spirit and wishing you peace and strength.
 

Cornishman

Registered User
May 27, 2013
379
Thinking of you. Don't feel guilty - I couldn't mourn over the loss of my mum's quality of life as there just wasn't any. But our mums and dads are such a massive part of our lives it's bound to be an emotional time so I feel for you and your dad.

Best wishes
 

keywest67

Registered User
Mar 19, 2012
169
Coventry
Thank you for your kind words, been with Dad most of the day, they have stopped all treatment and have said they will just make him as comfortable as possible so he goes peacefully, today has been a day of tears and memories for me, thinking of my wonderful funny caring dad who always seemed so strong.........my mum and sister are with Dad at the hospital now so he is not alone, he is not conscious, it's like he is in a deep sleep which in many ways is a blessing, I'm thinking of all TP members who have or going through this same very difficult road ,thankyou for being there x
 

lindsey60

Registered User
Nov 6, 2013
8
my mum passed on the 9th after being diagnosed with pnuemonia...Im really feeling your pain right now...but as long as dad is comfortable and out of pain...just be there when you can and pls stop feeling guilty this is all out of you control...all you can do is be there and supportive when you can..I hope his passing is short and peaceful...and you need to know you have done all you can...this disease is a law unto itself x x x
 

Gigglemore

Registered User
Oct 18, 2013
526
British Isles
Wishing your Dad a peaceful passing. So lovely that you have good memories of your wonderful Dad to sustain you. Wishing you, your mother and sister strength at this painful time.
 

lilysmybabypup

Registered User
May 21, 2012
1,263
Sydney, Australia
I went through the same thing with a beautiful dad last year. It's soul destroying, you poor poor thing. It's exhausting, both physically and emotionally.

You're doing such a wonderful thing, and never feel bad about wanting the peace to come. It's such a double-edged sword, wanting the horrors to end but knowing the person you love will be gone. So hard for you. It's also wretched watching helplessly. Just make sure he's kept pain free and comfortable, hold his hand, speak softly and tell him all the things you love about him. It's our gift to the ones who have loved us since we came into this world.

I always had to rationalise that Dad gave up his struggle for life to save our family from completely falling apart, especially my poor exhausted mum.

I wish you peace, strength, and special moments to tuck away in your heart.

xxx
 

VickyG

Registered User
Feb 6, 2013
327
Birmingham
My thoughts are with you, hope your Dad passes peacefully and strength to you and your family at this awful time. Sounds like it won't be long xx
 

keywest67

Registered User
Mar 19, 2012
169
Coventry
Thank you all for your kind words and advice, Dad is back at his care home, we thought it better than the hospital and the staff are kind and caring, it's harrowing to watch dad, he looks and sounds so terrible but I can't see him in any pain, therefore no pain relief administered, I wish the horror would end soon for my mental sanity and for my poor mum.